Love At First Sight
by TwistedforTwilight
Summary: Relationships don't exist in this world. Are Edward and Jasper strong enough to overcome the odds, or will they just become another statistic? AH/Slash ExJ. Rated M for sexy times.
1. Interviews

**AN: I know I have another story out there, Burnt Marshmallow's, which I have not forgotten about and I fully intend on getting a chapter out soon, but every time I start to work on that story this one invades my mind.**

**This story will be approximately 20-25 chapters, there will be 3 different POV's, but only one per chapter, and will hopefully be updated every 7-10 days, if not sooner. It will contain slash, and graphic lemons, but this is inspired by two people living in this situation, so there is a plot as well. I'll reveal who this couple is once we get a few chapters in.**

**For all of the Finding Forgiveness readers: This will in no way affect the frequency of posts to that fic, as you know I am fully dedicated to that story.**

**I still consider myself a beginner at writing, so take it easy on me.**

**Thanks to my QueenBeta, Cullen818 for reading my dirty stories, and fixing them up. She'll be writing her own slash before I am finished with her! We'd be really lucky if she did.**

**Disclaimers: I do not own twilight or any of its characters, and you shouldn't read this story, or any of my other ones for that matter, if you are not over the age of 18. **

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**Chapter 1 - JPOV**

"So…Jasper…How are you doing this morning? Are you enjoying Vegas?"

"I'm doing fantastic. Things are going great. I love it here. We're keeping ourselves pretty busy during the day, but we have been really enjoying the nightlife here in Vegas. There are so many things to do and see." I pretend to be more enthusiastic than I feel. I make use of my hands when I talk, and I spread my infamous smirk across my face.

The fact is - I'm bored…not that Vegas isn't everything I thought it would be and more. It's fabulous really, but seeing the sights with people you barely know takes a little bit of the fun out of it. I also, haven't been able to sleep much since I arrived three days ago. I am always being pulled one way or another. Between all the shit that comes with work and attending the after hour's business and social functions, I've only managed to doze a few hours here and there.

Even at twenty-one years old these trips always took a lot out of me. It wouldn't be any surprise for me to return to my home in Corpus Christi TX and not get out of bed for a couple of days.

"I'm sure your fans would be interested to know if you have a significant other…do you?" Alistair, the journalist from "Alternative Vegas" asks.

"Nope." I answer with a pop. A significant other? What is that? I haven't even been on a date since I was in high school…before I had taken on this gig. I hadn't been out of high school for more than a couple of months before I was approached with my first job offer. I felt relief. For a confused kid just trying to figure out what he was going to do next this was a godsend. I had no real aspirations to be anything in particular, and I didn't relish the idea of college. Not one subject ever stood out at school. I received good grades in just about all my classes, but it didn't come easily to me. I had to study hard. There wasn't room for much of a social life and dating, even then, and now…ugh.

Now, people recognize me. They expect certain things out of me. They expect me to act a certain way, by saying and doing things that aren't really me. Would I like to settle down with someone? Hell, yes! I beg frequently for a quiet life with a special someone. A life that didn't require that I sit with overweight, bald men and cameramen that pick their nose, while I answer questions no one really has the right to know.

One day, I want to settle down. I would prefer to find a home in the country or on a beach, particularly far away from people, to live out the rest of my days. I know that will be a while in coming. I will definitely have to put up with this shit for a few more years, but it will eventually finance my freedom.

"So, you're bi right?"

"Yep." I answer with another pop, and I can tell that Alistair is getting irritated with my short answers.

"How long have you known that you liked boys, as well as girls?" Hadn't he read any other interview I have ever done? I have been asked this question so many times in the last three years I had the same schpeil memorized.

So, I say a tiny bit condescendingly, "Well, Alistair, I realized that I liked boys when I was about thirteen."

"Can you tell us about your first experience?"

_How did I know that was coming?_ I must be psychic…or psycho…one of those anyway.

"The year I turned thirteen my best friend had a cousin that came to spend the summer with him and his parents, his cousin was fifteen and had just gotten his driver's license. We ended up spending a lot of time together. One day, my best friend was grounded for some reason or another so his cousin and I went to the movies. As soon as we sat down in the theater I knew something was different. Halfway through the movie our hands had connected in some way. I don't know who instigated that first touch; I just knew that it felt right." I briefly lost myself in a moment of reverie as I visualized the scene I had been asked to describe on so many different occasions.

"Anyway, I didn't pay any attention to the rest of the movie. When it was over our hands disengaged, but when we got to his car, our hands sought each other's immediately. It was a surreal feeling. It floored me at how much I craved that touch, and also how much it appeared that he did as well. My heart was pounding out of my chest. We could barely breathe by the time he pulled into the driveway of my house. We didn't look at each other and eventually our hands separated. Nothing else happened that night, but I realized that night I was bi. Over the last month, we had experimented with each other and the last week we were together we took each other's virginity. It felt like my little thirteen year old heart broke after he left, but a week later I was already crushing on a new boy."

"Did your best friend know you were "seeing" his cousin?"

"No…I never spoke to my best friend about it, and I don't believe his cousin did either." I laugh lightly as I picture my very naïve ex-best friend. He stopped talking to me after I came out at fifteen. He had never suspected that his cousin was the one that helped me find myself.

"Which do you prefer, boys or girls?"

"Boys." I decide to give the poor guy a break and answer with more than one word without being prodded. "I am very rarely attracted to girls, but it is possible, and when I do find one that I am attracted to I do find enjoyment being with them sexually."

"So, what do you do for fun?" Seriously? These questions are just a replication of my last interview. I should have just brought a copy of that I could have saved myself the hour._ What the fuck?_

"Let's see…crocheting, bingo, bowling." Alistair's face is turning red in anger, as he comprehends that I am being sarcastic. So I decide to confront him.

"Have you read any other interviews that I have already done? Did you prepare for this at all?" I scold.

He pulls out a piece of tattered fabric from his pocket, and dabs the perspiration accumulating on his brow. His eyes travel quickly to both sides of the paper he has in his hand, which presumably holds the not very well thought out questions he is asking me now.

I don't have time to be wasting on this douche.

I never let the small successes that I have had get to my head. I realize that in this business, my career could be over tomorrow, and without a moment's hesitation I would be forgotten. I never displayed superiority or acted like I was better than anyone else, but this guy was a major doofus.

"Do you have any questions about the movie?" I supply, wanting to get this over with quickly.

He looks up with a grateful smile. "Yes, yes…let's see." He finally finds an area on his list of questions that makes him let out a very audible sigh.

"You've worked with this producer before?" He throws the sweat filled rag to the ground and tries to regain some semblance of professionalism.

"Yes, I have worked with both Felix, the producer, and Tanya, the director before. They immediately thought of me when they created, Adam, the main character, for _Love at First Sight_."

"Do you believe in the name they chose?"

"Love at first sight? Umm…no, not really. I don't personally think you can find anything beyond attraction on first sight."

Alistair agrees wholeheartedly by shaking his head adamantly for the camera. "So, I hear you are working with some familiar faces in this movie…"

I smile. "Yeah, I've had the pleasure of working with Emmett McCarty before and James Hunter. Ummm…Edward Cullen is a new one though."

He looks up curious, possibly thinking beyond his pre-set questions. "Yes, Edward…how are you two getting along?"

Edward is very hot…and gay. I had only seen him in pictures. Edward has been, up to this point, only a photography model. This will be his acting debut, and his first time in front of a live camera.

Edward is into modeling for a reason…he is simply gorgeous. One of the first things that I noticed and perplexed me about him is that he has this crazy sex hair…but I am not really sure of the color. In every picture I found of him it looked like a different color. The lighting had played tricks with his hair, changing it from deep to light brown in some snapshots to red and an odd orangy color in others. I can't wait to see it in reality so I can finally see what color it actually is.

Another amazing feature he has is that his eyes are like a deep green. I didn't know if it was another deception from the lighting or other manual photo enhancement, but they sparkle in each picture, I don't think I have ever saw eyes shine so brightly. I noticed that in all the pictures I viewed that he always had a very mischievous glint in them, making him appear playful...in a very, very naughty way.

To add to his list of redeeming qualities he has high, chiseled cheekbones, flawless skin, pouty lips and a dominant jaw line. His teeth are straight and pearly white, his body is lanky, but fit, devoid of any markings or piercings.

Physical perfection. He is definitely a beautiful specimen.

Emotionally or intellectually - I have no idea. I couldn't find any on-camera interviews and there was only a slight blurb from him on one of the websites that displayed his portfolio that didn't say much at all, but from what I gather he is pretty wild and flirty. I chuckle. It should be a very interesting next couple of days.

"Edward hasn't arrived yet, I am expecting to meet him on-set later this afternoon. We won't start shooting together until tomorrow."

"Okay…" Alistair says, looking at his watch, and then to the sleazy looking camera guy. The have some kind of silent conversation, and then I see the camera focus solely on me before Alistair's eyes return to me. "Well…I guess its time…let's see the goods."

I sigh and shake my head – but only internally. I can never show my distaste.

I can't believe I used to enjoy this at one time.

I slowly pull myself up, and lower my jeans and underwear. I turn several times slowly so the cameraman can get all the angles.

I can't be disgusted by the hungry looks in these two men's eyes. If it weren't for people like them I wouldn't have a job.

I am a porn star after all.

Alistair rifles through more papers before he looks up with a smile. "It looks like we have contracted you for some hand action."

"Yep." I remove my t-shirt before sitting back down in the oversized chair that I previously possessed, getting as comfortable as I can. I position myself so that I am leaning back so that my shoulders are pushed against the back cushion. I prop the heels of my feet on the seat of the chair so they can get a full view of what they are paying for.

I shut my eyes as I run my hand across my chest and abdomen while the other hand strokes my semi-hard cock, occasionally I run my fingertips over my balls, pulling them up, so they can get the complete shot. Everything is for the camera.

Everything is _always_ done for the camera.

I open my eyes momentarily, giving the camera a wanton look. I seduce the lens as my eyes are half-lidded, my mouth opens into a soft "O", my body gyrates once, imitating feelings of extreme pleasure, courtesy of the touch of my own hand.

Before my eyes close again, I see Alistair licking his lips and the cameraman palming himself over his khaki shorts.

Behind my eyelids, I search my catalog of fantasies before I go completely flaccid. I have fantasies that get me off slow, and ones that get me off fast. I have ones that make my orgasm more intense and other's that merely satisfy the needs of everyone around me.

Wanting to get this over quickly, I choose mine and Emmett's on-screen session from yesterday. It had been _hot_. Emmett has always been a good fuck. We met on the set of the last movie I did, _Twink, Twink, Little Star._ I fucked him hard on-set and then again afterward. When he had showed up yesterday we had greeted each other with mutual blowjobs. For a big muscular guy, Emmett could nimbly position himself in ways that made him famous and sought after in his own right.

So, I take that visual and imagine myself pile-driving into Emmett's bubble ass, drowning in all the sensations that come along with that. I remember to moan for affect, and arch my back pretending desire. These functions are rarely natural anymore.

The images of Emmett make me hard, as I stroke my dick long and slow, then switch to short and fast. I open my eyes briefly to see the two of them panting as they give themselves a proper wank as well.

But when I shut my eyes, my images change unconsciously. It's not Emmett I am fucking from behind anymore. This ass is tight…_fuck me,_ and he has a tall, slim back, not a meaty one like Emmett's, his hair…it's not short and dark brown, its…fuck what color _is_ that? I want to touch it. I have to touch it. How soft is it? Is it as thick and luxurious as it looks?

I glance down quickly at my throbbing cock. My hips are now lifting into my hand, fucking my tight fist. The groans are not simulated anymore, I momentarily forget about the camera and the two other guys jacking off around me as I feel my stomach clench into a coil, and my balls tighten. A blond curl flies into my eye, and I try to blow it out of the way, just for it to land right back where it was. I growl in frustration as I remove my hand from my nipple as quick as possible to swipe the offending tress off my forehead, and return to my mission of pinching and rubbing my hardened nub.

I shut my eyes as I return to my visualization. My hand trails up _his_ spine, inching toward that mess of a mystery colored mane. Just as my fingers are about to reach it, his head turns to pierce me with the most amazing green eyes I have ever seen.

"Fuuucckk," I growl out as my cock stiffens and releases. Spurts of cum hit my chest, hand and stomach.

After returning from sweet oblivion I clean up, well, we _all_ clean up, and I put back on my clothes.

I avoid shaking any hands as we say our goodbyes.

I walk out of the small hotel room, down to the casino level. Loose-limbed, and with a little swagger in my gait, I make my way out into the August Vegas heat. My mood is escalating with each step that I take. I create a visor over my eyes, and look up into the blazing sun with a small smile playing across my lips.

Was I looking forward to fucking Edward Cullen tomorrow? Hell fucking yeah!

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**AN: So if you guys have read any of my other stories you must think I am obsessed with sex for money, but I am seriously not. This story just kinda fell in my lap. When I witnessed this amazing couple, doing what they do (total research for Burnt Marshmallow's *wink*) and some of their interviews I fell in love with them and what I know of their story.**

**Don't let this story line, or the next couple chapters fool you – this is a love story, with some naughtiness of course. If you can't wait to find out who the real couple is I will let you know and maybe even tell you where you can find some of their stuff…but you have to ask for it!**

**Please review, they are very much appreciated, and thanks for reading.**


	2. Airplanes

**AN: I want to thank everyone for coming back after reading my first chapter and giving it a chance. I know that it is different, but there are too many other great Jas/Ed fic's out there right now, from very amazing authors, to make one of my own that would be compared to such talent. So I will stick to my own little porn world, and hopefully you will all join me for some fun. I want to remind you that this is not all smut, there will be a plot once the setting has been solidified, but of course, there will still be lemons aplenty.**

**Avoid your favorite fics from being pulled by petitioning for a NC-17 rating at http (colon) / / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net / s / 5734048 / 1 / Petition (remove all spaces)**

**Thank you, Cullen818 for your much needed beta skills. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters; also you should not be reading this story or any of my other ones for that matter if you are under 18 years old.**

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**Chapter 2 - EPOV**

_Huh?_

The flight attendant stands over me, jabbering non-stop. I waylay him by holding out my hand and smirking. His mouth snaps shut instantly. I don't know from which of my actions he is silenced, since he is now blushing quite profusely.

I make a show of taking out my earbuds, as I watch his blush deepen into a deep red hue. "It's okay, no one can ever tell that I have them on. Hairs too long." I say as I put my hands through the unruly mass of hair that never manages to stay down.

I didn't think it was possible, but his face turns almost purple now_. Is he breathing?_

"Did you need something?" I ask politely, when he continues to gawk.

"I was…just wondering if you needed…umm, anything else to drink or some more peanuts…or something." He stammers out.

"No, I'm good." I smile. I feel like adding "just like I told the other flight attendant that came around about ten minutes ago." But I suppress the urge to tease the already flustered attendant.

"Okay, umm…my name is Sebastian. Just call me if you need anything at all. _Anything_." He stresses the last word. The insinuation is not missed.

"Thank you, I'll remember that…Sebastian." When he turns in the aisle, I stare at his ass. _Cute… not really my type though_. I smile huge at that. Not my type? Is there such a thing? I like _all _types. I am not real picky when it came to screwing. I just like to fuck. Not that I couldn't be selective if I wanted, it's just that I like to try different things…with different people.

I love big daddies, hairy, baldies, emo's, twinks, nerds, preppies, burn outs. I love tattoos, piercings, clear flawless skin, and big dicks. I love black, white and anything in between. Age doesn't matter; I will do 'em, young and old.

No, Sebastian is definitely my type, but he just doesn't hold enough sex appeal or attraction that will make it worth the effort.

The one _type_ I don't like - girls. I don't like squishy tits and smelly pussies. I had been with a girl once and barely made it through the ordeal.

The thing is that I am a kinky bastard. I will try anything once, and most things I have tried I wouldn't mind repeating. I like bondage, toys, beads, spanking, watching others, people watching me, role playing…the list went on and on.

A girl just had been another new thing for me, and one I definitely never planned on repeating again.

I am considered a "bottom" in the gay community, but I am not strict. I've topped on more than one occasion and enjoyed it thoroughly. I just prefer to have a big cock nestled against my prostate, fucking me into oblivion…and the harder, the better.

One thing I didn't do is bareback, which is the only thing that concerned me during the negotiations on this movie deal. I was promised that a condom would be used at all times. I am aware of how much of a detriment that is against me in the world of pornography. Barebacking, is all the rage now. There are websites specifically dedicated to this particular brand of sex, specializing in highlighting idiots who like to play chicken with their lives.

Unfortunately, I have known too many people in my short life that paid the ultimate price as a result of this latest fad, and I am not willing to go down that road. Thankfully, they were willing to accept me with my only stipulation. It's not that I wouldn't mind condomless sex, but it would have to wait until I find the right guy, and I doubt that I will be finding that certain someone any time soon, especially considering the way my life is suddenly heading, and my new career path.

_Porn._ I've done a lot, but none for the whole world to view. I am not scared. I am fucking thrilled. I can't imagine a more ideal passage for my life. Having sex and being paid for it…it is just too good to be true. I am waiting for someone to jump in front of me and tell me I've been punked.

Guaranteeing me safe sex is what sealed the deal. Accepting the job has never been so much about the money. It is all about the high. There isn't as much money as people would think to be made in gay porn, at least for starting actors, like me.

Jasper Whitlock isn't a starter.

Once I found out who would be fucking me I went on-line to see if I could be attracted to him. If I could? What a fucking joke…the real question is…could I not be attracted? I know I am no slouch, I know men find me extremely desirable. But Jasper Whitlock…there is just no comparison.

Jasper is a twink's wet dream.

He has blond spiral curls that flow over and around his face. He has sky blue eyes that light up his entire face. His lips are perfect, shapely and supple. I love to kiss, so I can't wait to have my lips molded against them. I also can't wait to see how those lips look and feel encasing my dick. The thought produces a shiver that runs rabid through me, as I gaze at the image on the computer screen in front of me.

I had settled on a chaste picture of him, choosing one of him fully clothed since I have a young woman and her child seated next to me. The picture is from about a year ago, but according to his latest film he hasn't changed much. If anything he looks even hotter than this older image of him. He's grown a little more stubble now than what this picture shows, his chest a little fuller, which only makes him appear even manlier. Yes, Jasper Whitlock is all male…just like me. I am not a sissy fag, and I don't appreciate guys that are. Kinda like my buddy Sebastian over there. I look up into the aisle and see that he is staring at me, without shame. When he catches my eye, he looks at me expectantly. I ignore the silent request, and look back down at Jasper.

In the photo he is wearing a simple black and white _Led Zeppelin _t-shirt and dark jeans, sitting backward on a wooden chair. His knees are spread to accommodate the back of the chair, the four rungs that fasten from base to top of the back reveal, and at the same time, hide portions of his wide chest. His arms are folded on the top of the chair, while his chin rests on his forearms. He has a smirk on his face and a shine in his eyes. He looks…content.

I don't need a picture of Jasper to help conjure images of him nude. He isn't that easy to forget once you have laid your eyes on his physique. He has width to his chest and shoulders, but he isn't too beefy. He has just the right amount of muscle. His thighs and calves are thin but beautifully formed, and much to my surprise and extreme pleasure I found that he has soft, young looking feet. I had stared long and hard at his toes. Even though I have been with scores of men it was rare to find any that had feet that weren't hard on the eyes. I do have a strange obsession for nice feet, and even though I know it isn't in the script I visualize what it would be like to give Jasper Whitlock an orgasm just by sucking on his sweet toes, while he strokes his fat, hard cock.

Jasper has a long, thick dick and he knows how to use it. Watching him fuck is mesmerizing. I had sat hypnotized watching all his muscles move in sync with his rhythms, watching his dick twitch when he is close to his climax, and watching as his body and face flex as his pearly liquid covers the guy lucky enough to be underneath him.

I had studied what footage that I could find regarding the star of _Love at First Sight_. He will be pleased with my research. I was able to find a few things that it seemed like he enjoyed having done to him, and even though this is just a job I plan on rocking Jasper's world.

Tomorrow the wait will be over. I will finally know what it is like to be with him. I cover up a groan with a cough, conspicuously adjusting the massive boner that awakened in my jeans.

I look back at Sebastian weighing my available options. The war between, taking care of myself, waiting it out, or asking Sebastian for a small favor battles in my head. In the end, it is a close one, with one winning out slightly over the other, because well, waiting it out had never had been really been a consideration.

I incline my head toward Sebastian giving him the silent signal to meet me at the back toilet. It is fairly obvious that Sebastian is also a bottom, so my chance at falling into the "mile high club" will have to wait for another time. This time it would just be about alternating blowjobs, which I am perfectly fine with. I have plenty of years to get someone up in the air that I can truly enjoy, maybe even one I will remember. I have fucked so many times, with so many people; I can barely remember one encounter without pieces of other instances interfering with my memory.

There are a few guys that I have had relationships with and, of course, remembered the details of those occasions. It was easy to recollect those images without others interrupting, because when I am in a relationship I am completely monogamous. I will never cheat or stray on my partner once a commitment has been established. A relationship does not encourage me to walk around blind though. I definitely look around, and appreciate the view of the available meat that was out on display, but I would never go home with anyone else.

The few relationships that I once had only lasted, at most, a couple of months before we broke it off amicably. I don't avoid relationships, I just don't go looking for them, and I would never enter into one lightly, seeing as I know what I will be giving up.

Which reminds me…I have a hard-on to get rid of.

I stroll toward the back of the plane where Sebastian stands in waiting. _Sometimes_ _this is just too fucking easy._ Where is the challenge in this? The guy is already panting and I haven't even touched him yet. I sigh internally, losing some of my motivation. Hopefully, this guy can hammer out a quick hummer, and I will be back in my seat, taking a nap, in ten.

Once we get into the bathroom I opt to get the balls rolling myself. I take the lead, shoving him against the wall, while going right for the button of his black dress pants, releasing it and lowering his zipper. My mouth seeks his immediately. His lips are pliant, almost too much so. There is no shaping of the thin pink skin, making the kiss sloppy and unappetizing. My lips mashed against his instead of molding to them.

In the hopes of not spoiling this less than memorable experience any further, I travel down to his neck, nipping along the tender skin of his jugular, and sucking on his lobe, as I palm his dick through his little boy panties. Oh, and I do love cute undies. Immediately dropping to my knees to get a better look I grimace at the color… pink.

_For godsakes._

I massage him over the cotton, shaping his cock through the "I just want to remind you I am gay" colored material, pre-cum soaking a little spot at the tip. It doesn't take long for me to realize that I have a noisy one here. His moans vibrate the already shaky room. Goddamn, it feels like they are echoing. I just know that every passenger on this goddamn plane is going to be staring at us when we leave this literal shithole.

"Look Sebastian, you are going to have to shut the fuck up if you want me to finish this." I admonish. I look up at him to see that he has placed both of his hands over his mouth. It is almost laughable.

"Can you be quiet?" I say softer…nicer. He doesn't remove his hands; instead choosing to nodhis head vigorously in response.

As I pull his panties down just enough to free his straining erection, I catch a strong whiff of what suspiciously smells like Drakkar and sweat…ugh.

Good hygiene isn't always a necessity, but damn, it is pretty fucking important. His half-hearted attempt at cleanliness left me wanting, to say the least. Thank god he is groomed. I'm not sure that if he had gone full bush I would be able to play this out.

I lick the salty liquid at the tip of his thin but long cock. I don't waste time sucking him in fully, while I swirl my tongue along the underside of his shaft. I reach below to grasp his balls into my hand, gently rolling them around my fingertips.

Briefly I think that this could be a really good time to practice my technique for my upcoming debut in front of the camera, but decide against it after I have Sebastian fully in my mouth, with that glaring aroma filling my nostrils. At this point, I just want to get him off and get the hell out of here. I am not interested anymore, but I am not a tease either. So I take him deep, swallowing around him. In no time at all he twitches and blows inside my mouth. I gulp down his release and suck him once to swallow any remaining juices left behind. I pull his pants up and stand in one swift motion. I'm about to thank Sebastian for nothing when he quickly drops to his knees in front of me. I attempt to pull away as he yanks clumsily at my belt, but we are in a five by five cell that seems to be shrinking every other second, which doesn't allow me to find the additional real estate that I desire.

"Man, I am totally cool. This isn't necessary." I beseech.

He looks up with worry etched in every line of his face. "You won't let me return the favor?" I look down in his hopeful face, not even remembering why the hell I invited him in here in the first place. Thoughts of Jasper are long gone as I stare at Sebastian. "You won't be sorry." He promises.

He receives my silence as acquiesce, and rips down my pants, anxious to get to my member. He finally manages to free my flaccid cock from my denim and Gap briefs. He looks at my junk, slightly disappointed that I am not ready for him. With a look of resolve he takes my softened dick in his mouth and sucks hard and fast, licking my balls on the down strokes.

Damn, I have to admit that he is good at this.

"Oh fuck yeah." I whisper, as I finally feel my dick start to harden. I try to weave my hands though his limp blond hair, but it's too thin, so I just settle for grasping onto his head. I slowly move my hips in and out of his mouth in a fluid motion. I roll my hips while I thrust, gaining more pleasure from the minute undulation. He stops moving and hollows his cheeks, allowing me to fuck his mouth superbly. I watch my dick thrusting in and out, enjoying the sensations of getting pretty decent fellatio. I close my eyes and let my head lull back, drowning in the feelings from the burning and tightening in my lower abdomen.

The picture behind my eyelids is that of a different story than what is actually taking place now. I envision myself lying on a strange bed with Jasper bending over me, wrapping his pretty mouth around my throbbing cock, looking at me with those gorgeous baby blues. _Holy hell._

Since I made the deal to be in this movie with Jasper I only allowed myself to fantasize about him a couple of times, and that was in the very beginning. The reason I had to stop is that the idea of being with him got me off way too fast, and I liked to savor the act. The few times I visualized Jasper and I engaged in any sexual position I shot my load hard and embarrassingly fast. This time will be no fucking exception as my body jerks and I empty into his mouth without warning. He takes his time cleaning me up, laving it with his tongue repeatedly. Watching him do that makes my erection instantly diminish.

Deciding that his ministrations are taking way too long, I bend to pull up my own pants. "Well…thanks for all that. You were right. You were really good." I mumble, unsure that my statement is actually accurate. I don't think I was sex-aggerating, but I really can't remember anything he had done after I had let Jasper consume my mind. It could have been a chick with plastic double D's sucking me off, and the result would have been the same.

I believe he probably really did give good head, but after it is all said and done I wish I would have just beat it myself and saved us both the awkwardness that always ensues after a scene like this.

He gazes at me intently waiting for me to say more. I finish fastening my belt and turn to the door. His smug smile left his face, and he looks confused. "Do you want to exchange numbers or something? I do have a layover…"

"Sorry, I'm busy." I say curtly.

"Well, maybe some other time…"

"Sorry, I'm busy." I repeat. I sigh. "Look, it was fun, but that's it. I am starting a new career and I don't need any…complications right now, and that includes any type of relationship." I give him a quick peck on the lips in consolation, and head out the door before he can offer an argument.

When I walk out, I look around warily. I peruse the passengers, and see that it doesn't appear that anyone had noticed…well, accept for that guy, I note as my eyes fall upon a male that is sitting next to the room I had just occupied. He looks at me disgustedly, so I make a show of licking the tips of my fingers languorously while winking at him. He quickly looks away with a blush on his face.

I quietly make it back to my seat and see that the little girl I am sitting next to has fallen asleep, and I am assuming her mother, has her face buried in a magazine. She doesn't even look up as I regain my seat and fasten my seatbelt. I open back up my laptop and stare at the picture of Jasper for an unknown number of minutes before I pass out from my post-orgasmic haze.

^*^

_Is this how many people were going to be watching me fuck?_

I walk around the noisy movie set as a large number of people stride in and out of the crowded studio. I look around to see a bed with well over five cameras pointing directly at it. Two of them angled from the ceiling.

_Wow._

I am jostled from behind before someone mumbles a quick apology and keeps moving. I quickly glance to see who it is. The boy's attention is diverted elsewhere, not watching where he is walking himself.

_Emmett McCarty._ One of the co-stars of this production. I have seen him previously, and that boy could fuck. I know that I won't be getting a piece of him on set, but maybe afterward we can get together…

"Edward! There you are!" I recognize Felix, from the negotiations, approaching me. "How was your flight?" He says grabbing my hand in a healthy handshake.

"It was…interesting." I say with my famous crooked grin.

He smiles knowingly. "Well, it's a little bit of a trek from Chicago, so I am glad that you were able to make the flight…bearable." He says with his own smirk. He pats me on the shoulder as he leads me away. 'Well, c'mon…let me show you around and introduce you."

I walk with him blindly, adrenaline starting to course through me.

_He _is here...somewhere_._

Felix shows me where I can find my "dressing room", which is mainly just a closet with a mirror and chair in it. We go over the series of sets, and what will be expected of me. He introduces me to everyone that we pass in our wake. He introduces me to the director, Tanya who I have heard many accolades about.

These two have made a name for themselves in the industry for not only being fantastic at what they do, but being great to work for, which from what I understand is a hard thing to find in this business. Most of the executive staff treat the actors like scum, but from all that I had found these two are ideal bosses.

There are rumors that the two of them are a couple, but I don't know for sure and didn't feel comfortable asking at this point, so I just watch their interaction silently. I glance around as they discuss lighting for tomorrow's session.

That is when I spot him. He is seated on a cushioned bay window, staring blankly outside. He appears to be deep in thought as he leans back against the wall, with one leg dangling off of the side of the seat. The other one is bent on the cushion, with his arm propped up on it loosely. The sunlight shines through, spotlighting him. He looks too fucking ethereal to be human.

The rays from the sun slices through his golden curls, making them look soft and supple. His eyes shut briefly soaking it up, and I can feel the heat radiate off of his body from across the room. I want to be wrapped up in that. I want to be lying on that cushion, across his chest. I want to stare out the window with him, content on just lying there…

I am slightly shaken. I don't know where these thoughts of him are coming from. These aren't sexual feelings…hell yes, the attraction was there in bucket loads, but what I had been just feeling was deeper than that. I attempt to rid myself of these ridiculous thoughts. Jesus Christ, I haven't even spoken to the guy yet.

As if reading my mind, I hear Tanya calling after the godly creature. "Jas, come here and meet Edward."

His head snaps in my direction and pierces me with those beautiful eyes. He starts to get up, but hesitates. He breaks our eye contact, looking out the window once more before he gets up and saunters over. His eyes flicker to me but remain steady on the two other people accompanying me.

When he stands before me, it takes all my fucking control not to wrap my arms around him. _What. The. Fuck._

I am going to make a royal ass out of myself if I don't gather my shit together.

He watches Tanya intently, waiting for the introduction. Why doesn't he look at me? Is he displeased? Everyone I had ever met said that I looked even better in person. _What is wrong?_

"Jas, I am sure you recognize Edward, right?"

_Look at me._

Finally, his eyes meet mine and I can't be mistaken by what I see, his darkened eyes are hot and restrained…fucking _restrained_.

_He wants me too._

The revelation shoots pure heat right through me, incapacitating me momentarily.

He lets out a deep breath that he must have been holding. He extends his hand. "Hey, I am Jasper. It's nice to meet you." His voice is level and monotone, withholding all emotion, attempting to create a facade of cool indifference that does not fool me.

Tanya snickers and looks at Felix with her eyebrows raised. _Apparently not fooling them either._

Felix sighs audibly. "Well, let's see if you guys are going to have any chemistry."

I only allow myself to think for a split second. I didn't want there to be any hesitation. I want to feel worthy of this chance that they had taken on me, but mostly I want, no I _need_, to impress Jasper, and I refuse to examine why that is.

I walk the two steps that it takes to come chest to chest with him. On a complete side note, I am happy to see that we are almost identical in height, but right now all I want to think about is that I am finally going to have my lips on that sweet fucking mouth of his. I don't waste any time fulfilling that dream. My lips meet his in a fiery kiss. He responds immediately by bringing his hand up, and diving it roughly into my hair as the kiss turns too fucking hot, too fucking fast. Our lips open and tongues explore the strange and new terrain. The sensors on my tongue speed into overdrive as I taste Jasper's delicious nectar for the first time.

I vaguely hear Felix say, "Yeah, yeah, you were right."

Tanya laughs happily as I continue to devour his mouth, putting more into that kiss than I ever intended or thought was possible.

* * *

**AN: Thanks again for reading! Please let me know what you think so far. Are you liking E or J better?**


	3. Vegas

**AN: This is the chapter that kept on going. Chapter's will hopefully not be this long in the future.**

**I wanted to let everyone know that if my stories are ever to get pulled that I will be posting them on fanfictionfrenzy (dot) com, which was created by my very own beta. The stories aren't on there yet but they will be shortly.**

**Speaking of QueenBeta Cullen818, she rocks. Check out her profile for all of her awesomeness. She has several really great blogs she's teamed up with other great authors on and she has got some of the best Jasper/Bella stories out there. I didn't give this to her with enough time and I am going out of town for a couple of days, so I posted this without her, so please overlook any minor grammar/punctuation discrepancies. I will make any changes to this chapter once I have returned.**

**I do not own twilight or any of its characters. This story is for adults only. **

* * *

**Chapter 3 – JPOV**

_Holy fuck!_

He tastes so fucking delicious.

"Okay you two, break it up." Felix says, exasperated.

It takes everything I have to pull away from him. I avoid eye contact and keep my gaze fixed on _Love at First Sight's_ two executives. Tanya has her arms crossed with a satisfied smirk on her face. However, Felix looks slightly…disturbed.

I know what has him looking so distraught. Our faces are probably red, our lips are probably swollen, and I'd venture to guess that he can tell our hearts are beating wildly, based on the evidence of us panting like dogs in heat.

Felix stares, before his eyes flicker down on me, and then on Edward. "Well, Jesus fucking Christ Tan, they're going to cum as soon as the scene fucking starts." I know there is no use in attempting to hide my erection, and apparently, bedhead over here has the same problem in his pants.

I glance over at Edward to see that his cheeks indeed have a pink tint to them, his lips are swollen, and that beautiful mess of thick, soft hair is scattered in wonderful disarray. His hair looks like autumn. Autumn brings with it hues of red, orange, and brown. All of which you can find in Edward's hair. It is nice to finally have that mystery solved.

His eyes flicker to mine, intending on just a simple glimpse, but when he catches me looking at him he turns those green gems on me, staring straight through me. I would give anything at this moment to know what he is thinking.

It is obvious that he is attracted to me, but it doesn't look like that is all those emerald's are trying to say. It takes all of about three seconds for him to level me with that crooked grin that he shows off for the camera, and like everything else about Edward Cullen, it is even more dazzling in real life.

He looks every bit of the model that he is…perfection.

"For fucksakes already,Tan?" Felix says bewildered watching us stare at each other, looking to Tanya for some assistance.

She giggles. "Okay boys, you do realize that your session has got to last at least fifteen minutes and we are going to need at least four different positions…right?"

He breaks eye contact first, looking interestingly at Tanya. This is his first time doing this; of course he needs to know the drill. I tear my gaze away from him, and stare at my feet trying to regain control over my bodily reactions…and if I am honest, my emotional reaction, as well.

Tanya relays tomorrow's events to Edward as I dwell on my startling reaction to seeing Edward across the room for the first time. I had been waiting impatiently all day for him to arrive so I could get a better look at him, when I heard Tanya say his name my head had whipped around to find the person unknowingly responsible for my discontent all day. I think my heart stopped when I first saw him. I had to find some control before I made a fool of myself. It took every bit of effort not to pounce on him, and the closer I got, the harder the task became. I felt my control slipping. Felix was heaven sent when he had asked about the chemistry, allowing me to taste Edward as my body had been begging for all along, without making a complete jackass out of myself.

"Felix, I think we are going to have to put these two tigers in the same cage tonight, so they don't waste our time tomorrow. It'll be good for Jas to give Edward a little lesson on what needs to be done." Tanya says, thoughtfully.

"I agree." Felix responds, and moves a step closer to us. He lowers his voice, like he's telling us a secret. "This is the deal boys: you have all night to get over this…" He pauses looking for the correct word.

"Infatuation." Tanya finishes for him. _Ugh_. How fucking embarrassing. In my whole career I have never had to be given this fucking lecture.

But my humiliation is forgotten when I realize what he is saying. I will have Edward all to myself tonight. Not only that, I am being ordered to fuck his brains out. _Fuckin A_.

Felix holds up a finger, as he continues, "And I don't care how you go about doing that. I am just telling you right now I expect two good money shots tomorrow. So don't be spilling it all night." He looks at me. "Teach him restraint, Jas."

I am known well for not giving up the cum shot too soon, and apparently Felix thinks it is important to impart that lesson on Edward.

He finishes his speech and they both walk away with Felix tucking Tanya's arm in between his chest and arm.

"Are they…?" Edward muses.

"I have no idea." I answer, knowing where his question is going without him having to finish it.

Uncomfortably, I stare at the floor, rocking back and forth on my heels, not knowing where to go from here. I have never been so nervous, and I have no idea why I am. I can feel Edward staring into my skull, and for the life of me I can't pick up my head. I am sure that he is wondering if I am unstable.

"My bag…" He trails off as he points in a direction off to the corner of the studio.

Deciding to put an end to my intolerable behavior, I finally look at him. There is a question in his eyes, and he looks confused and sad. I am sending him mixed signals, I know, and I plan on rectifying that, but I just need a moment to myself first.

"Oh sure, you probably want to put your bag away and wash up or something. You had a long flight." I concede. _Chicago_. He lives so far away.

Why does that bother me?

Before distraction ensues, making me demented in front of him yet again, I thrust a card into his hand. "Umm…here is a key. It is on the Fifth floor, room 503. The elevators are just to the left. I'll be here whenever you get done."

It is his turn to look down at the toes of his Converse, and I selfishly take that moment to openly gawk at him. "You're not coming…" He trails off again. Why is this so hard? It is obvious that he thinks that I am turning him down, and that is the _last thing_ I am thinking about doing. I need to let him know that before he walks away from me.

Gathering courage, I say seductively, "Not yet, darlin', but we both will be _real_ soon." I manage a wink.

He graces me with a hesitant smile, and I just want to pull him into my arms and show him how much exactly I desire him, but my supply of bravery has momentarily been spent, so I turn on unsteady legs and walk away.

I make it into the restroom within the studio, and splash cold water on my face. After I am done drying my face I brace my arms on both sides of the sink, supporting my upper body weight.

I can't believe that I am still hard as a rock. I want Edward entirely way too much to take him to bed right now. It is going to take all my infamous restraint not to blow my load by just kissing that glorious mouth of his.

The pull I felt for him right away was immediate and powerful, but what astounded me more was the _kind_ of pull. I had felt the familiar feelings like lust and attraction, but mixed in with that, were some foreign ones that I can't readily explain.

_Love at First Sight._

I snort. The words just flash in my mind without warning. I had just said this morning, in that fucked up interview, that I don't believe in that shit, and I am still standing by my words. Love at First Sight? What a joke. This movie is a prime example of how idiotic the concept is, utterly mocking the stupid cliché. I have already fallen "in love at first sight" two times and am supposed to do it again tomorrow. This thing I have with Edward is just a temporary addiction that I plan on getting my fill of tonight.

I am startled when I feel weight on my back, and a chubby pushing into my ass. _He can't be that fast._ I snap my head up to find Emmett standing behind me.

I hope I hide my disappointment well.

"Hey, here you are. I was wondering where you went. Why don't we go take a "nap" before we all go out tonight." He swirls his enlarged cock suggestively into my backside, and even though I didn't bottom very often the idea of submitting as I just enjoyed the sensations sound like a wonderful idea. He presses his dick into me harder, trying to penetrate two sets of denim and cotton. I groan, needing a release so fucking bad, already forgetting all about the orgasm I had only a few hours ago.

I unconsciously circle my hips against him, searching for sweet relief, but when my eyes return to the mirror, I see Emmett standing behind me and not the person truly responsible for the predicament that I am in. I sigh heavily.

Emmett can certainly give me what I physically need, but why have a hamburger when you crave a steak? The idea briefly enters my mind that Emmett can take care of my needs quickly so I don't cum with Edward as soon as I get inside of him, but the thought sounds so unappealing, that it is borderline repulsive.

Instead, I move away from him, and make excuses. "Sorry, Em. Edward's here."

"So???" He says belligerently.

I search for a way to say this without losing some of the respect that I gained in my profession, so avoiding all mention of the lecture I received from Felix, I simply shrug. "Well, Tanya and Felix put him in my room for the night."

"Why???" Now he looks perplexed and disgusted at the same time, and that makes me slightly angry. What does he have against Edward?

"Umm…they want me to teach him restraint." Emmett looks like he is ready to say something that might make me even more irritated with him so I remind him quickly, "This is his first time Em."

"So…_what?_…Are they telling you to fuck him all night?" His face turns red, as he tries to control his temper. I nod my head slowly, watching the emotions play across his face. He turns away with fists clenched. "That is BULLSHIT!"

"Em, we have seen this done before." I attempt to placate him, not really understanding what is wrong with him in the first place. If he is looking for a fuck buddy tonight I can probably find five willing participants as soon as I walk out this door.

Emmett is a strikingly gorgeous bisexual, and everyone in our little makeshift studio has personally watched Emmett fuck. They would stand in line all day at the opportunity to have a piece of him. His choices are limitless, so I can't understand this mood he is in right now.

It is true that Emmett and I hook up whenever we are in the same town, but damn, it isn't like I am the only one that would suffice. "Well, how long is he going to be here?" He asks haughtily.

"I don't know Emmett, I've probably said five words to him since he's been here. Give me time to have an actual conversation with him." I say flustered by Emmett's sudden and unprovoked inquisition.

"Fine." Emmett huffs, and stalks out of the bathroom.

_What the hell? _

I look back to the mirror and study my image one more time before I go looking for Edward. I give myself a pep talk, and send up a little prayer to anyone that will listen, to help me get through this with some semblance of pride.

As soon as I walk out, I see Emmett stroking the hair of one of the "sound" guys. _Nice_. See, he found a replacement quick enough. I snicker at that, but it is quickly wiped away when he turns his gaze toward me. He continues to watch me as he licks the earlobe of the guy he is leaning into. I stare, transfixed, as I try to figure out what is going on here. It almost seems like…

"Hey." My head snaps to the side to see Edward all washed up, changed and fucking adorable. Adorable? Where am I coming up with this shit?

He smiles impishly, as I openly take him all in. I can't keep the huge grin off my face, or contain my giddiness at the thought of being with Edward _off-set_ for the rest of the day. It is a gift that I wholly never expected to be blessed with.

"Hey." I smile happily.

"So, are you going to show me around Vegas?" He smiles back. We look like a couple of lovesick fools, staring at each other with these huge ass grins on our faces. I feel like I am twelve again, and for today, I am not going to fucking mind.

So like a kid with his first crush, I grab Edward's hand to lead him out the door. Remembering what I had been doing before Edward arrived, I glanced back at Emmett who is now staring at us intently, as the guy has his face buried in Emmett's neck.

_Strange. _

I tentatively wave goodbye, as I walk out of the studio with Edward's hand in mine. We saunter out into the scorching heat, and I loosen my grip on his hand, not knowing how he handles PDA. He looks over at me to gauge my reaction, but his grip remains intact. I give him a wink of understanding, and tighten my hold once again.

As we are walking hand in hand I can feel the stares from all directions. Queers aren't as rare here, so most of the guys are keeping their eyes to themselves, unless they're interested. I note that most of the stares are from women.

I am well aware that there are just as many girls into male-on-male porn as there are men. I am recognized by both sexes equally. I also know that for the people that don't recognize us that Edward and I are both extremely attractive.

I chuckle. We should have brought some flyers for the movie. Edward and I are a walking billboard for _Love at First Sight_. We might as well have our pictures painted on one of these tour buses, for the way that we are attracting attention…just simply by holding hands, laughing and smiling at each other.

"Damn, is it always this hot this time of year?" Edward wipes his brow.

"It's always hot in August. I think Tanya and Felix got some awesome deals on the rooms and studio for coming during this time, but we can walk through the casinos as we make our way down the strip so we can get a reprieve from the heat."

"Well, aren't you a little strategist?" He says playfully, as he pokes me in the ribs with his free hand. He steps in front of me agilely, and presses his lips to mine, stopping us in our tracks, and kissing me for the whole world to see. I groan against his lips, but he backs away as soon as I am getting warmed up. He sees the desire in my eyes, and then laughs. "Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. You're just so damn magnificent."

"Oh yeah?" I take his shirt in my fists, shove him into the wall of the Venetian, and smash my crotch against his in one quick motion, stunning him slightly. "I don't know if I am going to be able to wait until tonight." I whisper against his mouth, the warm panting of his breath fans across my face. I release him as quickly as I had pinned him against the building. I hear him mutter a breathless "tease" before he takes my hand again, and steers me toward the nearest air conditioning.

XXXXX

We had to be in the Flamingo's Steakhouse46 restaurant in a half hour for a "meet and greet" with some of the local gay clubs during a family style dinner arrangement. They only reserved the space for two hours so we have to make sure we are on time.

I let Edward go up to our room first to change and get ready, because I didn't trust my libido to go up there with him.

This afternoon had been unforgettable. Edward was crazy fun. He had bought a disposable camera, and as he dragged me down the stretch of world famous road, we filled the roll of film with numerous snapshots of the strip's sights. I took snapshots of Edward in front of Mirage's Volcano, and Treasure Island's Boat. He took pictures of me at the top of the Stratosphere, and in front of the Bellagio's water display. We gave the camera to strangers in order to get pictures of us both in the gondola at the Venetian and in front of the Lion Habitat at MGM.

We had never stopped holding hands, and had a few stolen chaste kisses. I learned a lot about Edward today. You can tell that he has a zest for life. He always is smiling, talking and asking questions. I learned a lot of his likes and dislikes. Conversations were light at times and deep at others. He told me about his family, his life in Chicago, and his former relationships.

He made it no secret that he got around. Edward was most likely not a relationship kinda guy. He likes variety. He said that he doesn't go out all too often, but when he does he is always looking for someone different.

He also paid attention to me, as I spoke, looking genuinely interested in everything that I had to say. His eyes never left mine, gazing at me intently as I told him more about myself. He soaked it in, and asked me to expand on several things I thought he wouldn't have been interested in. I found that we have a lot in common, and the things that we didn't complimented each other.

I am a little nervous about tonight. I know more about him, from this afternoon, than I have ever learned about anybody I have ever fucked before…on or off set. Normally, it is just a mutual need for a release, or the fact that we were both being paid for it.

As Edward continued to converse with me, I felt unwelcome feelings of affection… and caringwell up inside of me. I don't want to care about Edward Cullen, but only for the fact that it is obvious that our paths are moving in different directions, and that he lives so far away. Both of those points are deal breakers for me. If the circumstances were different, I would definitely want to pursue these emotions that are flowing through me right now, but things being as they are, it is of no use to dwell on unrealistic dreams.

It was nice to see whatever had plagued us when we had first saw each other was long gone. The shyness and awkwardness quickly disappeared, as if we were long lost friends that are in the process of getting reacquainted, we jumped into the roles of best friends almost immediately.

Edward enters the studio and as I watch him stroll toward me, I check him out. His autumn colored hair is a perfect mess, and he is freshly shaven. He is wearing an untucked dark gray button down shirt that hugs his chest and black pants, he looks utterly mouthwatering. He halts when one of the stage hands stops to say something to him. He smiles down at her, and it makes my knees weak. I try to watch discreetly as his mouth moves saying words I can't hear, but I smile nonetheless, because he is.

"So, how is he?"

"Huh?" I say ineloquently, as I turn to Emmett, who is also staring at Edward, in a forced nonchalant kind of way. His hands are in his pockets, but I can tell that they are balled into fists.

"Is he a good fuck?"

"I don't know. We haven't made it that far."

Neither one of us were looking at each other, both of our eyes still on the topic of our discussion, but that comment compels Emmett's head to snap around, as his golden eyes fall on me.

"What do you mean? What have you been doing for the last five hours then?" I'd like to know when it became his fucking business.

"I was just showing him around Vegas. It's his first time here." Emmett stares hard at me for a moment, and then decides it is insignificant, shrugging it off.

"Oh, that's too bad you had to get stuck with that deal. You would have thought they could have forced him on someone else."

I am about to tell Emmett that he wasn't forced on me, but I am interrupted. "Hey guys." Edward says suavely. His eyes flicker over me lustfully, before moving onto Emmett. Edward holds out his hand. "I don't think we've had the pleasure yet. I've heard a lot about you." He says with a wink.

Yes, Edward is a big flirt.

Emmett looks confused, before he turns a friendly smile on Edward. "Hey, its Eddy right? I wish I could say the same, I haven't heard anything at all about you."

My eyebrows raise instantly, as I stare, astounded, at nothing in particular. I glimpse at Edward to see that his expression hasn't changed at all. "No, I guess you wouldn't have since everyone who does know me calls me Edward. Right…Jasper?" He says tearing his stare away from Emmett to look at me with my favorite crooked smile on his face.

"I didn't realize you and _Jas_ were such good friends." He says with a hint of malice. There are very few people that call me Jas, and Emmett is not normally one of them.

Okay, for some reason Emmett has an issue with Edward. Emmett is usually a laid back guy so it more than surprises me with his over abundance of self confidence that he has a problem with Edward.

It is apparent that the scene with Edward and I tomorrow will positively be the highlight of this movie, but surely there is enough room in this industry for the both of them. Edward may be the bigger hit in this movie, but Em won't be losing any future income on account of Edward. Emmett's animosity is completely unnecessary.

I want to diffuse the situation, but I am trying to figure out how to do that without taking sides and inadvertently fueling Emmett's unwarranted fire. Edward attempts to grab my hand, but I stuff it into my pocket. It's not that I didn't want to…in fact, touching Edward is about the only thing that I want to do, but I don't want to inspire more wrath from Emmett. I see that my actions are noted by Edward. A look of hurt crosses his stunning face. An unknown emotion sweeps through me, and all of a sudden it doesn't matter what the hell Emmett's problem is. I pull my hand out of my pocket, but instead of clutching Edward's hand I put my arm around his waist, I move in close, pressing the side of my body against his, and whisper against his cheek. "Don't go away, sexy. I will be right back."

In an effort to remain impartial, I walk past Emmett hitting him lightly on the ass with a smirk. "You be good." I wink and take off to the room for my turn at getting ready for dinner.

I start the shower, where Edward had just come from. I strip quickly and enter the steamy stream. I don't feel guilty as I pick up Edward's shampoo and hold it to my nose, invading his privacy, and I don't feel guilty as I fill my nostrils with the scent of his soap before I use it to lather my body, I pay close attention to my cock, massaging the length with the scent of Edward. It makes me feel like he is the one washing me…touching me. When my cock turns semi-hard I have to let the fantasy go. I already came once today for "the people". Whenever I came on film it is for "the people"…meaning the camera, the fans, the watchers.

My contribution to society's gay.

I very rarely masturbate when I am not in presence of the people. It seems selfish, and a waste really, to enjoy an orgasm without anyone filming or taking pictures at the very least. It is even more foolish at the moment to give up the money maker, especially when it is depended upon tomorrow.

Abstaining from finishing the job is a specialty of mine. It's not that I can't find pleasure quickly. I can cum just as fast as the next twenty-one year old when I had the correct inspiration. I have no doubt that me and "copper and bronze" are going to be dropping a load pretty quickly the first time. I will welcome the relief from being tortured all day; all the little touches and kisses, teasing each other endlessly.

It will be the second round where I will begin teaching Edward one of the biggest skills in our trade…stamina. It will help him with his journey in the business. If I was destined to only have this one night with Edward it is the least that I can do for him, it will be an equal trade since he is going to help me in the opposite way, by giving me new material to put in my catalog of quick jerk off moments. I will use the experiences that I learn tonight for when I am instructed to cum on cue.

I quickly dress, taking little care with my hair in order to race down to Edward. I didn't want to waste any of more of this day being alone. I was alone enough already.

When I jump down the last three stairs in my haste to get back to Edward, I enter the studio, trying to locate him immediately. I find that head of hair easily enough. He is leaning against a table with his ass on the ledge, feet outstretched, and crossed at the ankle. His arms are lying across his chest casually as he speaks to James.

James is standing close…too close. He leans in further, and whispers something to Edward. Edward smiles in response to whatever James is saying, and as he does his eyes flicker to mine and his smile vanishes. For a split second I think he is disappointed that I interrupted his flirtation with James, but the look in his eyes told me otherwise. He gazes up and down my frame, before an even bigger and brighter smile than what he gave to James, flashes across his features.

He doesn't take his eyes off of me, as James continues to talk to him. Finally, he must have noticed Edward's preoccupation and glances over his shoulder. He smiles wickedly as he turns to face me. I have no other option, but to join their conversation.

I come up next to them, and James swings his arm around my shoulder. "I was just telling Edward about our scene in _Cum Home_." Shit. _Cum Home_ is a film I did with James two years ago. James had played a homeless fellow that fucked several guys before he found one that took him in. In the production, I was also homeless, a guitar playing nomad. In my scene James fucked a "businessman" in an alley, while I jacked off in the corner watching them. After the businessman was done with James, the guy threw him a few coins and left. James stashed the pittance away, and then came over to me where we flirted, and then he let me fuck him. I wasn't the one who ended up with James at the end of that program, but I was the only guy that topped James in that film. I always thought that is what caused my career to skyrocket.

James was very well known by that time. Being a few years older than me, he entered the industry a couple of years before I did, and even though he is nearing the dreaded age of twenty-five he is still sought after, but he isn't usually the lead anymore, mainly taking on the smaller parts.

I consider James a friend. We keep in touch via Facebook and email. I know he has made some good investments with the money he has earned through porn, and will not be lacking for anything once he is either voluntarily or involuntarily removed from the spotlight of gay porn's hottest stars.

I also invested well, but James is one step ahead of me, by already figuring out life after this gig. He has plans to be an architect and has already enrolled in a prestigious college to acquire the degree that will fulfill his dreams. One of those dreams involved building community centers and playgrounds in destitute and impoverished areas. James has a good heart and a lot of money to back it up. I wish I was that noble, but I am the first to admit that I am nobody's hero.

"What were you telling him?" I ask suspiciously, knowing that at that time, I had been quite clumsy and embarrassingly fast…most of my reactions to our first encounter were heartfelt since I had only had sex a few times before that. I was also familiar with gay porn, so I couldn't believe I was actually with one of the objects of several jack off sessions as a younger teen.

"Nothing much." He winks at Edward conspiratorially. _Ugh!_ I didn't need these two hitting it off. James is a constant tease, and I can't even imagine the torment that these two could put me through. "I couldn't, it didn't last long enough." They both let out a healthy guffaw.

_Jesus Christ._

I shake out of James half-embrace, and start to walk away. "We're going to be late." I mumble. It takes about five seconds to hear someone running behind me, and then circle his arms around my waist. I stumble as I try to keep walking with him latching onto me, so I stop before I topple over, and just stand there in a full blown pout.

"He was just teasin' baby." Edward buries his head in my neck, and breathes deep. "You look so fucking hot." He exclaims huskily. _Hot damn_. My cock awakens instantly, at the feel of Edward's hot breath along my neck. I put on my blue/gray v-neck cashmere sweater, knowing that it highlighted my eyes, just for this reaction. "I cannot wait to get you back to _our_ room." He growls into my ear. I groan as I lay my head back on his forehead.

"C'mon you two." I open my eyes, but keep my head in its current position, because Edward nuzzling his nose into my hair feels so fucking good. James has an equal measure of both shock and concern in his expression. _Fuck._

_I am getting concerned too. _I want to say.

I have to start schooling my actions when Edward and I are in public. The only good and bad thing I have going for me is that after tonight this isn't going to be an issue any longer.

I scheduled my flight to leave early tomorrow afternoon, almost immediately after the shoot. I absolutely love Vegas, but after a few days in Sin City I beg for the solace of my own home. I found out today that Edward would be departing at almost the same time.

I start to feel a tightening in my chest as I try to figure out the next time our paths will possibly cross again. Pushing the thought aside, with promises of dealing with it when the time comes, I put my hand behind my back for him to grasp onto, and he does.

I check out James again, to see his eyebrows rise in question at my strange behavior. I choose to ignore it.

_Fuck it. Let them all think what they want._

Without taking my eyes off of Edward I raise our joined hands and kiss the back of his hand, wordlessly leading him out of the room. As we are passing James I avoid looking at him, but I can see from his peripheral vision that he shakes his head slowly and sighs.

Tanya, Felix and all of the actors sit at a rectangular table enjoying a feast of meats, cheeses, fruit, and a variety of breads and rolls. The conversation seems light and flirty as everyone participates in the banter. Because Edward and I are sitting next to each other, and we are sitting across from Emmett and James, I avoid any extra eye contact with Edward.

I definitely do not want to destroy the atmosphere, and I don't need a lecture that the whole gang would join in on, so I do my best to ignore the gorgeous man sitting next to me.

It is hard since we constantly bump elbows as we eat, or brush hands as we both go for our water glasses at the same time. It becomes especially difficult when his hand lands on my thigh. That one can hardly be called an accident or a mistake. I suppress a groan as his hand travels up the length of my thigh, to my hip, and then mashes it over my groin.

_No subtlety there._

Then he has to go and exaggerate a big fucking yawn. I watch the variety of expressions that fall upon the table. What is funny is that everyone is looking at me as if I had faked the yawn instead of Edward. James looks at me worriedly, Emmett with irritation, and down the table, Tanya and Felix, who had also caught the action, smiles knowingly.

"Sorry guys, I had a long flight, and all that walking through the heat has made me really tired." It is a valid reason. I think everyone has forgotten that Edward did have a rather busy day, traveling and sightseeing, and also finding out what is to be expected of him tomorrow. He is probably really overwhelmed.

I should probably let him sleep for a while before we begin what Felix and Tanya ordered us to do.

_Yeah, make it seem like a job, Whitlock._

"Well, why don't you guys just take off? We are pretty much done here anyway." Tanya pipes in causing Emmett's scowl to deepen, and James to gaze out the window unseeingly.

It doesn't look like I am going to be able to avoid the inevitable confrontations between these two, so I turn to Edward. "Why don't you go up and I will be there in a few minutes."

Edward gives me a hesitant smile, and leans into me as he is getting up from his chair. "Don't be too long. I know I haven't known you for long, but I don't think I'll ever be able to fall sleep without you next to me." My insides quake. His words sound like a promise. Something that would go further than just tonight. He gives the peace sign to both Emmett and James and takes off to the room.

I square off across the table, sizing each of them up. James continues to stare out the window of the restaurant, while Emmett leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest. I debate on telling them the truth. Maybe they will be able to help me.

Those thoughts are nixed as soon as Emmett's first words leave his mouth. "What the fuck are you doing with this punk?"

That pisses me off. "What the fuck do you have against Edward?" I seethe. James turns to Emmett too, obviously curious to what his answer will reveal.

Emmett blushes profusely, or is it anger…I don't know. "He's just so fucking cocky. I just Don't. Like. Him."

James snorts, and sits up in his chair, finally deciding to participate. His chest hits the table's ledge. "Jas…just what is going on here? What are you doing?" James overt concern for me causes me to unwisely confess; regardless of the dickwad that is sitting next to him.

"I think I like him...alot." I say quietly.

"WHHHAATT?" Emmett booms incredulously. James reverts back to looking out the window, with an indiscernible expression on his face.

I am glad that everyone else from our party had previously left the table to pursue other activities, since we had now drawn the attention of the entire restaurant, but we are used to attention, so Emmett and I face off for another round.

"Jasper? What are you thinking? He is just a kid."

I looked at him dumbfounded. "We are the same age."

"But in our world he is an infant. This is his first film Jas. Do you remember what that was like?" _I did_. Excited, awed, star struck…he is just star struck.

_Fuck. What am I doing?_ I am a veteran. I am the fucking example, for christsakes. I have to give Edward what he should expect in the future, and nothing fucking else.

I slump forward in my chair, defeated. "You're right." I whisper dejectedly. I glance up to see the anticipated smug-faced Emmett, and a less than expected, James, staring in scorn…but not at me. He is looking at Emmett. I am too miserable to try and figure all this out tonight, so I get up to leave the table. "I'll catch you guys tomorrow before you leave."

Once I am out of the restaurant I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. I swivel to see Emmett looking bashful. "I didn't mean to be so blunt in there. I just wanted to show you that I am worried about you. Edward is going to be quite a success in the biz, and you and me, well…we are ready to retire. There is no permanency, no stability there."

"I know. You're right." I say resigned.

He punches me in the arm and gets that mischievous smirk on his face. "How about you and me having a little tryst before we leave Vegas?"

"Yeah sure." I say absently, as I turn and walk away.

I make my way to my room like a decrepit old man. I know what I have to do, and that is to teach Edward how the system works.

I pull open the door to see Edward jump off the bed, and make his way over toward me. I can't even get a word out before his lips are on mine, pushing them open with his tongue. I can't stop myself from moaning as his tongue ravages my mouth greedily. I try to seem as unaffected as possible, but my hands answer to no one as one dives into his hair, and the other cups the side of his neck. My tongue delves into the deepest recesses of his mouth over and over again before our tongues start a slow, seductive dance, rubbing sinuously against each other. My thumb reaches up to caress his cheek, as his hand does the same, and things start to feel strange again. Emotions start to course through me. Warm and fuzzy emotions that make this feel like it is more than just a good fuck, which is completely overtaking my objective to remain impassive. I pull away and take a step back. Our shallow breathing is coming out in ragged pants.

I need to do this quickly and noncommittally.

I concentrate on all my years of service for this task. I garner up the wariness, I rally the cynicism, deploy the disappointment, and focus on the denigration I have experienced in my life. I know all of these things will help me attain the desired façade of stoicism.

This time will be the most difficult, but it will also be the fastest. I pull my lips up into a friendly smile, but I am sure it doesn't reach my eyes so I step forward and tear the t-shirt that he had changed into off of his body. I waste no time getting on my knees and pulling down his pajama pants.

_Commando_. It's not too much of a surprise. He knew what was coming tonight. His cock is already rock hard, and seeping the fluid I had envisioned tasting all day. I try not to stare, so I grasp his shaft at the base and flatten my tongue along his engorged head. I stingily swallow the bead of pre-cum he expelled, wanting so much more.

I suck his dick into my mouth and deep-throat it several thrusts before I focus solely on the head, licking and sucking around the knob. As his moans vibrate the hand I have placed on his abdomen, I relish the flavor, texture and smell - everything that is purely Edward. Like a starving man, I lick and suck along his shaft, desperate for his offering. I create a vacuum to steal the treasure from him. His hands are frantic in my hair, his legs begin to stiffen and tremble. He is close, and he confirms this seconds later.

"Jas…per, I'm gonna…" He breathes in several breaths, "…cum." The word was barely audible as it trips out on a breath. In moments, spurts of gold and silver, wealth and riches slip down my throat, filling me up with priceless contentment. The mask slips as I feel the warmth spread through my chest. I look up at Edward with his head thrown back, savoring the final tremors of his orgasm. His head falls forward, and he looks down at me through blazing eyes. His jade orbs are on fire, as he stares at me with unknown emotions…which remind me, and I pull the mask back in place.

I stand, and push him roughly against the door, face first. With one fist pressed in the middle of his back I have no trouble discarding most of my clothes. I remove my hand to finish undressing, but he understands the mission, and stays put. His hands are splayed on either side of his chest as he leans into the door, waiting. "Do you have a condom?" He whispers.

I hadn't forgotten. I barebacked occasionally, but I am used to wearing a condom. _Love At First Sight_ has been a condomless endeavor so far, which is why Tanya and Felix picked two actors I trusted. I know Emmett and James work and play the same way I do. Edward is a newbie, and I had, personally, been glad that he demanded that one be used. I definitely had plans to keep myself healthy.

"I am dressing myself now darlin'." I apply the condom quickly. _Shit_. "Lube?"

"On the night stand."

There is no time for pleasantries. I grunt and retrieve the little bottle. I pour a generous amount on my cock, and some on my fingers.

When I approach Edward he is standing as if he is about to be frisked, and the sight is fucking amazing. I am rendered temporarily immobile as I stare at his flawless back and bottom. I shut my eyes briefly with regret. Regret that at the end of the day, this will all mean nothing. I am snapped out of my remorse when I can hear him say, "Oh god…hurry up." It is so low that I barely hear it, and am not at all certain that I was meant to.

I grab the inside of his hips and pull him toward me, making him bend even more. I rub his puckered entrance, and slip the gelled fingers into him. After a few thrusts I position my cock and slowly enter him, holding onto my dick as it penetrates the tight hole. The pleasure that sweeps through me when I finally am seated fully inside him is swift and intense. I lay one hand along his spine, rubbing in quick soothing circles as I wait for him to accept me.

"Fuck Jas…" Him shortening my name is my undoing. I ram him from different angles trying to find his happy place. The third time is a charm; he yelps and pushes back against me.

I think back to my interview this morning, which now, seems like weeks ago, and the fantasy that ultimately sent me over the edge. I mimic that fantasy, as I reach my hand up to touch the sweaty locks at the nape of his neck. I am so close, and exactly like the dream, he turns his head as far as he can to look back at me. _Fuuccckk._ The feelings I tried to quell earlier, come to the forefront, bombarding me with misery and desolation.

I don't want to do it, but I take all the pain and agony of what can never be out on him. I would have rather taken a shard of glass to my wrist than to hurt him, but my body has a mind of its own as I plunge fast and hard. He forgives me by grinding his backside against me, taking everything I have to offer. My stomach tightens and I have no reserve for subduing my impending release. It rushes forward with a force I have never experienced. I lay my forehead on his back as I catch my breath. His legs start to shake from the combination of the awkward position and me leaning on him.

I stand upright and head directly to the bathroom to get a washcloth. Edward also stands up, but he hasn't moved from our previous spot. Without a word, I turn him around, and bend down to clean up the mess that I made on his backside, and that's when I see the small puddle on the floor. _Oh shit._ "You came again?"

He turns back around smiling, and snags the washcloth from my hand to wipe off his dripping cock. "I couldn't help it." He says with a beautiful little smile.

I clutch him, walk backward to the bed, and push him down lightly onto the mattress. "Well, let the lesson commence. Time to teach you some stamina Mr. Cullen."

"So, what does that all entail?"

I chuckle. _Oh, this is going to be fun._

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**AN: I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading. Reviews are like gold and silver. *wink***


	4. Goodbyes

**AN: Thanks everyone for coming back to read some more, and thanks to all of you that have added me to your fav's and alerts, and especially for reviewing. I'm sorry this is another really long chapter. I am going to try to cut this in half in the next chapters.**

**QueenBeta Cullen818 is a rockstar.**

**Disclaimers: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. This story is intended for a mature audience. You should not read this story if you are not 18 or older.**

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**Chapter 4 – EPOV **

Stamina…not so fun…and highly overrated, if I might say so.

Who really wants to last all fucking night anyway? I don't think any chick or dude is up for an all-nighter, getting banged non-stop. I don't mind a little teasing. I like to play with my prey, so I have definitely done my fair share, but that shit we did yesterday is just fucking wrong. Over and over again, that devil incarnate took me to the edge, started to push me over, just to grab me back to safety at the very last second…and I could have killed him each time.

I glimpse over in the seat next to me, and my eyes narrow at his all-knowing smirk. _Bastard_. I glance at everyone else sitting around the breakfast table, and they all share in his amusement as they watch me with barely contained laughter. They are all making it pretty clear that they know exactly what was happening to me last night. They all know that this morning I woke up with the same damn wood that I was literally forced to fall asleep with last night; the wood that still pressed against my zipper now, as we all, supposedly, casually enjoyed a feast of early morning treats.

As Jasper turns to reply to something James says I can't help but study him in earnest. I just don't understand him, this enigma named Jasper. He was so hot and cold all day yesterday, flipping the tap from side to side as we maneuvered our way through the day together.

Jasper was a totally different person when we spent the afternoon roaming the Vegas area and taking in the sights. He was amazing. He smiled a lot, but I noticed that he didn't laugh so much. He was quiet as he listened to me tell him about myself, and when I prodded him he finally opened up about himself, although he really didn't have much to say. It seems Jasper lives a solitary life that he appears to be content with. I noticed that he didn't want to talk about his family, so I avoided the subject not wanting to ruin the mood.

God, we had so much fun together. I can totally see myself with Jasper…long term, which is saying a lot. I've never deceived anyone into thinking that I am boyfriend material, but something told me it would be a huge mistake not to consider the possibility with Jasper. I know that there are some issues that we would have to overcome; first and foremost being distance. I have heard time and time again from people that long distance relationships don't work and I believe every single one of them. I don't favor long intervals of abstinence. I believe in monogamy not celibacy.

I really started to feel like Jasper and I were on the same page for a while, that he also had feelings, but then he changed, and now I have no idea what he wants.

During dinner he had seemed nervous and distant. I could barely get him to acknowledge me. I tried to get his attention at the table, but his eyes would just flicker to mine with a quick little smile and apology for bumping me again, which I had wholly instigated purposefully. I hardly think that Jasper was slow, so my guess is he had a lot on his mind. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, why he had changed so drastically in the hour that it took us both to change for dinner.

I had wanted him to confide in me, and then I would do whatever it took to make him like he was in the afternoon, but instead we just fucked and then we fucked again, and so it went. Every time I attempted to start a conversation he would begin manipulating every one of my senses, until I had nothing on my mind but relief from his touch. Relief I only managed to get once, after hours of his hands playing across every part of my body.

His attitude adjustment could have had something to do with that ass-munch across the table. What a dickhead Emmett is. Man, he is sweet to look at, but who the hell would want to have a conversation with that arrogant oaf? All I have heard him talk about is himself, and when he could fit it in, something about him and Jasper together – on and off set. I can't wait to show him what I can do with Jasper on screen. I am going to fucking blow it up. As Jasper had "trained" me yesterday, he barely let me touch him, so I still have a couple tricks up my sleeve for the shoot. I can't wait to see his face as he unravels in front of me…because of me.

I had every intention of asking Jasper what the hell his issue was at dinner when he arrived back at the room, but when he came in I had to have a taste of him. I hadn't realized at the time that it would prompt the most potent orgasm I have had to date.

The blowjob was fantastic, but what respectable gay man gave bad head? No, it was the sex. I liked it rough, but Jasper…Jasper fucking pounded me like there was no fucking tomorrow, making me cum the hardest I ever have.

I couldn't even believe that I was unloading again. Everything was just feeling awesome, as he had located my sweet spot in a matter of seconds, tapping it over and over, then out of the fucking blue my stomach started to clench. Unbelievingly, I turned as far as I could to look at him, and oh my god, the sight before me was something I never, ever wanted to forget. Jasper's head was thrown back, his teeth clenched, his chest was slick with sweat, but it was the look in his eyes that had me emptying onto the floor. In that one look, I felt the desperation and the need. He could deny it all he wanted, but he needed me and that sent me over the edge into a whirlwind of pleasure.

I groan, and inconspicuously press a fist into my hard on. Except it isn't inconspicuous, because everyone and their fucking next door neighbor notices, and they are all laughing at me.

"I am glad to be a source of entertainment for all of you this morning." I say with unveiled sarcasm.

Even Jasper is laughing, and he's looking at me…but not at me. I am getting the "empty eye" syndrome from him, yet again.

Almost all night, while he was "training", "teaching", "torturing" me – whatever the hell that was, he acted detached, almost methodical as he practiced his skills, showing me everything I needed to know, and at the same time, learning my body inside and out. He took his time, catching every expression on my face, like educating himself on each of my weak spots was the most important thing in the world.

He tried to pretend aloofness, practically acting bored, but there were times that his attempts at coldness were unsuccessful. There were little things that pierced his armor. He liked when I was verbal, whenever I said something his eyes would briefly shut, and for the first millisecond when he opened them back up I saw in them his own brand of personal torture. He wanted more, but he never allowed himself to take it one step further. Whenever I arched my back, he let out a whimper that he would try to cover up with a cough or the clearing of his throat.

He wouldn't let me anywhere near his dick until the end, and he shied away from any other form of touch. We didn't kiss after we had sex for the first time. It was all about me. I knew there were times that he struggled to maintain his composure, but I am just not sure why he felt that was necessary.

If he is afraid or unsure that I am not feeling this thing between us too, then I will make it my mission to let him know exactly how I feel before we leave here today. I am prepared to try to make a long distance thing with him work out, and for me that's huge. I won't give it long though, if it works out, I will push for one of us to move closer.

It seems strange to have this strong of feelings for someone so quickly, but I am not going to question it. I am just going to ride out this wave, and hopefully, it's big enough to get me what I want, but not large enough to swallow me whole.

There are conditions to my unconditional obsession with Jasper Whitlock. I won't be changing for anyone, even for this blond god. Jasper will have to accept me the way that I am – flaws and all. There are also a lot of different things that I haven't tried sexually that I want to do, but instead of finding different partners, I won't mind doing them all with Jasper and no one else.

Well, except what I do for work, that is. Obviously, there will be a job to do, and if anyone can understand that, it will be Jasper. After more thought, I think our relationship can be ideal, if I can just get him to move to Chicago, and find out why he is trying to fight the feelings I know he is experiencing.

I glance over at him again, and he is staring at that stupid ass, Emmett. They seem to be having some silent conversation going on. _What is up with these two?_ It is clear that Emmett has a thing for Jasper, but it doesn't appear to be reciprocated. I am not sure that Jasper even knows the extent of Emmett's desire for him. Emmett's eyes flash to mine, and he sees that I am watching their exchange, so that's when he kicks it up a notch, and puts on his fucking show, as usual. He blows a "secret" kiss to Jasper, and then winks at him, in an attempt to be seductive.

Insert fucking eye roll here. Watch out, Captain Obvious is staking his claim.

He is so over the top it's a joke. Jasper looks down quickly not returning the sentiments, but smiles, somewhat uncomfortably. But Emmett, being the dumbass that he is, seems satisfied with Jasper's lack of response, because he looks at me with a superior smile.

Whatever dude. Hey check this out.

I lean in to "whisper", not so quietly, in Jasper's ear, while Emmett watches. "God, I can't wait to get my hands on you again. Last night was ah-may-zing." I then take the opportunity to press my hand into his crotch, and he moans softly.

And _that_ is how you get a reaction asshole. Emmett looks away irritated, and James lets out a small laugh.

"Jesus, Edward…soon." Jasper's eyes are squeezed shut, when he opens them, they bore into mine. His blue eyes, shine with unleashed passion…and goddamn, it doesn't fucking matter that it shouldn't be possible. I love him. I know at that moment of realization that there isn't any way to keep the feeling contained, so in a strange voice, full of wonder and awe, I do whisper this time, "Jasper?"

"Oh god." He hisses and jumps up from the table, quickly striding away, with his puppy dog following at his heels.

I don't see him again until it is time for our performance.

XXXXX

I'm shocked when I walk into the studio and notice that the set has been altered for today's scene. Instead of a bed, like James got, I get a desk. It makes me wonder what Emmett had to get fucked on, but I guess I'll just wait until the movie comes out to satisfy that bit of curiosity.

A desk isn't the ideal romantic type setting for a case of "love at first sight", but I recognize that this movie mocked the whole idea of it. Shit, before yesterday I am not sure I would have believed in love at first sight either.

It isn't hard to spot the object of my desire; he is sitting in the same place I first spotted him in yesterday. He is sitting on the window sill, gazing out the glass, seemingly oblivious to everyone and everything going on around him. I start toward him, but am detained by Tanya, and someone I am pretty sure is from "wardrobe". The woman had a large booming voice. "Come with me Edward, so we can get you into your school uniform." I mentally high five myself for remembering the woman's role correctly. I had met so many people yesterday I am surprised that I remember who I am.

I haven't taken my eyes off of Jasper, and when the woman said my name Jasper's head turned again, but unlike yesterday when his eyes clapped on mine within moments, this time, he turned his head slowly…wearily. His blank eyes fall on me for only a second before they return to staring out the window.

I change into my part, the new student at Fuck Me High – I just made that up, I don't even know the name of the school. I meander through the studio looking for the main character. My eyes travel the entire room before I find him in one of the corners talking with my favorite person, Emmett.

Emmett is bent at the knees, so that he is eye level with Jasper. He is speaking quietly, and Jasper keeps his eyes down, but nods in affirmation to whatever he is telling him. Emmett hooks his finger under Jasper's chin to lift his face to his own, and then the dickhead kisses him. A soft, sweet, gentle kiss, but it couldn't be too good because Jasper's eyes open, and he looks around, searching before he stops when he sees me. I wish I could celebrate the small victory, but Emmett still has his lips on him, so my victory seems much more like a watered-down defeat. Jasper doesn't pull away, but we stare at each other, both unwilling to turn away from the awkward moment.

The last thing that I expected is to feel a warm set of arms wrap around me from behind. "So, are you ready to do this?" I recognize James voice.

I lay my arms along his, and grasp his hands in mine, in nothing but a purely friendly way, and I lean back into him, appreciating the support in that minute.

Trying to lighten the heavy load on my nerves right now, I try banter. "What the fuck do you think?" I push my ass into his, and he groans, as he tightens his hold on my waist. Even through this light repartee, Jasper still holds my eyes hostage as Emmett wraps him up in a bear hug.

James softly places a kiss on my neck, and rests his chin on my shoulder. "Jasper is a good friend of mine, and as much as I would like to see him happy, it won't be with you." It is evident that he is looking at the exchange across the room as well.

"Why not?" I turn in his arms to look into James' handsome face.

He sighs. "You two are like oil and water, Edward. This thing…yesterday…today, it's your first time. We all fall our first time."

"What does he see in _him_?" This causes James to burst out laughing while maintaining his hold on me.

"Emmett and Jasper…understand each other. They have similar interests."

It is my turn to sigh, feeling as if I have the weight of the world on my chest. Trying to lighten the mood again, I squeeze James' sides. "You just want me for yourself." I say playfully.

He chuckles. "No, I am afraid you are definitely not my type." He looks around, "and it appears I accomplished what I set out to do." He says ambiguously, as he pecks me on the lips, stunning me. "We'll just see what happens from here, but if you guys do something stupid, like get together anyway, take care of him for as long as you have him. He is a special guy."

"Do you want him?" _Does everyone want Jasper?_

"No, man. I could have had Jas a long time ago, but he was young and naïve, and I was old and wiser. Kind of like the two of you now. He understands that this is just…the nature of the beast." He looks sadly, and holds me a little tighter. "Edward…this line of work…it doesn't nurture relationships. All I am asking it that you just step back and really take a look at the situation. I didn't get this skeptical without my share of disappointments." He pulls away reluctantly, and his eyes hold an ancient sadness. He is right. He has obviously been hurt…maybe even more than once.

"Edward, you are both volatile in your own ways. I am worried that one of you, or the both of you are going to get hurt…badly. I hope that if you decide to pursue this that you both have friends around to help you for when that time comes." Our foreheads come together briefly. "Gotta go. My plane leaves in about two hours." I really feel that James is someone that I can count on as a friend, and I am definitely happy to have met him.

"Sure. See ya, and thanks for the advice." I give him a small hug, and watch him as he leaves.

Well, it seems that Jasper and I have no odds at lasting, if we can get together in the first place. _Am I just being ridiculously foolish? _

Well, it is time to find out. I turn around, and stride to the makeshift "classroom" with a purpose.

Jasper is lounging in one of the chairs nonchalantly. I sit in one adjacent to him, but he doesn't look at me. "So what the hell was that was that about?" He says, looking at his nails, as if he is bored.

"What was what?" Is my ever so brilliant response.

"You know what I am talking about. James." He shrugs, uncaringly. "Do you guys have something going on?"

"Like what?" I ask, and he just fucking shrugs…again. I swear if he shrugs one more time I am going to deck him.

I search the room, but don't see any sign of bear poop. "Your boyfriend didn't want to hang around for the show?" I attempt to say it as casually as he appears to be, but fuck, if I didn't hear the malice in my words.

He rises in a flash and is standing over me ominously, a dark scowl on his beautiful face. "I. Don't. Get. Jealous." He enunciates each word with precision before he stalks away.

"Why would you?" I counter, to his retreating form. It sure as hell sounded like jealousy to me.

I sit, and brood until I am suddenly blinded by the light. No, it isn't an epiphany; it is the actual fucking lights…and lots of them. Goddamn, how the hell am I supposed to perform with all of this light…and heat? Damn, I perspire like a motherfucker to begin with. I am going to be drenched in my own sweat before the camera even turns on. I quickly get up from the chair to find shelter behind the fluorescents.

"It won't be so bad once it starts." I turn to find Emmett, standing next to me, which is funny because I didn't smell him coming. He stares at the monstrosity of illumination. "They'll turn the ones they don't need off."

He casually pivots toward me so the he is fully facing me. He narrows his eyes. "Don't be putting any extra moves on my boyfriend. I'm warning you to stay away from Jasper."

My short supply of good manners has run out for dear Emmett. "That's funny. He hasn't said anything about you being his boyfriend to me."

"That's because I just asked him today and he said yes. You can have him for these mere minutes, but I'll be going home with him afterward." I can't hide the hurt fast enough for Emmett not to notice, and he takes full advantage of my sorry state. "You think you are all that…but you are just…"

"What's going on here?" Jasper interrupts Emmett's attack, when he is just about to go for the jugular. Jasper looks puzzled as he eyes me and then Emmett. Emmett just looks at me and winks as Jasper looks at me for an answer.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." I swivel around looking for a speedy getaway. I can hear Emmett say behind me to his _boyfriend_, "I'll be waiting for you…" but his voice fades away, the further I walk. Once I get out of hearing distance I turn around to find Jasper right at my heels. I avoid looking at him, but I can tell from my peripheral that he is looking at me worriedly, so without looking back at him I just say the words he wants to hear. "It was nothing…really."

I walk away, and leave him standing there with his head hanging.

XXXXX

Two out of like a hundred of the lights dim before they tell me that they are ready for me.

I've went over my words for the millionth time with Felix, and Tanya makes sure my hair looks adequate. I keep on trying to pat the mess down, but she just comes back and ruffles it up again.

She tsks when she sees Jasper. "Jasper stop putting your hands through your hair. What the hell is wrong with you?"

He whispers something, and she responds back in the same hushed tone. They exchange a few more words before he finds the seat for which the scene starts.

It's my turn to look anxious, and then I remember this is just a fuck…with a shitload of people watching, but this is what I do best. I literally shake it off, and wait for my cue. Some signals go back and forth, and then all of a sudden the scene starts. I am behind a door, but I hear the class start as the teacher begins by asking the students to pull out their homework from yesterday. I take my silent cue to enter the classroom, and so on shaky legs I walk through the door, and start my new career. It takes everything in me not to squint from the lighting, but I pull it off. There are about five "students" in the room and a "teacher". I endeavor to not focus on the only one in the room that mattered. I glaze over all of them, noticing that Jasper has his head down, scribbling on a notebook, while gradually all of the other pupils take notice of me.

"Well, you must be the new student. Jack Cooke…right?" I tear my gaze away from Jasper's not even realizing that I had been staring at him in the first place, but as I am turning away I observe that he finally looks up. I give the teacher a quick nod, confirming that I have been positively identified.

It is supposed to be love at first sight, so when the teacher has me recite my fake name and where I came from previously, my gaze strayed to the star, and stayed there. It is as if time is frozen…for real. I can't fake love at first sight when I really feel it, so instead of hiding my emotions, as I have been, I let them loose and put them on exhibit.

Oh, I am still pissed; pissed that he said yes to that fucktard without even giving me a chance to make my case, but for this scene I will show him what I had to offer…what he could have had. My face hides nothing, as I take the seat next to him.

Two cameras move directly in front of our faces, and it a little disconcerting and very fucking distracting. I don't know how I manage to keep myself from staring into one, but I imagine that it has something to do this boy sitting across from me; the most fuckable boy I have ever met in my life.

The teacher had moved away to allow for the cameras, but he keeps up the discussion in the background. Talking nonsense about homework and all that, but all I see and hear is Jasper.

"Hi." He clears his throat, and he looks nervous. I have to commend him on his act, he appears to have this shit down, and I am smart enough to realize that, although I am mad, this is yet another golden opportunity for me to learn from one of the best, so I soak it up. I watch, enchanted by every nuance and motion as Jasper blushes prettily. _How the hell do you make yourself blush?? _"I'm Casey White." He holds out a hand for me to shake, and while still holding his eyes captive I grasp his hand in a firm shake. Our fingers linger, entangling momentarily before they fall to our sides. He looks down at my empty desk. "Do you want to share my book until they give you one of your own?"

"Sure." I say hesitantly, as we both slowly move our desks closer to one another. Once our desks are connected Tanya yells, "CUT!"

I look around, wondering what I had done wrong. Jasper is already out of his seat, and across the studio. Tanya approaches me, and I cringe waiting for a lecture on what I had done to cause the scene to stop. "Great job, so far. We just need to dry you off a bit." One of the assistants ran up with a towel, and handed it to Tanya, who in turn handed it over to me. "Here take this, and here." She says as she hands me cold bottled water.

"Thank you." I gulp down the water, and towel myself off.

"Okay, we just have to get one more shot before we clear the studio, okay hon? So, try not to drown before then. And don't worry, you are doing fabulous." She winks and walks away, just as Jasper is walking back to his chair. Jasper had told me last night that some of the directors give the actor's as much privacy as possible, so they clear the studio when the sex scene starts. They have around five people in the room managing the lighting, sound, camera's etc.

He sits down in his chair, waiting for the scene to begin again. He is avoiding me at all costs, and it pisses me off. How could yesterday have all meant nothing? Not just the sex, but walking around Vegas, holding hands, getting to know each other…and now, he doesn't want anything to do with me. "Okay guys, here we go." Tanya starts spewing signals, and I can't help but mutter right before we get our final signal, "Get over yourself."

Jasper's head snaps my way, and he is so close that I can feel his warm breath on my cheek, but I keep my eyes averted, leveling my menacing stare on the teacher, but I know I can't keep it up because I am supposed to be "in love" with Jasper. I should be flirting with him endlessly until we get reprimanded for it. So I man up and take the initiative to start things off. I display a toothy grin for the camera as I take my pencil and poke him in the side playfully. I giggle when he jumps unexpectedly.

They had given us some suggestions on this part of the scene but said that we could improvise. Flirting is flirting, and I certainly didn't need a lesson in that, but before I can do anything else, Jasper turns himself in his seat so that he is almost completely facing me. His fingers lace in my hair, so he can pull it away from my ear, he leans in with a very sexy smirk on his lips.

"I don't need to get over myself, I think it is you that needs to get over me." He whispers to low for the mic's to pick up. He licks my earlobe for the camera. I quickly move to rebuttal, placing my hand over his chest while I bite his lobe…a little too hard.

"Already over it." I say simply, before we pull away.

We both have matching playful smiles on our faces, but our eyes were following a different script. My hands are on him, his are on mine, and for all intents and purposes we looked the part, but our eyes are on fire. It is like we are having a lover's quarrel, without the privilege of being actually being a lover.

_How messed up is this?_ I am finished. For the first time since I met Jasper I just want to be done with this.

I give up on words and start acting. Jasper and I touch each other shamelessly. It wasn't until the teacher scolded us for the third time that we are awarded the desired after school detention as punishment for our misbehavior. The scene is cut after the teacher makes the announcement. Before Jasper can take off again, I grab his arm, in an effort to stop him. I will be the better man…this one time, because I am not always known for my peacekeeping nature…actually I am never known for it…okay, so I am not even sure it exists.

"Please…" I plead for him to look at me. His eyes find mine and they look so tired. "I'm sorry. Can we just do this...please without fighting?"

His eyes - they are attempting to say things that I know his mouth doesn't have any intention of emitting. They are trying to say something I can't decode.

"Okay." He says quietly.

We separate so that we can get something to drink and cool off before the action portion of the day takes place. Jasper told me last night that we are supposed to stroke it before we start the set - that when we pull down each other's pants we should be hard and ready. He said that limp weenies aren't sexy. I tend to disagree, but I am only one person and since I didn't have a consensus from "the people", as Jasper referred to them, then who am I to argue.

I know one thing though, and that is that I didn't need to spank it - I am so ready. Jasper says that we will only be kissing for a very limited time before the clothes come off for us to get "prepared", but the fact is, that I can get hard just picturing Jasper's lips on mine, and well…I just did. Kudos to my very vivid short term memory.

I adjust myself as I surreptuously survey the studio, looking for my on screen partner. My eyes roam until I see him come out of the bathroom; maybe he went in to a stall to jerk it. Well, damn that doesn't cause a little bit of hurt pride that it verifies that he doesn't have the same reaction to me as I have to him.

"C'mon guys, we have to clear out of here in an hour." It isn't until now that I notice that most of the staff has vanished.

The time is upon us. This is where the torture…I mean, stamina comes in. I am hoping that we only have to stop once before each position, which should be three times, and not any more than that. Jasper told me yesterday that he had to stop about ten times on his first movie, but says those were vastly different circumstances since he was practically a virgin at the time.

The scene starts with me already waiting in my chair for Jasper to arrive to play out our punishment. He enters through the same door that I did earlier, and sits down in the chair next to me.

The teacher comes in and gives us orders to remain quiet and in our seats, so as soon as the teacher leaves I jump out of my seat and go over to the teacher's desk. I jump on it, leaving my legs to dangle off the edge. I crook my finger at Jasper, calling him to me. He wastes no time coming over.

He places himself between my spread legs, and places both of his palms on either side of my face. "You are so sexy."

_It's in the script, it's in the fucking script._ Thank god, there aren't very many more lines. I didn't want to have to keep reminding myself that his words weren't coming from his heart. It is on the paper that told him what he is obligated to say.

Except he was supposed to say my name too, and didn't, but it appears to be okay since the tape still rolls.

I grab onto his sides and pull him closer to me. "Not as hot as you are gorgeous. I want to see more." I say mischievously. Yeah…the lines are fucking cheesy, but we are doing a porno here.

I take the hem of his shirt and lift it over his head. _Fucking magnificent_. I can't stare, so my lips find his in eager anticipation of having his tongue in my mouth again, but he keeps the door locked, choosing instead to give slow, soft kisses, but I am not having any of that. I journey to his neck, where I place opened mouthed kisses until I get to my target. When I reach his ear I whisper, "Do you want this to be good, or do you want this to be spectacular?"

He growls as his mouth finds mine, and his tongue plunges into my mouth greedily, sucking away, as I explore the lining of his mouth. My hands become frantic on his chest and back, making sure that he leaves with not sliver of skin untouched. Our lips unlock long enough for his hands to find the edge of my shirt. He quickly discards it, throwing it onto the floor, and then crashes his lips to mine again.

"CUT!" _Huh?_

And so, here I am…aching and desperate - a severe case of déjà vu from last night.

Thankfully, porn doesn't have any tact. They move from position to position with no regard of subtlety or warning. There is no blurring between the scenes so it makes the necessary transition the simplest of tasks, since only menial care is taken in editing when the conversions take place. One moment we will be in one position and the next frame we will be in another.

It cuts out the discussion, because at the end of the day, when the humping starts no one gives a shit about any dialogue unless it's 'fuck me harder', "suck me baby", "you're so tight", "I'm gonna cum on your pretty little face", and other various statements of that nature.

"Okay guys, let's get a little blowjob action going down. Ummm….let's get Edward to go down on Jas first. Don't worry about taking the pants off, just get them down, and keep your mug out of the camera. You got thirty seconds before we flip." Felix instructs.

The camera's on and my hands work Jasper's belt as he does the same and the objects fall to the floor at the same time. I drop down to my knees to handle his fly and zipper. I pull down his pants and take in the beautiful sight – a rock hard cock barely contained in baby blue boy panties with dark blue trim. I massage his package while I look up at him through hazy eyes.

His dick protrudes from the side of the panties and I lick the exposed skin, and then pull the material back to free his cock from the confines of his drawers. I hear him groan and I look up at him again. I watch him as his blue eyes stare, transfixed at my handiwork. His hard-on throbs in my face. Knowing that my time is limited I grab his dick at the base and suck the head into my mouth. As I suckle around the rim, I pump his shaft, twisting my wrist like I know that he prefers and in a rhythm I had previously seen him enjoy immensely. He doesn't disappoint as I hear his breath hitch, and a breathless "fuck" escapes his lips.

I suppose that was the perfect time to stop the production and so it is done. With Tanya uttering that one word, I halt my actions, but not before I place a small chaste kiss on the tip. We both turn to Felix for our next instruction. "Great guys, lots of passion there…intense…okay, Jas your turn. Edward take it all off and lay back on the desk."

As I remove my clothes I watch Jasper's back as he is turned away from me. "Hold up." He says as I am about to remove my boxer briefs. "Leave the boxers on. Let Jas take them off."

I lie back on the desk and wait for Jasper, both of us randomly stroking our own cocks to maintain length and hardness during the breaks. Jasper stands at the edge of the desk and reaches over to smack my hand away. I glance at him and he looks at me with a sweet smile. Somewhere along the line, Jasper had decided that he wanted to make this a memorable experience, and I am glad for that, because I so wanted that too.

And just like that, the camera light goes on and Jasper and I are back to work. He strokes my cock aggressively through the thin cotton while his lips suck and nip on my distended nipple, something he found out that I thoroughly approved of last night.

I demonstrate my contentment by letting out a "gasp and sigh" combo. Something I know that he approves of. He confirms this when he stops his ministrations on my chest and his lips attack mine for a brief, but heated kiss.

After the kiss he immediately dives into my underwear and grabs my cock, pumping the swollen member until pearly fluid leaks from the tip. He sucks it into his mouth then, taking my member deep in his throat and swallows around it. He bobs his head furiously knowing that the clock runs out in seconds.

"CUT!" Fuck-in-A! ARGH.

Time for position number one. We are instructed to start from behind. Jasper dresses his cock and then applies the lube to our cocks and my ass, stretching my asshole, and preparing it for entry. Once that is accomplished, film starts rolling again. I press my hands against the ledge of the desk as he dives into my ass. The only noises that come from us were a series of grunts, moans, "fuck yeah's", "just like that" and "harder's". My legs start to quiver and I am feeling the heat spread through my abdomen. I give the camouflaged sign to stop and the director yells, "CUT!"

"Awesome guys. Keep on going, this is real good. Let's put Edward on top next." I groan because that is my favorite position. He climbs on the desk and lies on his back. I follow and position myself atop, straddling him. Yeah…we won't be doing this one for too long.

Focusing solely on Jasper for the sake of lasting at all, I avoided my prostate and touching myself in any form. Okay, so it still only lasted for like thirty seconds before I almost lost my load prematurely, but I am not the one to stop production this time. Jasper does, and I gloat internally.

I noticed from viewing Jasper's other movies, that when Jasper came he always rubbed his chest and abdomen vigorously, so when I felt the heat that hadn't fully dissipate during our small break rising to a boiling point again, I rubbed the spots that he most reacted to, which was his collarbone area, just over his belly button, and the juncture where his hip connected with his leg…on the left side. For some reason, it had always been the left side, and it worked like a fucking charm. Jasper was throwing the inconspicuous hand signal within seconds. He eyed me suspiciously, knowing full well that I knew precisely what I was doing.

"Okay guys, let's finish up with Edward laying across the desk and Jasper on the end. Remember not to get your body in the way of the camera, we want the entire cum shot."

I lay down on the desk and Jasper leans his thighs against the ledge to pull my closer to the edge. _This is it._ I couldn't help the strong surge of sadness that passed over my features. He notices and mirrors my expression. He's about to say something, but he is interrupted.

"Action." Without warning we are being watched again.

He enters me and immediately finds my weak spot. "Do you like it rough baby?" He says for the camera, but I just can't get into it, all that much. I need a release and I know with complete certainty that I am guaranteed one, but I can't shake the tad of depression that overtakes me, so to avoid notice from any future viewers I shut my eyes, planning on playing the rest of this out with eyes wide shut.

He presses harder, faster, fucking me deeper. He grasps my legs in an iron grip as his movements become feral.

"Look at me." He growls in a smothered voice, trying to keep it off the recording. When I don't respond he gives up on anonymity and says the words. "Look at me." Goddamn, I can't stand the tone, the sincerity for which those words come from. Is Jasper Whitlock that good of an actor, or does he really care? I am a porn actor, I am not supposed to deliver an award winning performance, I am supposed to look good, fuck great and make everyone cum, and those are the things that I could do.

But I do what he asks and open my eyes. _Fuck!_ He is staring at me with such intensity. I open my mouth to say something pertinent, but I am not sure exactly what. He takes that moment to grasp my dick and stroke it into oblivion. "Cum for me…Edward." He says the last word, my name, so low that no one could have possibly heard that but me.

He is talking to me. I'm not Jack, and he is not Casey. We are Jasper and Edward.

"Oh god…" I whisper as my orgasm comes barreling through, covering my stomach with cum as the camera's reel in to get a close up. "Jasper pulls his dick out of me, and rips the condom off. He strokes himself quick and agilely, dumping his hot cum all over my cock and abdomen.

"CUT! Holy shit, that was hot! You guys are incredible together. Okay guys, get dressed so we can shoot the final scene."

The scene is simply Jasper and I walking hand in hand out of the classroom. It takes all but twenty seconds to complete the scene, and as soon as we round the corner there is a cheer from the staff and executives, I disperse handshakes and hugs all around, while we all sip champagne. I look for Jasper amongst the throng, but he is nowhere to be found. I head toward the bathroom to see if he is in there and he isn't. I turn back to the room full of laughing and conversation to see Jasper, with his bag in hand, leaving the studio.

Not even a goodbye.

XXXXX

I sit at Las Vegas' McCarran airport waiting to board my plane; I keep my iTouch on a high volume setting. Atreyu's _Slow Burn_ is playing loudly as I try to drown out the noises from the nearby slot machines. I stare at nothing, as my mind rummages through the series of events from the last two days, trying to make sense of what happened at the end, why did Jasper just bolt? I also wondered how long it will take to get my next gig.

Felix had said that there are certain people that help with editing that also work for popular gay websites, so he estimated that word could get out about the new kid on the block as soon as three weeks. I make a mental note to check out the local gyms in my area, and to try and find a good yoga class.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and it jolts me out of my thoughts. I swivel around in my seat to see Jasper. I pull the ear buds out of my ears and throw them down on my bag.

He is just in time to hear that my flight starts accepting passengers to board the plane.

Jasper looks at the attendant making the announcement before his eyes fall on me urgently, and I feel the remnants of hope rising up in me.

"I just want to apologize for my behavior. I haven't been very professional, and I am very sorry for that."

"Why do you think that is?" I am prodding him, because I want him to say so much more than that.

"I…I don't…" He puts his hands roughly through his hair. He was going to say "I don't know", but he realizes that we both know that would have been a lie.

I peer over his shoulder to see Emmett waiting for him, with his and Jasper's bag slung over his wide shoulders. I look back at Jasper and he knows exactly who I was looking at. He shakes his head slowly as his eyes search mine. I see the inner struggle as he fights to find the right words to say. My optimism is squelched. He is looking for the words that let me down kindly. "Ed…"

_Well, fuck that._

I stretch out my hands to forestall him. "No – I get it. I get it Jasper, but why him? He is such a fucking tool." I wave my hand in Emmett's direction.

"He just…fits." That's it? There is nothing left to say?

"Fits?" I start to back away, unbelievingly. He is giving up the chance to be with me, for someone who…_fits_?

His eyes gloss over as he sees me retreating from him. "Edward…I…"

Speaking of Emzilla, he approaches Jasper from behind, and Jasper shuts his eyes as he feels Emmett's huge hands on his shoulders. "C'mon, honey, we should go, I don't want to miss our flight. I am anxious to get _us_ home."

Jasper shrinks at his use of words. "Give me one fucking minute." He says sternly.

He waits until Emmett is out of earshot and his mouth opens, but then it shuts with an audible snap. Instead of speaking, he takes the couple of steps closer, and reaches out and puts his fingertips on my cheekbone, and runs it along its length. I shut my eyes as his touch lingers. When I open them back up I notice that his eyes are red-rimmed.

"You're gonna be a rockstar, Edward Cullen." He says in a soft, shaky voice. I have to turn away; else my blurry eyes will give away my feelings, and I really don't want him to know how seriously stupid I've been. I want to run, but I manage to walk, step after step, to my gate. I don't turn around until I am at the entrance. I have this noble ambition of waving goodbye or some shit like that, but when I turn around Emmett has Jasper in his arms, and I just can't find the strength to pretend anymore, so I just turn back around and walk away.

I put my bag in the overhead and strap myself in. I lay my head against the little window, staring at my reflection more than at the landing strip on the other side of the pane. I watch, through the window, as the tear slowly slides down my face.

Just one tear - that is all I will allow for Jasper Whitlock. Surely, one tear was worth the wasted effort of attempting to acquire something that could have been so much more.

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**AN: Thanks for reading. I hope you liked! Please let me know what you thought.**


	5. Meadows

**AN: Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read this story. If you are curious as to what couple inspired this story you can find the info on my profile page. I am not writing it here because some people specifically requested that they didn't want to know. **

**Cullen818 is the best beta ever, and a extremely talented writer, if I do say so. I really don't know what I would do without her.**

**Disclaimers: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. This story is intended for a mature audience, so please do not read if you are not 18 or older.**

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**Chapter 5 -JPOV**

"Jesus Christ." Emmett grumbles in aggravation. He stomps out of the living room like a little drama queen.

Emmett hates country music, and it doesn't help him warm up to it when he knows that I only go back to my roots when I am depressed. I continue undeterred to strum Bessie, my Gibson acoustic guitar, singing verses of Ricochet's, _The Truth is I Lied_.

I had worked all summer to buy my first Gibby six years ago. Almost immediately after that we had lost our childhood dog, so at the time it seemed only natural to name it after such a loyal pet.

I finish the song in a whisper, as I lose myself in thoughts. I am so pathetic.

I guess I can't blame Emmett for being in a foul mood. I haven't been the ideal "boyfriend", but in my defense, I never made him any promises. I said I'd give this thing with him a try, and I am…I suppose, but today…well, today I didn't have the heart to put anything into this pseudo relationship. I am getting tired of pretending that this is working for me.

Thankfully, Emmett's cousin is getting married this weekend, and he is packing for his trip back to his hometown, Forks, Washington for the wedding. Since he is one of the groomsmen, and I hadn't met anyone from his family yet, I didn't feel comfortable tagging along. He had tried to convince me to accompany him anyway, if only just to meet his parents and sister, but I am just not ready to take that step, and I am not sure if I ever will be.

He's been here for a month and I don't have the heart to ask him to leave. After the filming of _Love at First Sight_, which I _do not_ think about at all costs, Emmett came home with me. I enjoyed playing house for a time, but that is all it is…a hoax. Once Edward's spell on me had worn off, or the "E-fog" as I affectionately refer to it as, I realized that this thing with Emmett isn't fixing the ache inside of me.

I curse that whole day, and the stupid fucking movie that made me feel like I needed more than what I have. Shit, before that goddamn ordeal I was, if anything, content with my solitary life. I didn't need companionship. Sure, I wanted it…but I was willing to wait for it.

Edward made me want it, right fucking now. I didn't want to think that I had fallen in love with him, but I can't seem to progress past anything that happened in the span of that twenty-four hour period.

I commiserated over it on the plane trip back home. I allowed myself, for the flight only, to let myself wallow in a major case of self-pity. The passage home was an enlightening one, and it felt like I had been punched in the gut when I grasped that I had, in fact, left my heart behind. That realization left me feeling like I was going to vomit, so I got up, intending on finding the bathroom, but Emmett detained me by grabbing onto my wrist. He asked if I wanted him to join me for a little rendezvous, and I about threw up all over him. I had managed to stumble to the small washroom just in time, but not to surrender the contents of my stomach, but to bawl like a fucking baby. I sat on the pot for a good ten minutes crying my fucking eyes out for a boy I had just met less than a day ago.

When I walked off that plane I swore off any thoughts of Edward.

Since then, Emmett and I have fallen into a comfortable routine. He has "moved" into my rented, three bedroom house, in Corpus Christi, Texas. He didn't have a place of his own back in Washington. He had still lived with his parents, so he just had his mom pack a couple of boxes for him of his favorite clothes and items, and shipped the packages to him.

I only live a couple of miles from South Padre Island, so we go to the beach every weekend, which is enjoyable. It is the weekdays that I find unbearable. In the mornings, I manage to barricade myself in the spare bedroom that I had made into an "office". The small, eight-by-eight room only had three pieces of furniture; a desk, a chair and a two-drawer filing cabinet. This is where I spend time, managing my stocks and paying any bills. But I can only hide away for so long before Emmett will come looking for me.

After being alone for so damn long, I wasn't prepared for everything that is Emmett. I guess when all you have ever done is fuck a person, certain characteristics might come as quite a surprise when you start living with them; like never realizing that the person you are sticking your dick into doesn't have anything close to the personality that you thought he did. I always assumed Emmett was a wise, but arrogant, self-assured, playboy. Honestly, it turns out Emmett is needy, obtuse and kind of feminine for being bi.

Emmett constantly needs me to confirm that he looks good, he's doing something correct or he is making the right decisions, and he isn't very self-sufficient. He doesn't have any idea how to cook, do laundry, or shop for groceries, which is a definite byproduct of him living with his mom at the age of twenty-two, but these things shouldn't bother me. I should be willing to help…glad to in most cases, but mainly, I am just annoyed that I have to teach him basic things that he should have learned a long time ago.

And I thought that _I_ didn't have any aspirations, but Emmett has shown me differently. I actually have a plan to do something with my life, I just don't know exactly what that plan is yet. Emmett has no desire to do anything besides have sex, play video games, give and receive facials and pedicures, and work out.

Even though I find myself wanting to throttle Emmett most of the time, I still care enough about him, not to want to hurt his feelings, but I've recognized that over the last few weeks that our relationship is suited more for friendship…with benefits. I don't care about Emmett the way I should, or the way he deserves.

Emmett throws an overstuffed duffel on the couch next to me, and sighs in relief when he notices that I have put Bessie down. I stare at his bag, guiltily wishing it contained all of his belongings, and not just enough to get him through a single weekend.

Emmett ambles over to me, and bends down. He pulls my knees apart, so he can rest his abdomen against the edge of the sofa, as he leans into me. His arms are braced on both sides of my thighs as he inclines in, for a kiss. The faint taste of syrup lingers on his mouth from breakfast. Enjoying the flavor, I move in a little closer to him and swirl my tongue against his lips.

As always, Emmett misinterprets my somber mood. "Are you sure you don't want to come? You don't have to go to the wedding. You can just hang out at my parent's house for that evening. I know you'd like Seattle…please." His voice and eyes, like his words, are pleading with me to reconsider, but I can't find it in me to care enough to change my mind.

No, I need this weekend. I have plans.

It doesn't escape my notice that Emmett tries to manipulate me. He subtly attempts to convince me of things, by putting his ideas into my head, and then making it seem like it was my idea originally. I have to admit he is really good at it.

Unfortunately, I didn't realize until after _Love at First Sight_ what he had been up to. I had not only allowed him to convince me that Edward wouldn't want me; I also invited him into my house. Actually he invited himself, but he had sagaciously made it seem like it was my idea in the end.

I don't blame Emmett. If I would have paid more attention to him…if my thoughts hadn't been consumed with Edward than I would have figured out what he was doing. Instead, I had basically given him permission to influence all of my decisions.

No, all the blame fell on me. I believed Emmett without verifying with Edward what his intentions were. It's not that I didn't think I was worthy. Emmett didn't even seek to go that route with his arguments.

I know I am a catch, to anyone that can look past what I do for a living, that is. I don't have a humongous ego, even though I have a reason to. It takes a lot not to let success go to your head, so when I look for my self-worth I go straight to the source… what I know in my heart, and there is a lot to like about me. Like everyone else, I come with some baggage, but I have good looks, my own money, a great personality, I'm fun to be with, and I am pretty awesome in bed.

My dad had attempted long ago to destroy my self-esteem, with no success. And if he couldn't do it, than there isn't anybody that can.

No, Emmett had a different approach that day. He didn't try to tell me I wasn't good enough, because he is aware that I know better than that. He focused his attack on something that I didn't know…Edward, and when Emmett had leveled me with his suspicions, I was too afraid to confront Edward. I didn't want to hear him substantiate Emmett's doubts about his true feelings.

Emmett suggested that Edward wouldn't be interested in pursuing anything with me because I live too far away, and that I am getting close to leaving the porn world, or that I am too mature…too laid back for him. Edward is a wild child. He likes the nightlife and variety.

According to Emmett, Edward wouldn't have been interested in a monogamous relationship, and because I was too worried that my stubborn pride would take a hit, I let him walk away from me.

Thinking of Edward isn't improving my melancholy, so I center my thoughts on the person in front of me…the person that I know without a doubt wants to be with me, would remain faithful, miss me in his absence, and come home to me as soon as he can.

I push aside a healthy dose of shame from not being capable of sharing those feelings with him, which is why I need to be alone this weekend so badly. I have some hard decisions to make. I am so tired of not knowing what I want in life…and that includes, among other things, Emmett.

Emmett is searching my eyes for the answer to his question.

"Not this time baby." I am just pacifying him, and I know it is wrong, but I don't want to send him away on a bad note, just in case my conclusions from a weekend full of contemplation lead me in the direction of keeping Emmett around.

Maybe I can find out what's up my craw. It's possible that I just haven't given Emmett a fighting chance, and for all of his work, can't I exert more effort into making this relationship into something more tangible? I guess that remains to be seen, but it gives me hope that this relationship isn't really quite dead in the water yet.

I finally find my first genuine smile of the day, and it only took until about noon. Damn, really, what kind of saint is he for putting up with all of this? Anyone else would have run for the hills after the first week, but Emmett has stuck around, while I had just moped. It hardly seems like a worthwhile endeavor for him.

I lay my palm along his cheek, as I dip in for another kiss…a longer, sweeter one. As the kiss deepens flashes of bronze and emerald warm me. I have done such a good job of not thinking of Edward when I have control, but when I let it go just for a minute, pictures…quick images…appear, finding its way through the cracks in my armor.

Most often times, it happens during sex with Emmett. I try to push them back in to my subconscious, not wanting to taint the act. It works well throughout the event, but in the end, through my release, a very brief snapshot of Edward underneath me always appears, and not my live-in boyfriend.

However, the last few times, when I felt my stomach tighten and I knew what was coming, I prevented the usual visions by imagining inane things, like sports and good food. It was an accomplishment that I didn't see visions of Edward, but it ruined the orgasm, which consisted of nothing more than a series of feeble tremors that elicited an equally weak sigh.

I begin to steel myself against those images now, not wanting our goodbye to be contaminated with thoughts of another boy. Because of my inner battle I am unaware that my kisses have become more vigorous and carnal. My open mouth trails along his jaw, and down his neck.

My mind is oddly consumed by a sculpture, and even though I am not sure why, I am forever thankful that I finally manage to get Edward's image out of my head. The sculpture was "The Thinker", a man sitting on a pedestal in serious thought. I consider this appropriate content, assuming this represents me, and what this weekend will entail.

Emmett's hands roam my back, as I watch the mental struggle of the man made of marble. The statue is outside in a meadow, a small clearing with nothing but trees surrounding it. I know this place, but it is different somehow. My breath hitches when I realize that it is the small clearing that I had found when I first moved to Corpus. It is only a few miles away from here, and I had found it one day while riding through some old trails on my Ducati.

As the scene plays out in my head, Emmett and I tear each other's shirts off simultaneously. I attach my teeth onto his neck, biting hard as a strong wind shakes the scene in my dream. Emmett lets out a yelp and digs his nails into my back as he grasps onto me like his life depends on it.

I realize now that the reason that I hadn't recognized the meadow right away is because the surrounding foliage was wrought with autumn colors, and since trees in these parts didn't go through the process of changing colors like they did in the North, I had never saw my meadow in this form.

I am panting as my hands frantically work Emmett's belt open. Finally, my clumsy fingers dismantle it. I reach for the button of his fly, but Emmett pulls my hair at the nape until I am forced to lie on the couch. He rises, and looks down at me through hooded lids, as he works with his own denim. In seconds, he stands fully naked and aroused in front of me. I can't explain my emotions or why I feel the way I do, I just know that I need to get inside of him…fill him completely. I need to feel him sheathe me in his heat, as I rocket toward a climax I just know is going to surpass any other that I have had since Emmett moved in.

I reach up and grab a hold of his hard-on, begging for relief from this ache. I don't know if my grip is too tight, but Emmett emits a feral growl and brushes my hand away, so that he can gain access to my jeans. I shut my eyes as he works the material down my legs. I hear him drop down onto his knees in front of me, worshipping the planes of my chest and abdomen with his hands. He contradicts himself by moving slowly, almost reverently, in one sweep and a keen need in the next.

Mentally, the vibrant Fall colors encase the sculpture. The wind picks up, bending the trees, bearing down on the man so deep in concentration that he is unaware of the storm that is taking place around him. Physically, Emmett has my cock in his mouth and he it is sucking it with verve. My hips bounce up and down off the couch as I meet his mouth for each thrust, but this isn't near enough to satisfy me.

I pull myself up, and throw Emmett over the couch. He positions himself with one knee on the seat cushion, and bends over so his elbows rest on the arm of the sofa. Emmett has already saturated my dick with his mouth, so I am slick with his spit, which is a good thing, since I had no such thoughts of searching for lube.

In spite of the corporeal act with Emmett, I am drowning in my vision. A darkened sky is the ominous sign of a storm brewing of epic proportions. So, as I wait, I enter and withdraw slowly; feeling the massive current flow through my body as I languorously repeat my penetration in Emmett's tight hole over and over again. I do this in a lackadaisical kind of way, but it is just a façade, because like my visual, this is just the calm before the storm.

I am too involved in the images to abandon it now. My frantic mind wonders what is going to happen to the man so apparently oblivious to everything going on around him. If this statue of "The Thinker" signifies me, I need to know how my subconscious plans for this to end.

As if my thoughts could spur Mother Nature, the howling of the wind and the rustling of half dead leaves fill my ears, and between the heat running through my body from being buried in Emmett's ass, to the fear building up in my chest from the sight before my closed eyes, I am close to hyperventilating, as my heart beats wildly. My imagination is vivid on a normal basis, but this seems to go beyond anything I had previously ever envisioned.

The speed of my thrusts into Emmett increase dramatically as the wind accelerates to dangerous levels in my visualization, slanting the trees, ripping the remaining leaves from their stems, but the statue remains still, unmoved, and assumingly, unaffected by the torrent surrounding it. "Fuck!" I yell as I lose any inkling of control that I might have had from the havoc ruling my body and mind.

I feel like I am on an acid trip, but it just seems so real, I know it's not, but like a bad dream I can't wake myself up. _Why is this happening?_ I'm just in too deep, and I feel as if I am truly in that scene, ready to be blown away or crushed with a tree at any given moment. I know very well that this is just something that I made up but a gush of emotions, including the fear of not surviving this typhoon overtakes me.

Emmett is completely unaware of the improvised chaos going on in my head, as he groans out his pleasure of being fucked well and hard. But for me, fallen leaves whirl around violently, until the figure of the sculpture can barely be seen. The wind sounds like a freight train in my head while I can see nothing more of the man, just hues of swirling red, orange, gold and brown.

_Is he gone? Where is he? _

I pump in and out frantically, as I feel close to passing out from all of the mayhem surrounding me. I feel the sweat pour down my face, and over the ripples of my stomach, as I flex the muscle, plunging desperately in and out of Emmett, searching for an outlet to this tumult.

Suddenly and unexpectedly, the wind stops on a dime. The sculpture stands there, in pristine form…unharmed. The trees around it are bare, as all the beautiful colored leaves now encircle the man. Just as I am about to come to my senses, the statue becomes human, and he lifts head to reveal the most vivid green eyes that I have ever seen.

"Oh God…no…" I whisper breathlessly; as I watch the multi-colored leaves mix together into a soft coppery background, and the eyes, burning emerald embers, bore into me. It is not much longer before everything blends collectively, and a solemn Edward emerges. His expression appears to be waiting for an answer that I don't have the question to. I repeat my useless plea helplessly, as I am finally thrust into the throes of an orgasm.

My hips spasm, and my head falls back, as each wave of pleasure and pain blasts through me, rendering me incapacitated until the erotic tempest decides to relinquish its impenetrable hold.

At some point during the climax my arms must have given way, because as I become coherent I find myself laying against Emmett's back. I push myself up, uncomfortable with a ginormous amount of guilt weighing on me.

_Why can't I stop thinking about him?_

Apparently, that is the consequence of what happens when you try not to think about something, or someone, for too long. It comes back, full force, in an unanticipated way, at an unexpected time, and with a level of intensity you didn't think was possible.

"Holy shit." Emmett stands slowly, obviously sore from the pounding that he just received. _Fuck. How can I have done that?_

"I'm so sorry, I…I don't know what happened…" I trail off, as the blatant lie makes my throat close up.

He turns to me, and pulls me into a bear hug. "What're you talking about? That was the best sex I think I have ever had." He wipes his brow. "That was fucking craziness."

"Fucking craziness." I confirm, full of unwavering remorse.

XXXXX

I should have known I would come here.

I get off my bike and stand in my meadow, staring at the center of the clearing where the statue, in my vision, had been situated. I sit down crossing my legs, Indian style. I pick at the grass underneath my fingertips absently, as I try to come to grips with what has happened to me since I met Edward Cullen.

_Edward_. His name still brought a dull ache to my chest. He may seem insignificant in the scheme of things, but those less than twenty-four hours with Edward altered something for me. He made me see that I want more, which I should be grateful to him for.

It's cool that I finally desire a relationship badly enough to take the steps to acquire it, but now that I have it, it isn't what I expected. Emmett does everything he is supposed to do, but he just doesn't fit the bill. Is it just him? If so, will someone else suffice, or will I always be searching for the unattainable? It's clear that I had fallen too hard, and too fast for Edward, and frighteningly, it doesn't seem like anyone else is ever going to measure up.

I search for a viable solution that can make this work with Emmett. It's very frustrating, because I just don't understand that if you want to solve a jigsaw puzzle bad enough, and all the pieces are right there in front of you, how can a result continue to escape you? I have tried to connect every piece into one another, at all angles, but they just don't fit. I could force them together but then the picture wouldn't come out as nicely. Pieces would be mangled and wrinkled, the fissures more visible, making the picture look distorted and unattractive.

_Is my relationship with Emmett disfigured?_

I would be a moron if I didn't recognize that my lack of response to Emmett has something to do with Edward. I have tried to not think of him this last month, and I had felt like I was successfully completing this mission, but yesterday it imploded in my face. I am not over Edward, and I am not moving on, as I had up until recently suspected.

I am a master at evading. My theory has always been that if I don't acknowledge my problems than they don't really exist. I have lived with this method for so long, but I am starting to understand, that these problems that I had chosen to ignore are actually shaping my existence. What happened with Emmett yesterday was figuratively the straw that broke the camel's back.

Love at first sight. I just can't fucking believe it. I never thought it was possible.

Maybe I am blowing this out of proportion. Maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that bullshit. Maybe I embellished all of the memories to make them appear that it had all implied more than they really did. Maybe Edward isn't that hot, maybe he isn't that fun, and that nice. Maybe he really doesn't mean a lot to me. Maybe Keanu Reeves and Pauly Shore are really good actors. Maybe American Idol actually has good talent this year.

Goddammit. The point is, that these "maybe's" could fuel a trip to a fucking asylum.

This is all my damn fault. Edward gave me indescript signs, Emmett boldly refuted them and it was my prerogative to believe Emmett, instead of asking Edward for clarification.

Edward gave me those answers when I arrived at the airport and found him. He confirmed what I thought he had been saying in so many words. Everything that had previously seemed so unclear, Edward made perfectly apparent. He pretty much set his feelings on a platter for me, and I unflinchingly refused them all.

I had to be the smart one…the one with the level head. I had to see things for what they really were. I had to be the mature one. I had to be the one to turn down his advances, and I was fucking bitter that I was placed in charge of that distasteful responsibility. Why did I have to be the grown up?

I regretted the rejection instantly, and when I watched him walk away from me, voluntarily turning his back on me...and walking straight out of my life…it fucking killed me.

I shouldn't have let Emmett hold me back when I wanted to run after Edward as he was boarding the plane. I had started to take steps toward him, but Emmett's big strong hands were right there to force me back into his chest. I wanted to scream for Edward, but Emmett's whispered words stopped any utterance I would have made. "Jasper, don't embarrass yourself. He doesn't want or a relationship at this point. Do you both a favor, and let him go."

I am aware that Emmett was wrong for stopping me, but I had to give him a shitload of credit for it. He had more balls than I did. He went after what he wanted, regardless of what it took to get it, and I just let my heart's desire go. What Emmett had done had actually reinforced my decision to bring him into my home. If he was willing to go through all of that to be with me, than why not…right?

At least that is what I thought then, but even if I hadn't chose to believe Emmett or went after Edward at the airport, it didn't change what was the right thing to do.

Edward and I are like night and day. I didn't need Emmett to spell out our differences to me. We are moving in completely opposite directions, so much so, that I can't even think of a compromise that would have been fair to either one of us, someone would have ended up very unhappy.

Before I realize it, I had wasted away the afternoon in the meadow. I climb on my motorcycle and make my way back home to prepare my favorite meal for dinner, my Aunt Leah's recipe for lasagna and garlic French bread.

I make enough so Emmett can have some when he returns.

I sigh heavily, as I sit in front of my empty plate with the morose thought that I haven't even speculated about how Emmett is doing this weekend. He had called when he arrived at his parent's house yesterday, and he called again this morning, but said that they had so many activities planned that he probably wouldn't talk to me until he left for the airport tomorrow.

It hadn't even occurred to me to wonder about his busy day. He even told me that two guys in the wedding party are gay, one being an ex-boyfriend, and I couldn't even garner up an ounce of jealousy. I pull my hands through my hair in frustration. _What have I done?_ I push away from the table in irritation and wander over to my DVD cabinet, looking for something to temporarily take my mind off my woes.

Emmett hates war movies, so I put on one of my favorites, _Saving Private Ryan_, and sit in front of the tube with a tumbler full of Jameson's, a favorite of my father's.

By the time the credits are rolling on the film I had consumed four glasses of the Irish whiskey. I meander to my computer and stare at the black screen.

I shouldn't…but, in my weakened state, there is no denying myself. _I have done enough of that already,_ I reason. So, I break down, and pull Edward up on Facebook. To my consternation I find that he doesn't allow anyone to look at his profile that isn't a friend, but I am thrown through a loop when I see that his profile picture is of the one I took of him in front of the volcano, at the Mirage.

Edward is a model. He had a fuckton of professionally taken pictures that enhance his eyes, accentuate his masculine jawline, highlight his famous crooked smile, and celebrate his beauty.

Instead he chose a picture that _I_ had taken of him. A photo that had a goofy grin on his face, a sun burnt nose, and a stain on his shirt from where he had dripped ice cream all over himself while we were looking down on the strip from the Stratosphere.

_Why?_ Why did he choose this picture? Did he use this pic because _I _took it? Was I reading too much into it? What would happen if I just sent him a quick message?

"Ugh," I shiver, as I quickly navigate away from his profile.

But regrettably, it is too late. Opening his Facebook page, also opened a door to questions that I had firmly locked, bolted and put a dresser in front of to keep shut, but now that it is open I can't stop the flow.

What is he doing right now? Has he forgotten me? Does he still have feelings for me? If he had, there are ways he could have gotten a hold of me, too…but I really didn't leave him an opening for that, did I?

I mean, how many times can I expect Edward to put himself out there for me? Seriously, I couldn't even do it once, and that was even when I am almost sure he would have welcomed it.

I am brought out of my thoughts by the sound of Buckcherry's, _For the Movies_, which is my ring tone for anonymous phone calls.

I look at the caller id. Tanya? Interesting.

"Hey, Tanya." I hate when people answer the phone like they don't know who it is that's calling.

"Hi, Jazz! How are ya sweetie?" I can tell by her tone that she is smiling. When I first had the pleasure of working with Felix and Tanya I thought that I had a small crush on her, which is rare, because I don't find too many girls that I even hold a slight attraction to, but Tanya is an undeniably beautiful woman, and her vivacious personality just adds to that beauty.

But once I realized there is a possibility that Felix and her have something going on, I backed off. These two are like no other in the industry. They hold everyone that works for them in high regard, and they give concessions to their employees that other executives would deem laughable. I have a lot of respect for them; so needless to say, my crush on her died a quick and quiet death, as our business relationship developed.

"I'm doing good. What's up?"

"Well, we have a new project coming up, and the budgets higher, so the pay will be better. We actually got more funding because of the cast."

"What are you doing?" I ask, slightly intrigued. Emmett and I had discussed getting out of the business immediately, but no decision had ever been made.

"It is all-pro! It is a star line up, Jazzy. The best of the best. Eight of the hottest in porn." Tanya says excitedly.

_Wow._ This would be a great ending to a primarily satisfying career, but I can also argue that so was _Love at First Sight_.

"We thought maybe you could do a scene with Emmett. I talk to Emmett this afternoon and he was all for it. He said that you two are seeing each other now. I figured we could introduce it that way. People are suckers for…"

"No. I am not interested." I interrupt. The more that I think about it, I can't think of a better way to end my career than to have Edward be my grand finale. I am about to explain to her that _Love at First Sight_ was my last film, but she speaks before I can.

"Jas, c'mon. This is the _best_ of the fucking _best_! If you're not in it, then we won't have the top the porn industry has to offer. The money is going to be fabulous for this piece, and it is being filmed in Jamaica. _Come. On._ Jamaica for christsakes!!" Her voice shakes, as if she is jumping up and down with excitement as she speaks.

So, they want the best of the best? Well, than who am I to refuse them?

"Fine, I'll do it."

I can hear Tanya clapping in the background. She must have her headset on. "Jas, that is fantastic. You and…"

"I want Edward."

"What?" She asks, but I don't repeat myself, because we both know that she heard me the first time. There is a pause on the line, and I remain quiet, ready for an attack, because there will be no other way.

"Jas, that scene with you two turned out hot, just wait until you see it, but…but Edward is new…he isn't widely recognized yet." I can practically hear the wheels turning in her head, as she speaks slowly, trying to understand why I am asking for him.

"I won't do it without Edward, so figure out how important it is to you that I'm in it, and make your decision. I am fine with either way."

"Jasper, I have nothing against working with both you and Edward again, but I am not sure this is the gig for it. What is your boyfriend going to say about this?"

"Don't worry about Emmett. I will handle him, but if you decide to accept my prerequisite I suggest that you don't tell Edward that it was by my request."

"Why not?" She inquires wearily.

"Umm…we didn't part on the best of terms."

"Jesus, fuck." Tanya curses into the phone. "Let me talk with Felix about it."

XXXXX

It is Tuesday night, and I have yet to discuss my conversation that I had with Tanya to Emmett. I figure that if Felix and Tanya agree that Edward will not do, or Edward says an unequivocal "no", which is highly likely, than there will be no need to tell Emmett what had transpired.

However, as soon as I do hear from Tanya, Emmett and I will be having a conversation. I _will_ be breaking it off with him, regardless, I just don't know if I need to add the piece about Edward yet or not.

The discussion about the new movie had been brought up, but I told him I had to think about it.

I have been faking sickness, so I haven't had sex with Emmett since he returned from Washington. I know I can't put it off for too much longer. Emmett is extremely sexual, and he has already complained that it has been almost a week since our last time. He is restless to regain the passion that we experienced during our last encounter.

I haven't had a problem convincing Emmett of my illness since I have been walking around the house a nervous wreck ever since I last talked to Tanya. So, it is with no surprise that when Buckcherry's song blares from my cell's speaker that I jump anxiously.

I rush to my phone and I see that is Tanya. A quiver of anticipation, fear and desire shakes my frame. I am aware that the chances are slim to none, but now that the idea of having Edward again has become plausible, all of the feelings that he had brought forth in that one day came back in a rush. I squeeze my eyes shut briefly, gathering the courage to press the green button.

"Hello, Tanya." I say breathlessly into the phone, not able to fully find my voice.

Her two simple words turn my world upside down.

"He's in."

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**AN: Thanks for reading and putting up with my crazy lemon. I do that once in a while, because writing lemons can get a little boring. I have to admit though, that I usually wait until I am a little deeper into the story before I pull out my weirdo tendencies, but who really wanted a full out lemon with Emmett anyway? Yuck.**

**Thanks again, and as always your comments are greatly appreciated.**


	6. Hedonism

**AN: Thanks for reading my little fic.**

**QueenBeta Cullen818 rocks my socks, and I am lucky to have her, as she just reminded me today. *Smiles* I like you too bb.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. Please do not read this if you are not 18 or older.**

* * *

**Chapter 6 - (EPOV)**

Where had I gone wrong?

I stare at the picture on my laptop in confusion. The couple in the picture look happy…look like they were impossibly in love. They look like they just…belong together. I am not dense, so what key element am I missing here?

I slam the laptop shut in aggravation, and scare the old man sitting in the seat next to me. "Sorry." I mutter, and look out the little window of the _Air Jamaica_ jet.

I can't stand to look at the picture with me and Jasper anymore. I had opened the photo after we were safely in the air, and I have been staring at it ever since, and we are now two goddamn hours into the journey. Why am I still obsessing over this…over him?

I had vowed that when I got the pictures developed I would throw the pictures of Jasper away pronto. When that didn't happen, I promised myself that I would never look at them, and when that failed miserably, I broke down and added the fuckers to my laptop for convenience.

But, how had I been so dead wrong about his feelings for me still evades me. Did I just dream the whole two days up? The caresses? The looks? The words? I think I am a pretty savvy individual, but Jasper makes me feel dumb, because the boy is such a mystery to me.

I attempted not to think about him after I arrived back home, and I thought I was doing a pretty fine job until I realized one day about a month ago that every guy that I was bringing home all had blond hair and blue eyes, which is real fucking hilarious since the last time I checked I still liked variety, but once I had realized that I was trying to screw Jasper over and over again I put an end to it, choosing to focus more on my studies. I have been taking general classes at Northwestern University, so that I can have some type of career after I got too old for porn.

Since I discovered that I had been bringing home imitation Jasper's, I only slept with one other guy. It was shortly after Tanya had called with her offer for the part, the boy had been tall and dark, and I welcomed the change.

When Tanya had phoned with more information on the date, and agenda, she also advised as to whom the rest of the cast would be, and that had veered my fantasies in a new direction…Seth Clearwater; jet black, shoulder length hair, piercing blue eyes, dark smooth skin and a big fucking dick.

Oh yes, many, many of my acute wank sessions had included Seth. Getting the chance to meet him made me set all my doubts aside about seeing Jasper again.

I have one obstacle with Seth, and that he is normally a bottom, but I am pretty sure he went both ways when the prospect was enticing enough. I know if I turn on the charm I can get him to fuck me.

And speaking of a perfect opportunity, it would also demonstrate to Jasper that his lily white dick was yesterday's news.

Actually, Jasper's dick is the perfect size, shape and color, but the statement did serve as a good euphemism, so whatever.

I so badly wanted to say that under no uncertain terms would I ever work with Jasper again, but when would I ever get a chance to work with this level of talent the edge of retirement, which leaves me to wonder , yet again…why did they want _me_ in this movie? Had Jasper and I looked that good, that they wanted a repeat performance? Even if that is the case there would be other movies, not one's engrained with an entire cast of pro's. In any case, I am sure I will find out the answer to all of my questions once I get there.

I also wonder what kind of reception I will get from the professionals.

From what I understand, Seth will be matched up with Embry Call, and Seth is actually topping for the monumental occasion. These two look like brothers, and rumor has it that they are nemeses in the sport. I guess, always being compared to someone else that looks a lot like you, and came into the industry about the same time , would bring out a competitive nature. According to the stats thus far, Seth is winning their little battle, and I am definitely agreeing with the masses there. Embry seems like an asshole yuppie. Seth, on the other hand, just looks friendlier…more likeable than his unapproachable counterpart. I just hope that Embry likes it hard because I have a feeling that Seth will be tearing his ass up.

I am thrilled to hear that I will once again be seeing James. James is going to be paired up with Marcus De Luca. Marcus is an Italian god. He is the oldest out of the bunch , at the old age of twenty-seven. I believe that he actually came out of retirement for this. I haven't seen his name out there for a while, and I keep up with the shit enough to have a good idea that my theory seems more than plausible.

I pulled up a vid last week of a previous encounter that Marcus and James had, and whew, it was hot, but the from what I hear, for this film, James will be accepting the cock; giving up his usual M.O of penetrator extraordinaire. The only other time I have ever saw James bottoming was for Jasper. Yeah , there was no hesitation when I arrived home to open the film that James had mentioned them doing together in Vegas. I didn't think I could avoid watching _Cum Home, _so instead of the annoying constant internal debate on whether I should watch it or not was bypassed by just watching the damn thing straight away.

Jasper, on screen, in action is a fucking sight to behold. It makes me anxious to see my debut into the porn world. I wanted to see if I gave Jasper more than James did, but I figure that I must have done something right to get me here.

I had been tempted to ask Tanya if she could switch me with Marcus. It isn't necessarily because I want to do James so badly, but I just want to stay away from another interaction with Jasper. In the end, I hadn't wanted to rock the boat, and if I am able to admit anything at all to myself, the chance of going at it with Jasper again holds more than its share of appeal.

The last two are Aro Brenner and, my fav fag, Emmett. Aro has probably participated in more films and videos than the rest of the guys put together. He is average in looks, but has a long, smooth sexy dick, that makes up for his lack of aesthetics, and he works that cock to its utmost potential.

Naturally, I wonder why Tanya and Felix did not pair up Jasper and Emmett. The question is still on my mind. I shouldn't care, but my traitor heart be damned, I fucking did. I want the reason to be that they never did get together, but I guess I will find out the reasoning soon enough. At any rate, I am not looking forward to seeing buttface again.

But declining the invitation wasn't an option, so I am stuck with Jasper. However, after I realized that I would be face-to-face with Sunshine again, I swore I would show him nothing but indifference. So, I set about figuring out how I could show him that I was so over that little scenario in Vegas.

I will be totally cool and blasé the whole week. I won't give him the time of day until we do the scene. I will flirt with everyone around; make sure he realizes how little I care about him, and after all that, he can eat my ass…oohh, seriously, I hope that's in the plan, because, on a side note , that would be so fucking hot! I wonder if they'll have a suggestion box, so that I can anonymously put that little bug in their ear.

No, I will not be the naïve lovesick fool that Jasper had seen previously, but apparently, I still to work on that before the plane lands because when I open the laptop, and see the damn photo on the screen I sigh like a schoolgirl.

_Jesus, I'm weak. _But I have faith that I will pull it together before I see him again.

I finally navigate away from the picture to look at the Jamaican resort's homepage…_Hedonism_. What better place can there possibly be for filming this movie?

The Hedonism resort offers all of the amenities one needs to have a fan-fuck-tastic time. This week is promising to be seven days filled with pure, unadulterated debauchery. I convince myself that just because I have to work with Jasper again, doesn't mean that I can't find some other entertainment elsewhere.

I don't plan on putting all my eggs in one basket with Seth. I am planning on getting around that resort, so that I won't be forced to spend any unnecessary time with, or around, Jasper. I lean back in my seat and focus on the pleasures that await me in Jamaica.

The landing is smooth, and we arrive right on schedule. I give myself a short, but I think effective, pep talk before sauntering off of the jet. My instructions are to find the vans located at the airports exit, and hop on the one specifically designated for _Hedonism_.

I am struck by the sun, and heat, as soon as I walk out onto the deck of the aircraft. I can already feel the perspiration accumulating on my brow as I follow the steps down to the open airport, which literally looks like a carport. Back home the weather in March is still freezing, so this is kind of a shock to the system.

My sunglasses are packed in the luggage that I had checked, so I create a visor over my eyes, and find the next shock to my system. Jasper.

_Jasper?_

He is here…waiting for me?

I about melt, and it no longer has anything to do with the heat. _Fuck!_ He looks stunning in his casual, sleeveless t-shirt, and his hands stuffed into his khaki shorts. His eyes are covered with tinted sunglasses, and I am too far away to translate the expression on his face. I take a glimpse around to see if I recognize anyone else, and I find none.

He came alone.

I should walk right passed him. I should snub him right off the bat, but like all my intentions where he is concerned I walk straight up to him and stop about five paces away.

We stand staring at each other, as something brilliantly flippant to say eludes me. Then suddenly, all it takes is one step forward from him, a drop of a bag from me, and just like that we are wrapped in each other's arms.

_Click. Click. Boom. _

Mouths meld, teeth clang, tongues duel, hands search, and grasp tightly on the thin cotton of our t-shirts. What the hell is happening? I don't have a fucking clue. But the storm will not calm until all my cruel plans of a cool greeting are destroyed in its wake.

Needing air, we break away, but just enough so that our mouths are touching, and our ragged breath is captured in each other's mouth. His hands are tight in my hair, while mine roam the expanse of his back urgently.

"I'm supposed to be mad at you." I whisper heatedly, against his supple lips.

He presses his forehead to mine and nods his head. "I would deserve it."

I pull my head back sharply and look into his eyes for sarcasm, but all I see is regret.

When I had pulled away his hands had slid from my hair and onto my neck. He, now, caresses the area there. "I was a fool Edward, please let me make it up to you." His eyes search mine frantically. "Please."

Then he shakes my shoulders almost violently…

_wha…?_

"Sir? Sir? The plane has landed, you must wake up now." My eyes snap open at the sound of the strange voice, and it takes me a minute to find my bearings, and realize I am on still on the plane…by myself.

Son of a _motherfucking bitch_! I want to stomp my feet, and act like a petulant child. It was all just a dream?

I am the embodiment of patheticism.

When I exit the plane I look around immediately, and I find no familiar faces. I suppose I am left to find my own way there. I try not to get worked up over it...there wasn't supposed to be anyone here to begin with.

But there is no talking myself out of my slight depression as I make my way to the resort. Even thoughts of the week to come could lift my sour spirits.

_Stupid fucking dream._

When I arrive at the resort, I am led to the door of the conference room that actor's are supposed to meet in. I hesitate, and gather all my wits about me. With resolve, I heave open the door, and thrust myself in before I can back out of all of it.

I don't want to search the room for the memorable blond, but I can't stop my eyes from wandering the perimeter surreptitiously. I give up the pretense when I don't see him right away, and search with purpose. I see Tanya and Felix in the corner talking to Seth and Aro. Embry is sitting at a table, texting.

He isn't here.

I hadn't realized that I am panting until I feel the breath whoosh out of me as I am grabbed from behind in tight hug. I let out a big "oof", as I struggle to get air back into my lungs.

"Hey Eddie, what're you doing here?" I hear playfully in my ear, and I grow a wide smile at the familiar voice. I turn in his arms.

"Fancy meeting you here, sweet pants." I say with humor, and a toothy grin. James kisses me on the cheek heartily, and squeezes me tighter. Marcus stands behind James, and he watches our exchange with eyebrows raised. _Wonder what that is all about?_ I pull one of my arms out of James' embrace to extend it to him in greeting. Marcus eyes me suspiciously before he seems to figure something out and smiles. "Hey Edward. I'm Marcus."

"I know exactly who you are." I say with a wink. I hear the door open, and my head automatically moves in the direction of the noise, and in walks Jasper, as James has his hands all over me.

"Jasper, how are you honey?" Tanya approaches him, but Jasper's eyes flit over her , and survey the room until he finds me. Instinctually, I try to move from James' grasp, but he also sees Jasper, and holds on to me tighter, nuzzling my neck.

"He deserves this." James whispers in my ear. And he does. So I stay in James embrace, and actually do a little cuddling of my own. It feels awkward, because I never, ever cuddle, but who cares? Apparently, the mission is a success because Jasper looks hurt. _Good for him_.

He moves out of the doorway, and Emmett trails in behind him. "_Our_ plane was delayed like three fucking hours." Emmett barks out for all to hear.

_Our_. They are together.

The dagger plunges, and the heart bleeds. _Why do I continue to let him hurt me so?_

Emmett shuffles in, and starts handing out high fives, handshakes and hugs all around, making it very obvious that he is purposefully avoiding me, which is fine by me.

Jasper stands still, staring at his feet. His head slowly lifts, and his eyes shine with some unnamed emotion. Is it pity…remorse? Whatever the fuck it is I don't want it, but I can't lean on James the whole week. At some point, I have to stand on my own two feet. So, I pull away, but I continue to carry on conversation as best as I can.

We chat as Tanya and Felix solidify some of the plans for the week, and coordinate them with the forecast, since ninety percent of the filming will be outside. Jasper is slowly making his way around the room, and when he makes his way over to Seth I can't help but stare at the two of them together. To my knowledge, they have never worked together.

It seems like they are just sharing pleasantries, nothing too deep as Jasper grabs the back of his neck, and massages the muscle in awkwardness. I try to tear my eyes away, but I can't help but compare the two first.

Light versus dark. Jasper looks like a cougar lying lazily in the sunshine, and Seth looks like a wolf prowling in the night, both equally intimidating and beautiful, but standing next to each other, Jasper outshines Seth by a mile.

Do I really just have a crush like everyone had said? Since Jasper came into this room I haven't been able to focus on anything. I keep my eyes off of him, but I know where he is at every moment, and I am aware that, without looking, that he is finally making his way over to James, Marcus and I.

He acknowledges James first by exchanging a half handshake, half hug. He turns to Marcus and shakes his hand. It hasn't escaped my attention that he hasn't spoken yet, and it makes me yearn to hear his voice, to see if it as melodic as my memory has portrayed it to be.

"Saving the best for last Jas?" James taunts.

Jasper looks at me with unmistakable want. "Yes, actually." His sweet honeyed voice sends an unwanted shiver of pleasure to run down my spine. He swallows hard before he grabs my hand that is lying limply at my side. "Edward, you are looking breathtaking, as usual." Someone get me a fucking Q-tip, because there is no possible way I heard that correctly.

He takes a few hesitant steps toward me as I stand there like a fucking nimrod with my mouth and eyes wide. He has successfully stunned me speechless.

He tentatively wraps his arms around me. "I haven't stopped thinking about you." He whispers in my ear.

Bullshit. Or did he think about me while he fucked Emmett's fat ass?

My eyes wander to Jack-off. He is whispering to Embry and Aro with a disgusted look on his face, as his finger is boldly pointing right at me. I want to show him a finger of my own, and it takes all of my strength not to flip him the bird.

I pull away from Jasper. "I think your boyfriend is getting jealous." He stares at me intently before his hands reluctantly fall to his sides. The wounded look on his face doesn't make me feel as happy as it should; in fact, it hurts like a goddamn bitch. I look away before I change my mind and go all fangirl on him, jumping him like every ounce of me really wants to do.

I feel myself smiling at that thought. _Goddammit, stop fucking smiling_. This is not a kosher attitude to be having. But Jasper's small smile is infectious. It doesn't look like a gloating, "haha, you're not fucking over me" smile, it really looks genuine.

I recognize that I have to quickly get out of this tempting situation, so I finally excuse myself , and head for the black beauty so that I can put my master plan into action, but I really don't feel like flirting. The thought makes me kind of nauseous, but this is one of the steps needed to graduate from Jasper Rehab.

I approach Seth and extend my hand. "Hi Seth, I am Edward".

"Hey Edward." He sing-songs. "So very nice to meet you." He lisps, as his hands rise in a surrender formation. Holy Mother of God. Seth is a major faerie, and I never would have guessed it. Man, this guy was more fem than Pam Anderson. Just more ammunition to prove the stereotype created for us bottoms. By God, act like the man that you are.

Damn, how had I not noticed that previously? In my defense, he hadn't had very many speaking parts in his other films, and videos that I have witnessed.

He holds out his hand so his palm is down. I clutch his fingertips in a discomfited handshake, and release them almost immediately. He tsks and shakes his head, when I don't follow protocol by bringing his hand up for a kiss. I hope I don't look as dumbfounded as I feel.

Thank Felix for perfect fucking timing. "Okay guys, everyone take a seat so we can go over the details and rules for this week." The comment instigates moans and groans around the room. _Rules?_

I absently find a seat, and before I realize it I am sitting in a chair directly across from Emmett. I stare at him wearily. "Are you eye-fucking me?" He asks with astonished distaste.

I snort. "I'd gauge them out first." I say with equal malevolence.

Throughout the meeting Jasper keeps his eyes on me, trying to get me to make eye contact, but I stubbornly refuse, and when the meeting is over and I am given my room key I am the first one out the door.

I practically run to the room, and when I am safely in the confines, I throw myself on the bed and enjoy a fit of tantrum. I push my face into a pillow, and scream while I beat my hands and feet on the mattress repeatedly. After a minute or so I finally fall lax, the little fit exerting much more energy than I thought it ever would, and that is when I hear the clearing of a throat. _Fuck my life._

I turn to find Jasper watching me with a huge fucking grin on his face. It's beet red and I am pretty sure it is because he is trying, with difficulty, not to laugh out loud. I get up quickly and face off with him. I just can't take this anymore. Jasper had me on a roller coaster, and I hated those damn things with a passion. "What are you doing in my room?"

"Umm…this is my room too." Oh, _hell _no!

"There is no fucking way I am sharing a room with you." I try to stalk passed him, but he grabs onto my arm.

"Wait. Edward. Can't we talk? I really need to tell you some things. Please." His eyes plead along with his words, but I push away and run down the corridor in search of Tanya and Felix in hopes I can convince them of a change in accommodations.

I am just about to turn the corner that would lead me straight to the conference room that we just came out of, but I stop dead in my tracks when I hear Emmett talking to someone about me. I hear him whisper my name, and then it sounds like Aro who speaks. "Why did Tanya and Felix allow it, if it was me, I would have told him where to go."

"They really like Jasper, and he said he wouldn't do it without Edward."

"And they just allowed the ultimatum?" I hear Aro question. There is silence. Answer the question dipshit. Maybe he is trying to figure out what "ultimatum" means. I never met anyone that made a rock look smart before Emmett.

"Well, yeah. As soon as Jasper got the call, he broke it off with me. He tried to tell me that he was going to anyway, but I really don't think he would have."

"He doesn't look that special to me. Are you just going to let the twerp have him?" That is all I can take. I walk back to the room dejected. Jasper is the sole reason that I am here, and so far I have treated him like shit. He would have passed up the chance had Tanya and Felix not agreed to have me, and I don't know what that means.

I had already figured out that I am the odd ball in the group; the newbie in a room full of seasoned sexers. I wanted to think it was because they saw something special in me, but it made more sense that Jasper requested it.

I walk into the room to find Jasper sitting on the foot of the bed with his head in his hands. I didn't beat around the bush. "Why am I here?"

His head popped up at the sound of my voice and he jumped up. "What do you mean?" He asks evasively.

"It is a very simple question. Why am I here?"

"You know." He guesses. He sighs, and approaches me cautiously. He grabs onto my shoulders, and levels me with a look I can only describe as longing. I only recognized the expression so well because I have seen it so many times when I looked in the mirror the past couple of months.

"Why am I here?" I whisper.

He stares hard. "Because I needed to see you again. I want…" He pauses, as his eyes fill up with tears. "I need a second chance Edward. Please give me that." He shakes my shoulders slightly. "Please Edward. I couldn't think of anyone else that I wanted to share this experience with more." He begs, looking distraught, as he waits for the word.

I have to give him credit because he wasn't subtle there. He made it pretty clear that this deal is for the week only. I guess I should be happy that he isn't making promises he can't keep, or give false hope when there is none. He wants me…for the week, and I can take it or leave it.

Can I put my heart on standby, and put aside my better judgment just to have a hot fuckfest and hang out with someone that has inopportunely come to mean more to me than I did to him?

Dammit. Will I ever be able to make the right decision where he was concerned? Probably not, because not hell or high water can make me say no to this beautiful boy. A week will be good enough. I can be optimistic, and believe that maybe it will help me get over these undesirable feelings for him, and try to avoid the pessimistic side that believes I am just going to get more attached.

_Or_ I can just stop thinking all together, and kiss the damn guy. I'll deal with any consequences that may arise later when the time comes. Right now, this is where I want to be and who I want to be with, and I am not going to deny it anymore.

So instead of answering his question with words, I pull him to me by the nape of his neck and crash his lips to mine. His arms surround me, and hold fast, as his tongue bullies its way between my lips. _Oh fuck, this is what I have needed_.

Our tongues swirl and play with each other as our hands get reacquainted with each other's bodies. He pulls away a fraction, and whispers, "thank you" against my mouth. Then he whispers it again and again, until I can't take anymore, and I capture his lips with mine.

He breaks away long enough to discard my shirt. Our kiss grows wild, but his fingertips nonchalantly travel from the middle of my breast bone straight down to the tiny trail of coarse hair that led to a very aroused boner. He doesn't waste any time grabbing my junk firmly through my denim. "Ah fuck, Jas." I whisper against his swollen lips, as a sudden urge to taste the mouth that I had gone way too long without, overwhelms my senses. I scratch at the skin just above his nape, as I rape his mouth thoroughly, leaving no surface untouched.

He makes quick work of undoing my jeans, scraping my skin just below my belly button in his haste to get to the goods. I stop my assault on his mouth to utter a soft moan as a burning sensation rushes over the small abrasion. He immediately recognizes what he has done and drops to his knees. "I'm so sorry." He feathers small kisses along the injury, before he traces it with his tongue, and blows on it, numbing the pain effectively.

I wanted to just laugh it off, or just say it was okay, but I am astonished at the tender care he had just shown me. I know my mouth hangs open as he tends to the small scratch. His eyes leave the site of the scratch as they follow his fingers while he traces the white waistband of my army green boy shorts.

Back and forth, back and forth.

I groan in frustration, because my impatience has met its max, and I am teetering on the edge of lunacy. "For fucksakes, touch me already." My words snap him out of the trance he is in. He doesn't look up but I see the wide smile on his face. I want to ask him what he is thinking about, but I keep my mouth shut, opting to ask him later about his thoughts. Right now I just wish for my dick to be encased in his hot, wet mouth. "If you are trying to tease me, all I have to say is, paybacks are a bitch." I warn ominously.

He takes the threat seriously and pulls my undies and jeans down around my thighs. He immediately cradles the velvet length in his hand as he slides his scorching mouth along it, scraping it lightly with his teeth. He does this for several passes, before I finally give up on sanity. "Put it in your goddamn mouth." I growl.

So, he does…for about two fucking seconds, deep-throating it once before releasing it with a pop. "Say it again." I can feel his lips moving on the tip as he whispers his request.

"Oh, god Jas…suck my dick. Now!"

And that he does. He whirls his tongue all the way down, as he takes my full length into his mouth. His nose is buried in my manicured pubes before he slides back up, pumping my cock with his hand, as his mouth lazily makes its way back to the tip. He dives back down and repeats the process.

His head bobs, as he massages my perineum with his fingertips and cups and rolls my balls with the palm. My head falls back on my shoulders, and I push my hand through his soft blond waves. My hips move of their own volition, gyrating and pumping , meeting him thrust for thrust, as he takes my whole length down his throat. He swallows my dick and my stomach drops than tightens, as the searing pleasure seeps through my veins. The heat breaks my body out into a sweat. I start pumping faster, my movements become uncoordinated and choppy, and I start to feel the satisfying pressure emerge in my abdomen and then I remember something very fucking important. My muddled brain cannot remember what day Jasper and I film our scene.

"Oh my god Jas, can we cum?" I ask desperately.

He looks kind of surprised, that he had forgotten himself. Staying on his knees, he stops to pull out the work schedule that is folded in his back pocket. My cock immediately protests the loss of his sweet mouth; it throbs and jumps in anticipation, as I wait for him to pass on the verdict. "I don't know. I had my mind on other things, I wasn't paying much attention." He looks up at me with a smirk on his face, and then goes back to studying the paperwork in his hand.

I shift my weight from foot to foot, just like I did when I had to pee as a kid, but now, it is anxiety that caused the movement, because I am afraid that this will be all I will get. I will have to pull my pants back up over my hard-on, and suffer like I had so many times the first night Jasper and I were together. I am such a fucking moron, he hadn't even remembered. I just want to say, "Forget I mentioned it", but I know he won't.

_Please fucking tell me we can cum._

When Jasper's eyes lift to mine again, and I see the exquisite smile on his face I knew my answer is in the affirmative. "Thank fucking Jesus." I say breathlessly. He chuckles and grabs me by my hip bones so tha I rock toward him. I almost lose my balance and topple over onto him, but his fingers dig into me, holding me upright, but angled slightly toward him. He uses my unsteady position to push his face into my abdomen and gives me an award worthy zerbert. It extracts the most girly shriek I have probably ever heard come out of my mouth, Jasper rolls back on his feet, laughing at my reaction.

I wriggle out of his embrace, and stand back with my arms folded over my chest. "That is a real fucking turn-on Jas." I say with sarcasm, but can barely hold back the smile that is trying to break through.

His eyes have lost their mirth, as he stands up. "No, I'll show you something that is a turn-on." He pushes me back onto the bed, and I lay there on my back with nothing but my skivvies and jeans clinging to my thighs.

His eyes are smoldering, as he gazes down at me in a reverent manner. "That. Edward." He points at me. "That…is a turn-on. _You_ are a turn-on." He starts to remove his own clothing by pulling his shirt off, and tossing it carelessly to the floor. "You, Edward, are fucking gorgeous." He unbuttons his jeans, and lowers his zipper. He climbs on the bed, and crawls on his hands and knees toward me with the look of predator circling his prey…startling magnificent, and completely hypnotizing.

I start inching up the bed, so he won't reach me too soon. I am not done watching this side of Jasper. He continues to stalk me. "You've haunted me Edward…everyday for two fucking months." My head clanks against the headboard, so I wait for him to catch up, while I lay mesmerized by his seductive words, and his mouthwatering body in all its sinewy finery, as he travels the span of my body. His mouth hovers over my erection. "I can't wait to taste you again." This elicits a moan from me. His eyes dart up to mine, and he has a boyish look on his face. "Y'know, I have only swallowed a few times." He looks momentarily unsure of himself.

I know from past conversations with him that it appears that most of his sexual encounters were performed on screen, and I am well aware that you never swallow in porn, and I feel bad that all of his experiences are all for show.

He won't realize it, but I plan on showing him what it is to be with someone that truly cares for him. This will be a weeklong one-sided love affair.

I use my stomach muscles to pull myself up slightly and cradle his face in my hands. "I can't fucking wait for you to taste me again, Jas, because then it will be my turn." We both meet halfway to close the space between us for another blazing kiss. Jasper releases my lips, and looks down at my restless dick that twitches endlessly under his perusal. When his eyes lift back to mine, he has a mischievous spark to them, and his smile turns wicked. He pushes his palm into my chest so that my head falls back onto the pillow, and lowers his mouth to my aching cock.

He props my dick up with one finger, so that it is ready for lift off, and smiles as he sees the moisture that has collected at the tip. His tongue swipes at the slit, gathering the pearl on his tongue. He rolls it around in his mouth, taking his time to savor the flavor as he strokes my length with is forefinger and thumb, gently gliding it back and forth over the head. "Mmm, that was tasty Edward, but not nearly enough. I want you to give me a lot more." I nod vigorously in agreement. He pushes the skin at the base of my cock down, and the skin stretches over my arousal, making it even more sensitive. His tongue circles around the rim of my head, and then sucks my stiffy into his mouth. He almost pulls it out immediately, but stops at the tip, and wraps his lips around the knob, flicking the slit with his tongue, and watching me all the while.

I start to feel impatience well up in me once again. I buck my hips up into his waiting mouth. Before I can dish out any more threats, he sees my irritation has reached a boiling point, and envelopes my dick in his mouth. My moan is heartfelt; filled with pent up desire and agitation. I can see him grin around my cock and I can't wait to plan my own bit of revenge…ugh, but not now. Now…oh jeez…

He takes pity on me and begins to move quickly, dipping and rising, again and again. I decide to make this a joint venture, and not lay here like a dead fuck, so I circle my hips, flexing my ass on each undulation.

I'm getting really close, and I am about to warn him, but Jasper moans with my cock deep in his throat, and the vibrations shoot right through me initiating the longest, most intense orgasm of my life. I convulse with each shooting star that bursts inside my chest. I feel the pleasured pressure from each stream of hot liquid that spills down his throat in waves.

I would have really liked to have seen how much cum he had actually milked from me, because I knew I had to have given him a mouthful.

After I come down from my high, I realize that Jasper has taken the effort to clean me up and is looking pretty fucking satisfied with himself. _Bastard_. I take him by surprise when I tackle him so now his head is lying on the foot of the bed, and I am sitting in between his thighs. Our hands engage, and we wrestle with each other, until he gives in, and his arms go slack. I fall against his chest, knocking the breath out of both of us.

"You are so going to pay for that little display of torture."

He turns his head to the side, and gazes out the window overlooking the ocean absently, and I think I hear a small, "fuck" escape his lips, as I feel the twitching of his rock hard cock underneath me.

Yes, sir...paybacks...

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**AN: OK, so I was going to do this vacation/work trip in 1 to 2 chaps. HA, yeah…6600 words and barely got past introductions. So, yep…**

**Please review and let me know what you think so far.**


	7. Sharks

**AN: So, I added a pic to my profile page of a VERY important and prominent character coming up in this story. I am not going to try to guess what chapter that he may be introduced in since this story is already off schedule, but you have to go check this hottie out!! I was looking for a certain something, and it took me forever to find him but it was well worth the wait! I will warn you that if you like the Brad Pitt type or really muscly type this guy may not be for you, but he is perfect for the part in this story. I like lanky and sexy, and this boy has both. Click on the tweetphoto link in my profile.**

**OK, on with the chapter. **

**Cullen818 is the best beta EVER. Thanks for the special favor you did for me this weekend.**

**Disclaimers: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. This story is intended for mature audiences only, so please do not read if you are under 18.**

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**Chapter 7 - (EPOV)**

"That was just pure evil." Jasper says breathlessly, as I continue licking his tummy clean from the load he just spilled all over himself. Damn he tastes scrumptious. I know his essence has nothing to do with hygiene, but he tastes…clean.

I want more, but as I survey his stomach studiously, I can't find any more spurts of the tasty treat. I give up, and climb up to his chest, laying my cheek over his pec. "Yeah, well, you deserved it – and I am not just talking about today."

"I know." He whispers.

He shifts uncomfortably underneath me, and maneuvers himself so that he is lying on his side, and I am now lying on the inside of his bicep. He puts a finger under my chin, so that my eyes meet his. "The way I left you…without explaining…was just so wrong." His blue eyes are intense as they search mine for forgiveness.

"Tell me now." I say quietly, averting my eyes, so he can't see how deeply this affects me. I play with the edge of the blanket, in an effort to keep my eyes downcast from Jasper's keen appraisal. "Tell me what happened. I mean, it seems like you and Emmett have something going on, so why aren't you with him right now?"

"We don't have anything going on." He assures me. I look at him skeptically, and he concedes. "Well, we did, but it's over. I did want it to work with Emmett." I try to pull away from him, but he holds me in place.

_What am I? Second best?_

"Because it was easy, Edward…or so I thought, but it wasn't. It was a struggle everyday to maintain some semblance of a relationship when…" He cuts himself off and looks away, a slight blush crawling up his face.

"'When' what, Jas?"

He hesitates, and continues shyly. "When I realized I didn't want a watered down version of love, I want the real deal." He clears his throat. "…someday." He is looking at me strangely. I try not to decipher the expression, since I have been wrong on more than one occasion when it comes to Jasper, and a lesson I had learned quickly is that being wrong when it comes to Jasper causes acute and indescribable pain.

He gazes at me for a long moment, and then he sighs. "As soon as I found out that you would be doing the scene with me I told Emmett. Of course, he wondered why you were invited to be involved in something that was supposed to be labeled "all-stars", so I told him that I had asked for you. He flew off the handle." Jasper looks pained, as he travels back to another time and place, to recall something that clearly made him very uncomfortable and upset.

I rise up on my elbow and scoot closer, so I can massage his head, running my fingers through his hair repeatedly. His eyes are still far away as he continues. "He was hurt, Edward. I didn't blame him for some of the things he said; things I am not going to repeat, but eventually he stormed out, he found his way back home, and I shipped all of his things to him." Suddenly, I was madder than fucking hell. _What did that asshole say to Jasper?_ His hand comes up to caress my cheekbone lightly, and I immediately calm. Something no one else has ever been able to do, even my own mother.

"I hadn't seen him since then, well…until the flight. He called and said that he regretted how we had left things, that he wanted to talk to me in person, and asked if he could fly up the night before." My anger reaches a boiling point once more, as I realize that they spent the night together before they came here. I start to rise from the bed again, but Jasper pulls me back down, circling his arms around me from behind. "Don't." He whispers into my neck, as if he is reading my thoughts.

I school my features, but I keep my mouth shut because I am not promising a damn thing. Frankly, I have no idea if I can control myself when I see Emmett next...and Jasper, I don't know. How could he let him back in?

"I said "no" Edward. I wouldn't let him back in my house again, and the reason for that wasn't because I would have been tempted." He turns me, so that I am on my back, and he can climb on top of me.

Straddling me, he bends his upper half over me, and his hands come up to cup both of my cheeks. "I. Don't. Want. Him." He emphasizes each word, staring straight into my eyes. "I will never want him, and if an opportunity presents itself, I would never even work with him again. But I cared for him at one time Edward, I didn't want to leave things in such a bad state, so at least, in the hopes that we could balance some kind of strained friendship; I told him he could meet me in Florida since I had a connecting flight there. He did. He was there when I arrived; it was only supposed to be an hour layover, but after we boarded we were advised that there was issues with the plane. It took them three hours to change the fucking brakes, while I sat there and listen to Emmett's incessant rant."

"What happened during the layover?"

His hands run roughly against my jaw, and down my neck, over my chest. "Nothing happened, Edward. I barely listened to anything he was saying, I only thought about how close I was to seeing you again. He…he tried, again to convince me that me and him were meant to be together…and that me and you would be a big mistake." I stir underneath him, itching for a fucking fight. Even though I know Emmett would crush me to a pulp, I want to have a go at him. It would be worth it if I got a few good shots in before he pummeled me.

"Edward…I don't know what is going on between us…or what is going to happen. I won't lie…several people advised me that this is not a good idea, and I can't say that I am in complete disagreement, but all I know is that I want to be with you – here and now. I hope you want that too." He chuckles humorlessly. "If not, this week is going to be real torture."

He turns serious. "But whatever does come out of this week, I want to be your friend." He looks at me pleadingly. "And I know we do need to talk, but I am just really fucking happy to be with you right now and I…" I interrupt him by putting my index finger across his lips. Once he stops speaking I rub my fingertip along the soft, pink flesh, hypnotizing myself in the process.

We have a whole week to discuss the outcome of this, right now I just want to spend a week, with this beautiful boy, in this beautiful place, without wasting any more time talking about negative subjects. I lean up and give him a soft chaste kiss on the lips.

It isn't until he lets out a sigh of relief, that I realize that he had been waiting all along for my response, so it should be of no surprise when he deepens the kiss instantly, desperately searching for additional, non-verbal acquiesce by trying to locate my tongue to make sure it's been given the okay to participate.

He doesn't comprehend that he already has me.

Whatever part he wants, he can have.

When he apparently finds what he is looking for, the kiss softens, and turns completely seductive. My semi-erection turns full-fledged as he strokes my tongue roughly, but languidly, with his own.

My mind is in the process of going numb as he slowly grinds his pelvis against me. His hips slow dance over mine, creating a fuckton of delicious friction. I moan, and join his hips in rhythm, lifting and circling mine in time with his own alluring undulation.

He groans against my mouth and the vibrations from the guttural sound, sets another fire in me, taking my passion to a whole other level. My lips become urgent against his, and my body sings for him. Our naked cocks slide back and forth sinuously, but it's not enough. I still haven't had him inside of me, and suddenly I feel bereft, needing him to fill the hollowness inside of me.

In a moment of utter realization I know it's a hole only Jasper will be able to fill, and that scares me, especially since he appears to be against forming an intimate relationship after this week is over.

"Oh God, darlin', we have to stop." He murmurs against my cheek.

"Why???" We didn't film until Thursday. The torment surely wouldn't begin today…right? Thursday is five long, excruciating days away. There is no fucking way. I'm just saying.

He recognizes the terror and horror brought on by my own conclusions. He laughs, as he climbs off, and lies on his back next to me. "Oh Edward, you are such a fucking open book. I have honestly never seen anyone wear their heart on their sleeve like you do." He grabs my hand and brings it up to his mouth for a kiss. "Don't worry, darlin'. That isn't what I meant by having to stop. I am just saying that we should go down and get something to eat. I don't know about you, but I'm starving." He glances at me, and starts chuckling again. "Don't you want to check the place out? Maybe go for a swim or something?"

I look out the window and notice the sun is just about to set. I sit up quickly, and look at my watch…just how much time flew by while we've been reacquainting ourselves with each other? "It's 4:30?" I look outside again, not believing my eyes.

"Yeah, it gets dark here real early. It's nice though, you don't have to waste sunlight eating dinner, you eat after it gets dark."

I turn to him. "Have you been here before?"

"Nope. Umm…Emmett told me on the way here." He says bashfully.

_Emmett_. "Oh." I say disgustedly. Just the thought of that moron sours my mood. I have truthfully never abhorred anyone as much as I dislike him. I have known my share of haters. I am bold, beautiful and very open with my sexuality, so I have encountered many that saw me as a threat, but Emmett takes the cake.

I know it has everything to do with the boy sitting next to me. In any other situation, I believe wholeheartedly that I would be able to brush Emmett off, but every time I have an encounter with him he manages to get underneath my skin. It's all because I know what he has done to my Jasper…with my Jasper.

_My_ Jasper? _Fuck_. He isn't even close to being _mine_.

I am not even sure at this point if I can convince him of the merits of us coexisting as boyfriends. Too many people have gotten to him before me. I will have to spend some serious time thinking of the best strategy, until then, I have to drop the subject otherwise I take the risk of having him take steps backward, and that isn't gonna happen. There will be plenty of time to have this conversation this week.

One thing I do know, and that is, until I can make my case, I will make damn sure that I stick to Jasper like glue as much as possible, so I can abate some of the unsolicited advice that seems to be coming at him from all angles.

I sigh at the weight of that task, because it really means steering clear of pretty much everyone we know here. Which reminds me…

"It would have been nice to get a heads up about Seth."

Jasper bursts into a fit of laughter. "Oh Edward, your expression was priceless."

Damn, I had hoped that I kept my emotions hidden better, but Jasper could see them all the way from across the room. "Do you think he could tell?'

He pulls me back into his arms, so that I am lying against his chest again. He rubs slow circles on my back comfortingly. "What? That you were mortified by his feminism? No, darlin'." He soothes. "Seth thinks he is all that and more. The last thing he would have thought is that you would have been turned off by his…demeanor." His chest shakes with his silent laughter.

"I would have been able to hide it better had I known. I just never guessed." I explain.

"Well, you bottoms are all too girly." He jokes.

He had already braced himself for the imminent and immediate attack. I know he is just playing with me, so instead of smacking the grin off of his face, or punching him in the gut, I decide to solve a mystery, and see if he is ticklish.

And he is…very.

They can probably hear his howling two rooms away, which gets me thinking. "You don't think any of the others are in rooms close to us, do you?"

"No. If you would have hung around after you got your key, you would have known where everyone else is staying. We're all scattered on different floors. I don't know if they purposefully arranged it that way or what…" He shrugs, not really caring either way.

I am lying fully atop him now, and I am loving it. And it isn't in a sexual way either, even though I do love that we are practically the same height, so things line up perfectly. No, it is being in an intimate position, just talking and getting to know one another, that thrills me.

I love to communicate with Jasper. We had learned a lot about each other in Vegas, and there, we had found out that we had a lot in common, so I look forward to having more of these moments throughout the week.

"So, what is up with James and Marcus?" I ask, as I remember the way Marcus acted when James and I hugged.

His brows lift in surprise. "What do you mean?" He seems authentically taken aback by my question.

"You didn't notice?"

"I told you, I had my mind on other things." He grabs my ass and squeezes hard, causing my hips to gnash into his, but I am getting hungry too, so with a heavy sigh I get up and grab clothes to change for dinner.

"I don't know. You'll see. They look like they have something going on between them."

I sift through my luggage and through all of my new clothes. I had my friend, and next door neighbor, Mike, help me pick out my clothes for the trip. I wanted to make sure everything I brought made Jasper crazy with lust, but I absolutely loathed shopping.

I know nothing of name brands beyond what I like in t-shirts and jeans. Mike is a fashion designer, and without really having to say more, he is overtly gay, but we never hit it off in that way. From day one we had a silent understanding that we would have nothing more than a purely platonic association. He was excited about being given the duty to purchase all of my clothes, but not as eager about the budget, but all in all, at the end of the day, he seemed more than satisfied with my ensemble.

So, I pull out this black, with white pin stripes, polo-type shirt and black pants. I am not really sure how this was supposed to make Jasper die of unrequited desire, but since that really isn't the point anymore I mentally shrug, and meander absently into the bathroom to clean up, and try to tame my wild tresses.

After about fifteen minutes of the usual frustration, Jasper comes up behind me and locks his hands on my hip bones. He studies my labors through the mirror before he lets out a small laugh. "Give it up darlin'. You're just destined to look like a ridiculously, gorgeous sexpot, 24/7."

Now, I am not a guy that needs a whole lot of compliments. I am pretty self confident when it came to the physical department, and I know I hold my fair share of attraction to the same sex, but damn, hearing Jasper say things like that to me, just makes me fucking blush like a schoolgirl.

I notice that he has changed clothes also. He's wearing a polo shirt too, but his is a dark, but vibrant blue, making his eyes look bright and luminescent. I gape at him and am happy to see he blushes, as well, under my scrupulous perusal.

I wonder if Jasper realizes he holds the switch that can turn me on in a moment's notice. Just taking all of him in, fully clothed ignites a fiery blaze in me. I will never take for granted having him in the same room with me…ever.

My hands lift of their own accord, and involuntarily sweep under the curls resting along his cheek to grasp and pull the hair at the back of his neck. His head bends backward under the pressure. His eyes show unrestrained want, not unequal to my own. His tongue darts out and swipes his upper lip, as he stares at my mouth. _Fuck_. I can't seem to control my actions when it comes to him.

"What the fuck do you do to me?" I whisper fervently, while I come undone. I crash my lips to his lush, perfect ones.

Hands start to explore, as tongues collide. Hard cocks grate against each other, as heartbeats accelerate. Breathing becomes an impossible function, as neither one of us are willing to back down from this tornado produced by our mutual and unfettered attraction toward one another.

Jasper reaches down and clutches onto the back of my legs, lifting me up and placing me on the counter. His hands grasp the sides of my neck, to hold my head still while he assaults my mouth. I yank his shirt from underneath his waistband. I am just about to pull it…rip it…whatever the fuck it takes to get the damn thing off of him when there is a knock at the door. The noise breaks us from the spell, and we both pull away as if we have been burned. Jasper's eyes are wide, with a touch of mourning of possibly not being able to finish what we started. "We'll finish this later." I promise, answering the soulful look in his eyes.

I try to control my breathing as I watch Jasper re-tuck his shirt. With a cloud of lust hanging over our heads I walk blindly to the door, and look through the peephole. I look back at Jasper. "Tanya." I whisper, as I unlock the door. I am just about to pull it open…

"Wait!" Jasper says. He rushes over to me, and tries to smooth down my shirt, and attacks my hair with a vengeance. Awareness dawns, and I realize that he is trying to make it look like we weren't fooling around. It saddens me to see that this is how it is going to be. He is going to be the Jasper I know and love while we are alone, but in public he wants everyone to think he is actually heeding their advice.

I am a dirty little secret, just like I had been in high school. My "boyfriend", Eric, all through high school had hidden his true desires in a closet, and me along with them. He broke my heart when he left for college without a second glance. I finally gathered the courage to find him on Facebook last year. He married a nice Christian girl, and has twin boys, living the decent and respectable life his parents always expected of him.

I swore after he left me I would never let anyone put me back in a closet. I know that this situation doesn't warrant me taking that many steps away from the freedoms that I enjoy now, but it hurts nonetheless, more so, coming from someone I know that could destroy me; more than Eric ever could.

I wonder how much Jasper saw in my face, because his hands stop their movements in my hair. I look up into his eyes and am met with what can only be described as regret. He reaches behind me and pulls the door open to find Tanya openly inspecting us, just as I am sure that Jasper anticipated based on the small tirade that just took place.

"We are going to do some small candid shots in the morning of everyone together in various different places on the grounds so meet us in the main lobby at ten." She starts to walk away and then turns around. "Hey, you guys stay out of trouble." She says with a huge smile on her face.

_Like she doesn't fucking know…but we'll just go ahead and pretend._

It is just a week. I can do it for him…for a week.

As we walk down to find a restaurant, Jasper attempts to keep the line of communication open by maintaining small talk. He speaks about meaningless things like the weather which he had tracked every day since he found out that we were coming, and what activities the resort offered that interested him. I am happy to hear that I also enjoy the same things he does.

"I figure maybe on Wednesday we can partake in some water sports and other things to take our mind off of…um, other things."

I smile knowingly. "To get us all nice and tired."

He clasps my hand with his, and swings it between us, grinning back at me. "Exactly. Maybe after a full day of doing all that stuff, we can go get massages…make us even more sleepy." He nods his head happily at his own suggestion, making him look all the more endearing.

"Hey…look over there." I point in the corner, where James and Marcus are standing. Marcus is leaning against a wall, and James is leaning into him. They are speaking, but the way that James is inclined into Marcus' body makes the gesture very personal.

"You're right." Jasper acknowledges my astuteness. "Something definitely is going on there. Hmm. Interesting."

James starts to turn his head our way; I drop Jasper's hand quickly, and dig both my hands deep into my pockets. Pain slashes across Jasper's face briefly.

_This is what you wanted._

I hide my own distress over the whole façade I am being forced to play out by smiling at James who has now noticed us and backed off of Marcus surreptitiously.

Apparently, we are not the only ones that want to play this game. I wonder who instigated it in their little affair.

"Hey boys." Marcus says, as we approach them.

"What are you guys up to?" Jasper questions.

"We are heading to _Pastafari_ for dinner." Marcus says, and then looks at James. They have some sort of silent communication, which furthers my theory that they have some type of relationship beyond work, because you can't have silent conversations with someone you just met, or haven't seen in a few years.

"Did you want to join us?" Marcus asks, and his invitation seems genuine.

Jasper looks at me to answer for the both of us.

"Is anyone else going to be there?" I ask suspiciously. I want to have a relaxing evening with Jasper, and didn't desire a run in with McDildo tonight.

James' smile is wide and contagious. We all smile in unison, knowing exactly who I am referring to. "Nope. Just us…as far as I know. But I don't keep tabs on everyone else, so I don't know exactly where they decided to eat."

"Okay, sounds cool. Do you want to Jas?" _Shit_. I probably should have called him by his full name, and not the shortened version that only certain people use. I just am not used to all this ambiguity.

I look down at my feet in agitation as I wait for his answer.

There is a short moment of silence before Jasper puts his arms around me. I look up quickly, wondering if James and Marcus split on us, but they are still standing there. I glimpse at Jasper who is looking at me with that same look of remorse he had moments ago. "It's totally up to you darlin', as long as I am with you, I don't care what I eat."

"Oh…okkkay." I respond. Forgetting about anyone else, I stare into Jasper's eyes, wordlessly thanking him for changing his mind, and not making me go through a week of pretense. I hear James bark out a laugh, and I don't know if it is because of something Marcus said, or if it is just because they are watching our exchange, and find it humorous. All I do know is that I really don't give two flying fucks, because Jasper isn't going to be hiding us this week.

James pats us both on the back. "Yeeeaaah…why don't we just meet you in there?" They walk away laughing.

Jasper backs me into the same wall that Marcus had previously occupied. He looks down at his shoes, while he contemplates something. When he looks back up his expression makes me want to fall to my knees. I don't want to jinx it by ruminating what I think his expression means, so I close off all thoughts on the subject.

"I keep on making mistakes with you, and I am so sorry. I don't want this week to be full of secrets. I just don't care what anyone thinks anymore. Please forgive me, for continuing to screw this up."

I answer him with a chaste kiss…but nothing with Jasper stays innocent. He opens his hot mouth, and his tongue flicks against my lips. "Open your mouth." He demands quietly, and I comply immediately, but he doesn't do anything. I open my eyes to see his blue ones averted in a different direction. I pull away to look in the same area.

Ugh. My worst nightmare is standing there gawking at us.

Jasper turns back to me and smiles sardonically. "Didn't I tell you to open your mouth?"

I break my gaze away from Sasquatch, and return it to my man. "Yes, you did." I part my lips slightly.

"Do you think that is wide enough for what I want to do to your mouth Edward? Open wider and show me what you fucking got."

I open my mouth wide enough for him to examine my tonsils. He instantly fills the gaping hole with his tongue, as he pushes me into the wall with the ferocity of his need, but he breaks away as fast as it all began. He takes a hand and puts it over his heart, and I can feel the rapid beat as he also struggles for breath. "I am so glad that you are here with me, and I will not hide that fact from _anyone_." He searches my eyes for doubt, and when he sees none he grabs my hand and pulls me forward. "Come on sexy, let's go eat something, so we can get to the better part of the evening."

XXXXX

"It's cold, Edward." He whines.

"It's not that bad. Come on ya big baby." I coax.

I am waist deep in the ocean, while Jasper holds back on the fringes of the beach, barely getting his feet wet.

"I shouldn't be swimming. I ate a big dinner." He reasons.

"You did not." I argue.

None of us did. None of us wanted to be bloated for our performance so we all stuck with soup and salad. We did break down and order a basket of bread, because every time they brought some out to the tables next to us our mouths watered from the tantalizing smell. Each of us took a piece of bread, and I think Jasper _may_ have had two.

"Okay darlin' I am gonna be real honest with you. I am scared. It's too dark, and there are sharks and shit in there."

_Didn't he basically live on an ocean?_

I laugh. That encourages him to come into the water just enough to push me hard, and then rush back out.

"Jasper, they made this area for us, I mean, I am not going to lie and say its filtered or anything, but this is specifically designed for the nocturnal crowd. They must have done it for a reason."

They didn't really promote people swimming in the ocean at night, but they did block off an area if you insisted on doing it. They built a dock, framing a wide expanse of water for our nighttime enjoyment. I think it was built more for them stopping you from drifting out too far, rather than keeping any wildlife at bay.

At this time, there are two other couples in the water, but all you can see of them are faint shadows as they cling around the wooden planks that served as a border, pushing the limits imposed on them by the governing bodies of the _Hedonism_ resort.

"Please baby? Come on…you'll love it. I promise I'll make it worth your while." I bargain.

He growls, and takes a few baby steps into the water. I do backstrokes as I wait for him to come in. "It feels really good." I persuade.

"I'm coming – just hold on." He says irritably.

One of the couples is hanging out by the east side dock, and thankfully, the other couple is on the northern dock, since I probably couldn't get Jasper to wander out that far. We aren't out here to make friends, so I swim out to the dock located on the west side for privacy.

In the distance I hear laughing and splashing as the lovers on the opposite side frolic playfully in the water. The noise startles Jasper, and he freezes in the water watching the altercation through squinted eyes to see if anyone is, in actuality, being attacked by any of the local ocean life.

It takes him a few more minutes before he finally reaches me. "Okay, so I am out here, so what is the big fucking deal?" His voice shakes, and I am not sure if it is from the cold water, or his fear.

"Come here." I beseech. He swims the few strokes it takes to reach the edge of the deck. I hug him, as I finally get to press the hard-on I have been sporting since we got out here into his abdomen. I wrap my legs around his waist, and push my cock into his stomach.

"Do you want your reward for being such a good little daredevil?" I ask, lowering my mouth to his.

"Yes." Jasper hisses against my lips. He ravages my mouth urgently, and again I have no idea if it is me, or his panic of being out here, and needing something badly to take his mind off of where he is, and the consequent repercussions that exist in doing so.

I pull away and grab his hand. I swim until I find a ladder along the ledge of the dock and I grasp it with both hands. When Jasper comes up behind me I push my ass into his groin. "Fuck me Jasper. Please."

His groan is heartfelt and anguished. "I don't have a condom, Edward." I reach in the waistband of my shorts and pull out the foil package I had previously placed there for this very occasion.

"Oh God, did you plan this?"

I push my ass into him again. "Yes, Jas. I need to feel you. Please."

"Okay, let me stand on that for a second." He pushes me aside gently, and grabs the metal rung. He pulls himself up enough to have his waist above water.

"Here, let me. You just hold on." I say. He hands me the condom, and holds himself up with both of his hands. I extricate his thick boner from his swim shorts, and I apply the rubber quickly.

"Are you sure this is going to be okay for you? It isn't going to hurt at all?" He looks worried and unsure.

"I don't know. I've never fucked in the ocean, Jas. Just get your ass in here and let's try, okay? I'll be sure to stop you if it hurts." I keep my voice low, because even though I can't hear anything from the other four people it feels like everything is echoing around us.

He dips back into the water, and I regain the ladder gripping it tightly in each of my hands. There will be no foreplay this night. There will be other times where we can worship one another's body. This is all about need. Since I set eyes upon Jasper again my body has ached to hold him inside of me; to feel his strong, lithe body move in tune with mine, setting a fire only he can quench. "Give it to me Jas."

He pushes his dick in slowly, inch by inch, until he is fully encased inside of me. He whimpers, and shudders behind me, and knowing that I have that affect on him, leaves me with a feeling of unadulterated euphoria, that engulfs me in a maelstrom of intense emotions.

My chest tightens, as he holds me close. Our bodies are flush, as he wraps both of his arms around me tightly. His mouth is pressed over my shoulder, placing small butterfly kisses over the area fervently.

"Oh, darlin', you feel fucking amazing. _God_, I missed this. This Edward…_this_…with _you_. How come I have never felt anything like this before?" He continues to utter praise, and prayers while he pumps slowly.

The water makes everything go in slow motion, so a quick, hard fuck is pretty much out of the question, but for this, it is perfect. I stare up at the sky, complete with a full moon and a smattering of millions of shiny stars. I try to keep my moans to a minimum, but I soar higher, and to places I have never been able to reach before, with Jasper.

His kisses become nibbles, and when he pushes into me deeper, and with harder thrusts, I feel my impending orgasm coming forward. I reach down and jack my cock in "sprint mode". I stroke myself as furiously as I can, wanting to reach the finish line with him.

"Darlin', Oh god, Edward." He huffs. His moans generate a fluttering in my stomach, and my dick to twitch in my hand. I can't hang on for very much longer. "I..ohhhh…ah Jesus…" He gives up on speech, and bites down on my neck…hard, which is the catalyst that sends me over the edge. My body jerks and spasms as I unload in the salty water. Each ripple of my orgasm tightens the muscle on Jasper's dick and I hear him cry out, with his own pleasure.

His forehead rests on the back of my head, and his lips are pressed against the back of my neck. "Edward." He whispers.

I can't find my voice to respond, and I am not really sure he is even asking me to. He yanks me forcefully around and presses me into the ladder while he devours my mouth unexpectedly.

Moments later, he pulls away, and stares at me hard. "Edward. You are…" He struggles with the last word, releasing it on a tortured breath. "…everything." His eyes are sad, and he turns quickly, and heads for the shore without waiting for me to follow.

_Give me time._

Hope swells inside my chest.

XXXXX

We are walking back in, while both of us are attempting to collect all of the moisture from our bodies as we towel off on our way in.

"Don't you live by an ocean Jas?" I ask my question from earlier.

"Yeah, but I don't go out much in it, and never at night. I like pools."

"So, did I help you overcome that fear?"

"Nope."

I have the towel moving furiously in my hair, and I am pretty much walking blindly, so I am surprised when Jasper suddenly stops me, like I was about to walk off of a cliff. "Wha…"

"Shhh. Look."

I drop the towel from my head and look in the direction Jasper is, and there stands James and Marcus again…this time in a full blown lip lock. This isn't just a friendly kiss by any stretch.

I have given my share of platonic kisses, some of them even including tongue, but this is all together different. This one is full of desire, and want, as both of their hands roam over each other's toned physiques. I can feel my cock stirring in my shorts, as I watch the amazingly hot couple engage in a passionate embrace.

Jasper's hands clench into fists, and I know that he is equally as turned on. They pull away from each other before Jasper and I can react, they both look our way, and they are looking pretty fucking guilty, if I do say so.

"Hey guys. Whatcha doing?" Jasper asks, with an evil smile.

"Hanging out. Y'know, going over the details of our shoot." Marcus says vaguely.

Jasper and I both give our own renditions of a snort simultaneously.

"When is your shoot?" Jasper asks.

"Wednesday." Marcus responds.

"So, what do you say about letting us watch your performance?" I inquire, as I look at Jasper to see if he minds. Surprisingly he looks at the two of them with a shy smile.

_God, I love this man_.

Hopefully, before this week is over, I can convince Jasper that I am a worthwhile endeavor, because I have no reservation that he is exactly who I want.

"Naw, man, Felix was pretty adamant about everyone having a quiet and closed set." Marcus says, but he turns to James, and they begin having another one of those silent conversations they are becoming famous for.

They both smile at each other, and Marcus actually wraps his arm around James' waist. "But we were just about to go practice, and you are both more than welcome to watch that if you want to."

_I love this job._

* * *

**AN: So, some of you may have realized that the teaser that they posted on Jaspersnaughtygirls blog was not in the chapter, because Edward still did not get as far as I had planned, and that my dears is why I never give teasers!! Anyway, the teaser that posted WILL be in the next chapter, even if I have to write 10000 words to get to it.**

**Thanks again, I hope you are enjoying the story. Reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	8. Voyeurism

**AN: Thanks everyone for continuing to read. I learned a simple but effective equation last week.**

**Darkira + Twislash Unveiled blog = lots of new subscribers.**

**Thanks Darkira for pimping my story!! I was so surprised to see it in your rec's and I truly appreciate it. Go to Twislash Unveiled to see Darkira's other rec's and her profile to read her awesome stories, like my fav's **_**Find You Worthy**_** or the one she is currently working on, a really great fic, **_**Brand New Start**_**. **

**I also wanted to say that a twitter friend, rmhale, sent me some very helpful **_**Picspiration,**_** as she calls it, when I couldn't find the motivation to write. It definitely inspired me to finish this chapter. Anyway, I am sure that you are all reading her stories already, but you should really all be following her on twitter too. She's very entertaining and likes to post very visually stimulating presents, so visit her profile and start following her. You can follow me too, but I am not a fraction of as much fun as she is. If you want to follow me my link is also in my profile.**

**I am had major issues uploading today due to storms and stupid satellite internet. So, this does not have any of my sweet beta Cullen818's TLC in it. Corrections will be made when I can get on for more than two seconds at a time. Enjoy anyway! 4/28 - beta'd - Thanks Steph!**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

* * *

**Chapter 8 – Voyeurism (EPOV)**

Jasper and I scurry back to the room to change into some dry clothes. I can hardly contain my giddiness. There is an inventory of things that I want to do sexually. Participating in a voyeuristic type activity is certainly up there on the list, but the combo of being able to do it with Jasper, and watching two divine beings such as James and Marcus having sex exceeded anything I could have dreamt up. I had figured I'd be in a back room of a seedy bar, alone, watching two barely decent looking guys go at it.

Jasper holds his emotions in better than I do. I can't see any excitement, as he remains remote, but I can see as we change into t-shirts and sweat pants that his semi-erect cock is telling a different story.

"You don't think they are just playing with us, do you?" I ask nervously, disappointment already lacing my tone as the thought just occurs to me.

Jasper stops midway to the door, and turns back to me. "No, darlin', I assure you. They are waiting for us." He strides up to me, and lifts my chin with his forefinger. He grasps my sides and squeezes lightly. "Don't you want to do this?" He looks serious for a moment, but then his façade slips, and I can see a smile poking through. "Because if you don't want to I can just call them and…oof." He releases a breath, as I sock him in the gut.

He rubs his belly gingerly. "Alright then. Well, they wanted us to wait fifteen minutes." He looks down at his watch that is lying on the nightstand. "And it has been…oh…thirteen."

I race out the door, and Jasper follows laughing his head off.

XXXXX

James pulls the door open; he stands clad only in a pair of sleep pants. His chest is bare and beautifully formed, his golden hair had been pulled back earlier, but now hung loosely over his neck and shoulders. His hazel eyes are full of playful mischief, and I am still half expecting him to tell me this is all a joke. Instead he says nothing, just opens the door wider, and removes himself from the opening.

The sounds of Halestorm's, _I Get Off, _plays through speakers of an iPod deck on the dresser. I know it is no coincidence that this particular song is playing and I smile at the meaning…and the truth of it.

_Someone fucking pinch me, 'cause I can't believe this is really going to happen. _

Jasper grabs my hand, and we slip through the door. The room is dimly lit, and as we enter further I notice several candles strewn about the room, giving this private showing a very intimate setting.

Marcus is lying casually on the king-sized bed. One arm is bent underneath his head, showing off his muscled bicep and rippled abs. Like James he wears only sleep pants. They had pulled the couch away from the wall, and had placed it a few feet from the bed. _._

Marcus watches us meander to the couch with half-lidded eyes and a bulge in his pants, his head following us as we make our way around the bed to the settee that had apparently been positioned for the show, and I wonder after seeing Marcus already aroused if this little party had started before we arrived.

Whatever, I am just fucking ecstatic to be here. I am not questioning shit. I don't care what we missed.

We stand in front of the tiny sofa, deciding not to sit, preferring to stand until we are told to take a seat, or the performance begins. James comes out of the bathroom, and it doesn't escape my attention that no one has said a freaking word yet.

Loath to spoil this amped atmosphere my lips are fucking sealed. Normally, I like to chat but we are here as witnesses, and not participants, so I wait, like Jasper, for their instruction.

Instead of James heading right for the bed he ambles over to us. He walks directly up to Jasper, standing within inches from his face. They stare at each other in silence. James eventually raises his hand to cup Jasper's cheek. He caresses the bone there for a second before he slides it behind his neck pulling him forward into a passionate kiss.

It takes Jasper a split second to respond, but when he does their mouths mold in a hot exchange. I stand entranced, as I watch Jasper's tongue rub against James' alluringly. The kiss is sexually charged and massively erotic, but I'm not jealous because deep down I know that these two are friends and will never be anything more.

James confirms this when he breaks away from the kiss and places one final chaste kiss on his lips before turning to me. His swollen lips turn up at the corners into a ghost of a smile. He bites on his bottom lip, as he takes a step toward me. When he positions himself in front of me, his fingertips brush a trail up my arm, causing a path of goose bumps to follow.

His lips slowly descend on mine, his eyes never leaving mine throughout the journey. His breath fans over my mouth, while he hesitates briefly before claiming my lips in a hot, wet kiss. The faint taste of berries and mint lingers on his tongue, as it swirls along the interior of my mouth. Like Jasper I keep my hands at my sides.

His fingertips, however, are still on my body, roaming, slowly and teasingly, over my collarbone. His knuckles brush along my chest before slowly, and lackadaisically moving downward, over my ribcage. My stomach quivers as he circles my belly button with the pad of his thumb, but as soon as he begins to travel lower I hear a growl from behind us.

"Get over here. Now, Jamie." Marcus demands roughly.

James pulls away, and smiles into my eyes, apparently getting what he had wanted. It appeared that he had been waiting to see how long it would take to get a reaction from Marcus.

"Watch and Learn." He says quietly to Jasper and I, before he turns slowly, facing Marcus.

I quickly look over at Jasper. His face is flushed with desire, eyes wide and his mouth gaping to accommodate his short and shaky breaths. "_Jamie_?" I mouth to him. I had never heard anyone call James by that name. He just shrugs his shoulders, and backs up a couple of steps, catching my arm in the process, so I can take the last step back with him before we both hit the back of the sofa with our legs, and plop down simultaneously.

Jasper puts his arm along the back cushion. I lean into him, as we both stare fixedly at the scene unfolding not far out of arms reach.

I snuggle into Jasper's side, as I watch James climb onto the bed, and walk on his knees to Marcus who stands the same way in the middle of the large mattress.

Fuck, these two make an exceptional couple. In the faint lighting of the candles the ambience is breathtaking. This doesn't feel like porn, and it doesn't feel like a rehearsal. The way James and Marcus look at each other…it's just…I don't know…

The desire is plainly evident, and the wantonness is palpable, you can smell the lust in the room, taste the need, feel the electricity, but the way they looked at each other…it's…_different_.

I feel like I am intruding on a couple in a romance of epic proportions. Their hands don't automatically go for their privates, they don't grope or molest; instead they caress cheeks, necks, shoulders and arms. I get the faint impression that we have been momentarily forgotten, as their fingertips ghost reverently over the naked flesh of their chests, and lips whisper secrets only the two of them are privy to.

God, I feel so fucking dirty…

And I love it.

Jasper doesn't seem to mind either, because he struggles to gain a more comfortable position. He moves one of his legs behind me, so that his long legs stretch across the sofa making it easy for me to lay my back against his chest. Instantly, his hands land on my shoulders, gently massaging the tense muscles while our eyes never leave the couple in front of us.

Tongues peek out, making an appearance, as they eat greedily at each other's mouths. Their lips are spread wide as they take each other in, devouring each other like starving men, seemingly never being able to get enough. It makes me want to experience the same, and abruptly, I need a kiss like I need breath. Choking on desire, I turn my head just enough, and without having to say anything Jasper knows what I require. His hand comes up to my neck, and applies enough pressure to help me meet him the rest of the way. His tongue is moist and hot, this kiss ends as fast as it began and we are left panting when it is over. Our eyes only meet each other briefly, before returning to James and Marcus.

Marcus' palm is stretched wide along James' chest. It skims down his hardened abdominal muscles to his tented sleep pants. Finally, he chooses not to dilly-dally, getting straight down to business, he grabs James' cock and he releases a muffled moan, as he has his head buried in Marcus' neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin.

"Fuck baby." James whispers, as his hips gyrate in an erotic and completely mesmerizing rhythm. Jasper begins moving in the same pattern against my back, and I release a moan of my own as my neglected boner twitches painfully. I am aware that if I touch it now, I'd get caught before the thrill of the chase even began, so I keep my hands fisted on each side of my body, too afraid to make contact with any portion of my heated and sensitized skin.

Jasper has different ideas though; plans that apparently include torment and suffering in the most pleasurable and delicious of ways. His hands find their way under my arms and to the hem of my t-shirt. The cotton rides up as Jasper's hands glide up the length of my torso. I persist in watching James and Marcus, as Jasper tweak and manipulates my hardened nipples.

Marcus continues to rub and work over James' dick through the thin material of his pants, molding and shaping it to the fabric, displaying the thick engorgement. James hands are tugging at Marcus' hair, forcing his head back, exposing a beautifully elongated, olive neck. He tilts his head, so we can see him lick and suck at Marcus' Adams apple.

Marcus has to stop his ministrations, as James bends to tongue his way down his chest. Marcus gasps and shudders as James sucks along each of his jutted ribs, before continuing his descent down to his belly button. He backs up a few steps so he can bend lower. With his ass sticking invitingly up in the air he lavishes attention on the small cavern, nipping and kissing the recess. He looks up at Marcus as his fingertip run over the slippery hole, poking it gently, fucking it essentially with his finger. Imitating the act that Marcus could look forward to.

"Please Jamie." He moans. Marcus moves his hand to his own ass, kneading and rubbing, as James exposes Marcus' thick, long dick to the room. From my seat I can see the soaked tip of Marcus' head, and the realization causes a little liquid escape my own cock. The small pleasure inspires a groan to bubble up from my chest, which in turn compels Jasper's tempo to pick up slightly. I can feel his uneven breathing in my hair, as the weight of his erection presses and undulates against my spine.

"Oh god, Jas." I whimper. He moves the hair at my nape and places erratic kisses along the skin. When I push my backside into him, as appreciation of his efforts, he bites the back of my neck hard. We hear a moan from the other side of the room, forcing us to acknowledge that we are not alone. We both turn our focus back to the entertainment.

James is sucking off Marcus liberally. He is humming and slurping a melody that is effectively driving us all crazy. Marcus has his head thrown back, the tendons in his neck protrude and his eyes clench shut, attempting to warrant off his imminent fate, but as if recognizing the limits of Marcus' restraint, James withdraws his mouth from his throbbing member with a pop.

Marcus hisses at the loss, but looks down at James with uninhibited yearning. James looks up at Marcus through his lashes and they both remain like that for several moments. Marcus touches James cheek and the contact breaks the spell that they are in. They both pull away quickly remembering that they have company.

Jasper's thrusts had taken on a new level, as we watched James perfectly performed blowjob on Marcus' silky cock. His hands had dipped below the waistband of my sweat pants and were grasping tightly onto my hips, holding me still while he dry humped my back. So when James released Marcus' cock from his mouth and his straining, glistening shaft bobs in desperate need Jasper lets out a soft cry.

"I know baby, I know. Soon." I soothe. I don't think I am going to be able to avoid touching myself for too much longer. If I continue putting off giving myself some proper attention, I am liable to cum with no contact at all, and that shit just sucks tits.

James has the lube, flipping open the lid; he pours a generous amount in his hand, and then hands it off to Marcus who does the same. When he is done with the bottle he, knowingly or not, tosses it to us. I am not really sure if it was his intention to do so, since his eyes had never left James in the process, but I am grateful all the same. Helping myself, I open the lid, but as I stick my palm out, Jasper swipes it away and replaces it with his hand to catch the goo. _Oh fuck yeah._

I pour him a hefty helping of the gel, seal the bottle, and drop it onto the floor next to us. James and Marcus are lubing their own cocks while their free hands roam each other's pecs, biceps and six packs. Over and over they share an amazingly rare characteristic in porn of simply making eye contact. James stops jacking his own cock and nudges his rod against Marcus's hand which is gliding over his own cock. He catches James drift, and places his hand on James slippery shaft, pumping it in the same fashion that he had been pumping his own. Fluid hangs from each of their swollen slits as they stroke each other in a disjointed but completely sexy rhythm. Their mouths meld with a blazingly intensity, as basic needs reach new heights.

That is when it strikes me. I realize they had lubed there naked dicks.

This would be barebacking at one of its finest moments.

I groan at the thought. I evade bareback porn for two reasons; the most important reason being that it is unsanitary and dangerous, but secondly I don't watch it because I just don't want to be tempted. I wouldn't do it…

But I really want to.

And I really want to with Jasper, but I know the time isn't right. I always said I would wait to have unprotected sex when I found Mr. Forever. I want that to be Jasper, but we had many things, well many _people_ standing in the way of that. I may be stupid, but I still hold out a tremendous amount of hope that we can overcome this, and eventually be together, so I can experience the very same thing that I am about to witness.

"Fuck!" My hips jumped up, and I about lose my load. Unexpectedly, Jasper's slick hand had snuck below my waistband and clutched my sensitive dick. I mean, I knew he was going to do it; I just wasn't prepared for it, as I was caught up in the realization that this was a condom-free show.

"Take it easy." I whisper. My stomach breaks out in a sweat, and I try not to thrust into Jasper's fist. I struggle to maintain composure as I comprehend the magnitude of the chore of attempting to hold out as long as I can. A seemingly impossible endeavor.

Jasper immediately loosens his grip, barely touching me, as his hand whispers over the sensitive head. His movements along my lower back also subside to a now, lazy circular pattern.

James breaks the kiss they are sharing, and moves to get into position, but Marcus detains him by grabbing onto his forearm. He shakes his head minutely. "How do you want me?" James questions quietly.

"I want you on top of me, driving into me, while I stare at your gorgeous body. Jamie, I need you inside of me." His eyes plead with James. If they were actually practicing James would be bottoming, but this charade had been over about the time that Jasper and I crossed the threshold into this feigned debauched lair of exotica.

These two are a couple…making love. No porn star ever acted this well.

This is no portrayal of pornograhy in all its glory. This is the real deal.

And I am jealous…badly so. I want that too.

Not relieving their eye contact, Marcus leans back, and brings his legs forward so he is lying on the bed, spread out for James. James moves between his legs, and sits back on his feet. The palm of his hand lies flat, just below Marcus' navel, and it travels slowly to his collarbone, then back down. He does this several times and the movement is hypnotizing. Marcus' back arches under the tender loving touch.

I am entranced, as James' hot eyes follow his hands travels. His long, narrow, toned back, stretches so that he can reach the soft spot at the top of Marcus' breastbone. His muscles flexing as he hovers over Marcus' abdomen.

I hadn't realized that I had been holding my breath, as I had watched the two magnificent specimens loving each other, but I let out a gush of air when I start to feel light headed.

Finally, ready to begin the main act James discards both of their pajama pants and pulls Marcus toward him, placing his legs over his own. Poised at the ready, James reaches down and caresses Marcus' hole, while he strokes his cock.

"Goddammit Jamie, I'm ready."

James smiles, and positions himself for entry. He holds the base of his shaft and presses into Marcus' tight opening. Once Marcus fully accommodates his length, James leans forward and touches his lips to Marcus', a few words are exchanged beyond our hearing, and then he pulls back and starts with long, fluid thrusts. James' ass flexes, and quivers as he pumps sinuously slow and thick into Marcus.

_The Ghost of Tom Joad_ by Rage Against The Machine starts playing and James movements mirror the beat of the song. The words do not suit the mood, but that beat sure did. It is sexual and sensual. James body moves seductively; slowly he enters, twisting his hips, pausing when he is in to the hilt, and then slowly backing out, only to replicate the action again and again. As he repeats the motion, he and Marcus murmur to each other…soft words, meant only for each other's ears.

Jasper is jerking me in earnest now, while his dick is mashing into my back. His free hand moves up to my forehead to push back the sweat soaked hair, and he leans into my ear. "Do you wanna cum baby?" He whispers breathlessly.

"Yes, Jas. Oh God, yes." I am willing to beg.

"Soon…Oh God." Jasper says as he sees James pace pick up as he slams into Marcus' ass.

"Fuck me Jamie…I know you can do better than that." The sound of skin slapping, grunts and moans of satisfaction…the sight of Marcus and James lithe forms glinting in the soft light from the perspiration over their slick skin…and Jasper's hand moving erratically under the cover of my sweat pants takes me precariously close to the edge.

"Oh Jesus, fucking…cumming, love." Marcus moans, as his face crunches up, and he unloads onto his stomach. James pulls out in just enough time for us to observe threads of white cum shoot out his cock, hitting Marcus in the chest and mixing with Marcus' own semen on his abdomen. James' roars and Marcus' back is arched off the bed, as they ride out their waves of ecstasy.

I pull my sweat pants over my cock just before it erupts, and my own orgasm takes hold.

"Darlin', ohhh…" Jasper groans behind me, releasing in his pants. Once my climax weakens, I quickly turn in Jasper's arms, and plant a big wet one on him. He pushes the hair back from my face, and he stares intently, his blue eyes dark with unrelenting passion. I lay my head on his chest, as we fight to catch breath, and settle our rampaging emotions.

Scents of sex permeate the air, encouraging a contented and peaceful silence. Marcus and James are still sharing spit. Kissing each other gently, James' hand is spread wide over Marcus' chest, rubbing the combination of their juices into his skin.

"Ugh, uncomfortable…" Jasper finally breaks the haze. "I need to get out of this underwear."

"Did you boys enjoy the show?" James asks with a knowing chuckle.

Jasper turns a sarcastic glare over in their direction. "So, just how long have you guys been together?"

James exchanges a look with Marcus and then he sighs. "We have been seeing each other for a couple of months. Right after filming _Love at First Sight_ I ran into Marcus. He only lived a couple of towns over, so we went out for drinks, and one thing led to another. We have been together ever since." He looks back down at Marcus and they grin at each other, then he looks back at us. "This is our last film. We are both quitting porn after this."

"We're keeping it quiet, so we would appreciate it if you wouldn't mention this." Marcus says warily.

_It isn't his idea. I can tell that much by his expression._

"Why?" I ask.

"Because they don't want to get the same flack that I have been getting…right?" Jasper says, slightly annoyed.

"Jaaasss." James says warningly. "You can't compare us to you guys. We are in a totally different situation."

"Whatever. It's your choice." Jasper says and stands, holding his hand out for me. I grab it, and he pulls me up.

"It's evident that you guys share something special. It's too bad that you have to hide that kind of love from people." James starts to say something but Jasper leans into him, and silences him with his finger. He holds it to James' lips for a moment before he leans in and pecks him on the lips. "Thanks for inviting us. It was fun." Jasper gives them both a heart-dropping wink and smile.

James barks out a laugh. "I'd say "anytime", but this was a once in a lifetime event." He follows us to the door while Marcus starts the shower.

We thank James again and start to walk away, but James grabs Jasper's arm to stop him. Jasper looks surprised, and it seems like James wants to say something privately, so I let go of Jasper's hand. "I'll go grab the elevator."

I walk away taking the chance that maybe James will give him some encouragement, and not the opposite. I nervously wait a minute or so for Jasper to arrive at the elevator. As he rounds the corner he looks deep in thought, but as soon as I register in his vision, he smiles huge.

We both get in the lift, and I press the button that will take us two stories higher. I was hoping that Jasper would give up what James and he talked about, but apparently that isn't going to happen, as he remains in thought. Instead of asking for info, I decide to let it go, hoping that he will trust me, and divulge it at a later date.

I try to lighten the mood. "That was hot, huh?"

Jasper laughs and pulls me into a hug. "That was awesome. I don't remember the last time I jizzed in my pants, let alone via dry humping someone's back."

After we arrived back to the room we immediately head for the shower, and then fall into bed exhausted, within seconds I am sound asleep in my lover's arms, and nothing has ever felt more right.

XXXXX

We arrive in the foyer at ten in the morning for pictures, as instructed, to find everything in utter chaos.

"Oh. My. God. You totally do NOT expect me to wear this…Hawaiian shirt, do you???" Seth screeches, as he freaks on the wardrobe lady, who looks like she is about to burst into tears.

"You are…are all su-supposed to wear them." She stutters nervously, looking around anxiously for help.

Emmett sits across the room in a chair impatiently tapping his foot. "Make-up? Make-up?" He yells, trying to locate the cosmetician on site. "I have a zit. I need cover up." He turns to the mirror in agitation, checking out the red bump located at the tip of his nose. He tries to rub it out with his fingertip, and when he sees that isn't helping it disappear, he growls in frustration. "MAAAKKKEE-UPPP!!"

"This is _bullshit_." Embry says emphatically into his cell phone, as he paces the room, obviously pissed off about something. _What is wrong with him?_

My attention is diverted to another rioting gay man. "What the fuck did you do to my hair you worthless piece of shit? It looks greasy." Aro whines pulling at the tips of his locks. "Now I need to wash it again…you incompetent…serf." He barrels off, stomping with emphasized irritation.

Serf? Seriously? What century was he born in?

"Hey…" I say, absently poking at Jasper's arm, while still looking at Aro. "Where the hell is Aro from? He just totes called that guy a serf."

I glance back at him, and am arrested when he looks at me in surprise. "He did??" He snorts, and then he grins from ear to ear. "Well you just said "totes"…so, in my book, you're even."

I push him, just as Tanya walks by. "Oh God, well, what the hell is wrong with you two?" She looks frazzled.

Jasper pulls me into his arms. "Nothin' Tawny we are just playing around." He looks around, smirking. "All-stars, huh? Do you regret it yet?"

This time it is Tanya that shoves Jasper, but since I am connected to him, we both stumble back a couple steps.

"Taannnyyaa." Emmett bemoans. "Where is the lady that does the make-up?"

"I'll go look for her Emmett. Just go have a seat." Tanya rushes off leaving us with Emmett. He is watching Tanya's retreating form so when he finally turns he is surprised to see us there.

"Hey Jas." He says, making it obvious that he is going to pretend that I am not here. I have a few things to say to him, but I am smart enough to realize that this isn't the time for it. I am hoping when that time comes that Jasper won't be around.

"Hey." He looks at doofus with his eyebrows raised. "Don't be an ass, Emmett. Edward didn't do anything wrong."

His eyes flicker to me before returning to Jasper. "I just don't like him. He's stupid enough to think this thing with you and him is going to last." He finally turns to glare at me. "You're just naïve Eddie, but you'll figure that out soon enough." He predicts.

"Whatever, Rudolph."

Emmett grabs his nose, and runs off yelling for the resident aesthetician again.

"Oh you have got to be kidding. Another fucking "couple". Gag." Seth says. We turn around to see what he is talking about. James and Marcus are strolling in with their hands in each other's back pockets. James winks at me, and kisses Marcus lightly before heading for the hairdresser.

"This _fucking_ _sucks_. I cannot believe I agreed to this." I hear again from Embry, as he continues his phone conversation.

Jasper looks at me and sighs wearily. "Welcome to the world of drama queens." He says as he steers us toward wardrobe.

XXXXX

They had taken various shots of all of us together in front of the resort. They snapped several shots of me and Jas in front of "our location". They took numerous pictures of all of the bottoms together by the pool and ocean, and then the same with all the tops. After several wardrobe changes and touch ups to our hair and faces it ended up taking up about half of the day. We were so tired of all of the whining, complaining and the expected frenzied outbreak from James and Marcus' "coming out" that we immediately decided that a nap was in order, but not before we worshipped each other's bodies fully first.

After we reach our mutual satisfaction Jasper burrows himself into my chest for a much desired snooze.

"I want to take you out on a date Friday, so don't plan anything okay?" I say.

He lifts up his head and gazes at me with a look of pure happiness. "Sure. Any chance of you telling me what we're doing?"

"Nope."

He chuckles, and within seconds I hear the sounds of his light snoring.

I had seen some pamphlets at the front desk for a Sunset Cruise. I want to do something for Jasper, and I also thought that it would most likely be a golden opportunity to finalize future plans, if none had already been made.

XXXXX

Later that afternoon, Jasper and I lay down in the middle of the sandy beach, watching the sun go down.

The sunset is beautiful. The sky is filled with a swirl of purples, pinks and blues. The waves in the ocean, crash lightly, giving me a strong sense of serenity. With Jasper lying by my side, holding my hand, I feel at peace with life. Everything is going so well, that I avoid the conversation that I want to have with him so badly.

_What happens after this?_

I involuntarily sigh, and in my peripheral I can see Jasper's head rock my way. He hesitates there for a moment before returning his eyes to the sky above us.

Finally he speaks. "How often do you top Edward?" His voice is low, throaty and sexy as hell.

A small smile plays on my lips, as I wonder where that question came from. I turn my head gradually to study his profile. He looks deep in thought.

"Rarely." I answer. He smiles softly in response, still looking up at the almost cloudless beauty above.

I continue to watch him. God he is always gorgeous, but in this setting he is truly exquisite. He is one of a kind, and I am so not ready to lose him.

"How often do you bottom Jasper?" I ask back.

His smile widens, and he turns his head so that we are finally gazing into each other's eyes.

"Rarely." He whispers, repeating my own answer.

We stare at each other for a long moment, happy smiles lighting up our faces. He squeezes my hand in his, pumping it a few times, before his eyes travel back upward; mine follow.

"Did you want me to top you Jas?" I ask tentatively.

His smile falters and then fades. "No."

* * *

**AN: Whew! I was actually listening to my iTouch while writing that lemon and The Ghost of Tom Joad just came on, and I was amazed at how much it fit in with the whole scene taking place.**

**Voyeuristic activities and drama queens...what did you think?**


	9. Survival

**AN: Two things – I know it has been a while since I posted, and if you weren't aware it is because I posted a pretty long-winded E/J one shot called **_**My Only Choice**_**. If you haven't read it yet, please go check it out. I would appreciate it.**

**So, hopefully, this almost 11k chapter made up for my long delay.**

**Second, my friend, Jamie aka LadyBlueKnight created a fantastic banner for this story that incorporated their trip to Vegas. If you want to check that out it is on my profile page, right next to my picture of Peter. Yep, that pic you may have already checked out is Peter. He will be ****a prominent character in this story that will show up a little later.**

**Thank you Cullen818 for proofing this on a holiday weekend…she is so good to me.**

**Disclaimers: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters, also, this story is intended for mature audiences only.**

* * *

**Chapter 9 – JPOV (Survival)**

"Why not?" He asks so quietly that I can barely hear him. _Jesus_. The last thing I expected to do is hurt him.

He gazes at me warily, the beautiful sunset forgotten under the tension surrounding us.

And I know it is time.

Time to have the discussion.

_Goddammit_. I wanted to wait until the end of the week, and enjoy what is left of this trip without having to think about the inevitable conclusion that waited for us at the airport.

I can deny no longer that I love Edward Cullen, and that is why I have to do this. No matter how I twist and bend each scenario I cannot find a "happily ever after" for me and him…at least not at this time. It just isn't meant to be, and we can't force it, or we will both end up unhappy.

I look over at him and see the naked pain in his eyes at my refusal to have him do something as simple as top me. Did I want him to top? More than anyone could ever fucking know, but this would just make this harder. I had only bottomed a few times in my life, and each time, it was only because I had been getting paid for it.

I never wanted to like I do now.

I had only been wondering, to myself, how often he topped. I had never intended to vocalize my curiosity, but now that I had, the subject hadn't dropped as fast as I wanted it to, and now I can't think of nothing else but having his beautiful cock filling me…completing me, as corny as that sounds.

I couldn't allow myself to think about it, imagine it, want it, so I turn to him and start the conversation that would, hopefully, not sever the little bit of time that we had left with each other.

I lay on my side, with my head lying on top of my folded arm. I want to reach my hand out and stroke his auburn locks, but I don't trust myself to touch him right now, knowing that somehow, if I did, it will ruin my resolve to speak the words that roil like acid in my belly.

"I have never wanted to bottom for anyone, like I want to bottom for you." I say with honest conviction. He smiles shyly, and his arm reaches out to touch me, but I stop it…because I have to.

He looks confused, as I hold his wrist mid-air. I lower it to the ground, and tentatively release my grip. He keeps it there between us, but he does not understand why, and I don't blame him. Our relationship, from the beginning, has been full of questions, and misunderstandings.

Not anymore. Everything will be spelled out here and now.

"But I won't - because it will just make all of this harder."

He pushes himself on his back, letting out an exasperated sigh, and even though I feel like this is going to kill me…that my lungs are prepped to burst any minute…I have to go on. Now that I have started this, I have no choice but to finish it.

So breathlessly I continue. "Edward, I am not going to deny that I have strong feelings for you. More so than I have ever had for anyone else. Ever." His head turns toward me, and his green eyes reflect his hurt, but he remains silent.

My throat closes and my eyes shut. "But it's not good enough for me…or for you." I squeeze the words out, barely audible, dissolving any hope that he may still have had. "It will never work between us."

Edward opens his mouth, ready for a rebuttal, but I waylay him by putting my fingers over his mouth. "Please let me finish." His mouth shuts under the tips of my fingers, and his eyes fill with tears, and resignation.

_Please don't hate me._

"This is my last movie Edward. This is my last porn ever. I wanted to end with a bang." I smile sadly. "I wanted to end it with you…but I am done with all of this. I don't want to do it anymore, and I don't want to be associated with it anymore…in any shape or form. You have a whole career ahead of you, and I just can't be there waiting for you to come home from…being with someone else."

I try seriously hard not to think of Edward on other sets with other guys, but occasionally images pop in my head of him kissing, getting hard for, sucking…ugh…and once the images start I can't stop them. That reason alone is as good as any, to end this thing after this week.

Edward's eyes return to the sky, and I see the moon reflect off of a tear that slips down his cheek and disappears into his hair. I grab his hand, loathe to lose him any earlier than the end of the week when I will be obligated to leave him to pursue his new and exciting life.

"I don't want this to hang over our heads this week. I don't want this to be sad. This is a good experience Edward. This is something that I will always remember fondly, and I hope…I hope you do to." I clutch his hand with desperate urgency, and place it over my heart. "I will never, ever regret this."

Edward's face is wet with tears now, and it looks like he is holding his breath to stop himself from expressing the anguish that I also feel, all too well. A sob manages to escape on a hiccup, and my heart breaks.

"Please Edward." I whisper fervently, followed by my own broken sob that I cut off as soon as it starts, my own salty tears beginning to fall from my eyes. "Say that you won't leave me for the rest of the week. Please tell me we can still have this. I need you."

I press my lips together, so I don't blurt out that I love him. _It is too late for that now._ He doesn't say anything, just pulls me into an awkward one armed hug. I drag him on top of me, and wrap my arms tightly around his waist.

We spend almost an hour just holding each other. We cried, we kissed, and then I made love to him right there on the sandy beach.

Dinner is tense that night. Again, we have dinner with James and Marcus who can also feel the stress. They watch us both with a sympathetic expression through the course of the meal, and it makes me want to scream.

I don't want the rest of the week to be like this. I furtively hope that I had planned enough activities tomorrow to make us forget that we were just one more day closer to the end of the week.

XXXXX

The next day we head out, to keep us busy, and hopefully, make us dead tired since we won't be involved in any extracurricular bed time activities tonight.

Today, we are just going to be friends, and hang out. Later tonight, we will prep ourselves for the set tomorrow, including going over the few lines that we have, cleansing, and shaving all pertinent areas.

Our activities are spread throughout the day. We are mainly taking advantage of all of the resorts amenities. I did include a few excursions that we will have to leave the resort for, like horseback riding, and the one we are currently doing, climbing a rock inlaid waterfall at Dunn's River Falls.

James and Marcus were interested in climbing the waterfall, and had signed up for that adventure with us.

They are filming later on tonight, and they are just as anxious to find something to occupy their time as we are. They don't feel the need to withhold the day before a shoot like I do, but over the years, I have noticed the difference in my performance when I chose to abstain, and when I didn't.

Contrary to what others may believe I do take pride in my work, and that is always giving the best I got. I take my job seriously, and in the process I am also teaching Edward good practices.

Besides, I am totally psyched about spending the day with Edward, without having our hands all over each other, and our minds in the gutter.

I snort. Yeah, that is easier said than done, as I watch Edward's tight ass. His wet swim shorts mold to his mouthwatering backside, as he looks for good footing on the rock he is about to traverse, while Marcus stands over him to help if need be.

We are paired into groups of four. Each grouping is supposed to stay together. One person would climb the travertine rock, and then help the person behind them accomplish the same feat. The soles of our rubber shoes keep us from sliding off of the slippery rock…

Most of the time.

I watch Edward slip on one of the stones as Marcus clasps one of his hands, keeping him from falling completely down.

"Ouch." Edward exclaims, as he holds his shin in his hand. Marcus helps him recover from his misstep and lifts him up, which is why we have James and Marcus climbing in first and second places, respectively. It is a lot easier for them to help us up than it is for us to assist them, since they each, easily, have about fifty pounds….of muscle…over me and Edward.

"You okay darlin'?" I ask from behind him.

He turns around, flashing the most incredibly beautiful smile.

I am momentarily stunned.

_God, what a fucking sight._

Edward is standing in the middle of a gorgeous waterfall, his wet auburn hair shines, and his pale damp chest glistens, from the sun rays piercing the landscaped trees, shining around him like a prism, making him appear even more angelic than usual.

His green eyes are sharp and intense, matching the surrounding landscape. They bore into mine, looking for an answer to an unspoken question. I audibly shut my mouth, and wipe any drool that may have accumulated on my chin. I must have looked like a besotted fool. He confirms that statement when he gives me a devious smile, and then graces me with a slow, wicked wink, while swiping his tongue over his tantalizing top lip.

_Fuck. Can I cum now? Please._

A few more stumbles, and hiccups along the way, but we finally make it to the final tier. We celebrate by frolicking in the water, splashing and dunking each other. We ignore all of the eyes that are on us, pretending that we are the only ones there, but when playtime is over a group of girls that were climbing two groups behind us approached uninvited.

The guys groan as they watch them wade through the water, boobies jiggling, threatening to pop out of their tops, as they smile at us in what, I am sure, they believe to be a seductive manner.

I am the only one considered a "bi" out of all of us. Though I am beginning to think the side of me that likes girls doesn't exist anymore. It has been so long since I have found a girl the slightest bit attractive, and the thought of having relations with a girl again makes me feel disgusted.

Yeah…as I stare at these lackluster girls, in their string bikinis, I find nothing stirring inside me except my lunch.

"So what resort are you guys staying at?" One of the girls asks. I am the only one still looking at them at all, so I feel responsible for answering.

"Hedonism. But this is our last day here." I lie, trying to find the easy way out.

She looks more upset than she should be. "Well, did you guys want to hang out with us until you have to leave? We definitely like to party…if you know what I mean." The blond says, smiling at us in a fashion that I am sure had brought her a lot of dick.

Edward comes up behind me and wraps his strong, manly arms around my waist, and rests his chin on my shoulder. I let out a little chuckle, as I watch understanding dawn on their faces.

"Seriously…are you guys just messing with us?" The blond asks.

James finally comes over, and one of the brunette's lets out a shrill scream. "Nooooo waaay! I thought you looked like him, but that's….that's…" She points to James, and the other girls are waiting for her to finish, but she just starts laughing. She looks at the blond who initiated the conversation. "These boys aren't interested in us. Let's go."

The blond looks hesitant to leave us, as she glimpses from her friend to us, and then back again. She isn't ready to give up yet. The brunette that recognizes James looks at her friends with the juicy gossip on the tip of her tongue. "I'll tell you in the car. Bye boys! Keep up the good work!"

Her friends look perplexed, but follow her back to the exit anyway.

The four of us walk back to the van that is escorting back to our resort, sporting "Just Do the Falls" complimentary t-shirts that we received for making it to the top of the waterfall.

The rest of the day is spent in leisure. We sail out on kayaks, we snorkel around colorful reefs, we swim, we lay out in the sun, we ride horses, but most importantly we refrain from touching each other, settling for quick chaste kisses, and light touches.

And I loved every minute of it.

Edward and I fit so well together, it hurt.

If we had just met at another time, in another place, and we didn't have all this drama surrounding us, we could have made this last forever. Maybe, if a couple of years down the road when Edward has reached his pinnacle, and if I am still single, we can rekindle what we have here today, but it would rely on Edward not changing too much.

This life had a way of altering a person, and I would hate to see Edward turn cynical and jaded from his choices. I would never try to convince Edward of this though. It would be selfish of me to try to persuade him that this isn't the life he had dreamt it to be. I would never try to talk him out of something that he has been dreaming about, and hopefully, I am wrong about him. Some people are made for this, maybe he is one of them. I have my doubts of course, but I will keep my mouth shut, and not express my concerns. This is a lesson that he needs to learn himself.

XXXXX

We spent most of the morning getting ready for the shoot. We are filming in one of the various secluded whirlpools located within the depths of the resorts lush foliage.

Apparently, James and Marcus had an awesome set yesterday. Tanya had bragged about it earlier, warning us that it is going to be hard to beat their chemistry, and having watched those two, go at it, first hand, I agree one hundred percent.

We were advised that we only had to do two different positions, and other than the beginning dialogue, we could do anything we wanted. So while we ate our lunch, we tried to guess what everyone else had done.

The easiest to guess is James and Marcus. They played the "in love" card. Serious and sexy. Edward predicted that Embry and Seth will have angry sex, since he had a feeling that they don't really like each other, and he also suspected that Aro and Emmett practiced classic porn, only worrying about the way they looked on camera. They would use the usual "Fuck yeah's", "you like that baby" and "Yeah, suck my big, fat dick" to entice an audience that had heard that shit a million times over. Yawn.

So, we decide our routine, which is to do what we know…need. Blatant white hot need runs rampant whenever we are in the presence of each other, so it should be fairly easy to translate this to the spectators. We also pick which positions we prefer. I pick one of my favorites, which is one that isn't very popular in porn, and Edward picks his favorite.

He has been wired, and on edge, all day. He is ready to do this, and so am I.

This is the last time that I will be performing in front of a camera, and I am so prepared to put this part of my life behind me.

I glance at Edward who is picking at his salad. He notices me ogling him, and he looks up.

"I am so fucking hungry." He says crankily. I think Edward borders on something similar to hypoglycemia, because when he doesn't eat enough, or at certain times, he gets downright surly.

"We'll eat a big dinner after the set." I say, and he smiles happily, and I am not sure if it is because of the set, or he is anticipating his feast afterward.

We've been eating like birds, and I could use a decent steak and a loaded baked potato myself.

We are sitting at a patio table, finishing our paltry lunches when Emmett strolls by. At first, it looks like he is going to ignore us, but then apparently he changes his mind, because he pivots on his heel, and walks straight up to us.

Shit. As if Edward's expression and mood hadn't been sour enough before Emmett came by...I dread it now.

When Edward sees Emmett making his way over his facial features screw up into an expression akin to sucking on a crushed Tylenol.

Emmett struts up with a huge smile on his face. "Good morning Jasper."

He doesn't even spare Edward a glance.

"I just wanted to wish you luck on set today. I figured you would need it since you ended up with the inexperienced, naïve one."

"I know how to fuck, asshole, which is more than I can say for you." Edward says with contempt.

I cringe, knowing that Emmett isn't going to just walk away after that. "Jealous, much?" He says smiling at Edward.

Edward starts to stand, but I pull his arm down. He complies, but it doesn't curb the malice. "Who the hell do you think you are? Strutting around…like you are something else. You are nothing. You are a one trick pony Emmett, a jack of one trade, and once I get out there I am going to wipe the floor with your meager stats. No one is going to remember who you are."

He scoffs. "Go ahead and try Eddie. You won't even last a year in this world. Y'know why? You wear your heart on your sleeve." Emmett smiles evilly. "I'm going to find much happiness in watching you get eaten alive."

"Emmett. Stop." I demand. His comments are hitting too close to home.

He looks at me, and his face softens. "When you are done playing with your toy, call me."

Needless to say, the rest of lunch is awkward. Edward looks far away in another world, and I can't help think about what Emmett said.

Edward is new to this. He is naïve, and he thinks that this is glamorous. He doesn't understand that the money is subpar, and there is no glory. It is a vortex that sucks you in, sucks the life out of you, and then spits you out.

He is going to find that out sooner or later, and this perfect person sitting in front of me, sulking beautifully over his wilted salad, is going to change.

My hope is that he will decide to leave it all behind, before he gets too immersed in the life…before he can't find his way out.

"C'mon darlin' let's go take a walk."

We hold hands as we walk along the beach, and then down the long wharf. When we are at the end of the pier I pull Edward into my arms and crash my lips to his. I haven't kissed him thoroughly in over twenty-four hours, and I don't think I would have been able to wait another twenty-four seconds to do it.

His hands rest loosely on my hips, as our lips and tongues entangle. My head tilts to the side, so I can get a better angle to delve my tongue in deeper.

It is a slow, sensual kiss. A kiss, meant to reenact the art of making love, one that makes your toes curl up, and your insides to tighten deliciously.

The wind blows our hair around our faces, as we hold each other fast. Both of my hands reach for his and our fingers entwine, as I pepper small kisses on his sweet supple lips; going for the top lip and then the bottom, sucking the succulent piece of flesh in between my teeth before moving on to the other, only then, to dive back in to the sweet recesses of his mouth, making him moan in ecstasy.

My mind reels with the immense pleasure that I get from kissing him. We fit together perfectly, mentally and physically. My eyes open with the reality of that statement, and how little it means with our situations being as they are.

I put my forehead on his, and shut my eyes. "Jas?" He questions, noting the somber expression I must be displaying.

"We should go get ready." I whisper, not wanting this to turn this moment into a rehash of the conversation we have already had.

XXXXX

The lighting is on, the mic's are positioned, the cameras are rolling. Tanya and Felix are standing by, with clipboards in their hands, and pencils behind their ears.

My cock understands these signs; it stiffens, and I am quickly finding myself very uncomfortable in my black and white checkered speedo.

I take a step into the whirlpool, so that I am in up to my knees waiting for the signal to begin. The water is warm, but definitely not as hot as a whirlpool is normally set at.

Edward is getting some last minute adjustments to his hair, which is funny because it is going to be wet in about two minutes. He glances over at me, as the woman plays with his hair, and winks conspiratorially at me, which causes a wide grin to spread across my face.

I am so ready to get this going, and evidently so does Tanya, because I get the signal.

So, it is lights, camera and action.

I submerge into the water fully. I sink down, so that my ass hits the cement at the bottom, engulfing my hair. I push myself up so that I spurt out of the water. I push my hair back and stand, letting the cameras traverse over my frame, catching the rivulets of water streak down my neck, chest and stomach. I rub my wet stomach, massaging the heated water into my skin. I sit on the ledge, and with my feet dangling in the water, I lean back on my hands, exposing my damp torso for another camera shot. I arch my back, and moan softly, acting all turned on…from what, I don't know. I didn't write this part of the script, so I guess I am just playing a horny motherfucker.

I balance my upper body weight on one of my hands, so I can bring the other one around to rub over my chest. I watch my own hand, as it massages my pecs, and pauses at my nipple, plucking it with my fingertips, before moving on. I flex and tighten my stomach muscles as my hand glides down to the band of my speedo. I pause for effect, but just briefly, and then I grab and mold my erection through the material. The camera moves closer so that it can get a good view of me accentuating the shape of my cock through the fabric. I continue to do that for a minute or two.

I know the camera is not on my face, but I play the part fully. My mouth is agape, and my head is thrown back in mock pleasure. In my peripheral, I catch Edward palming himself while he watches me.

I am turning him on, and the thought, spurs me to intensify my look, undulate my hips, and growl out my approval at my own ministrations, but Tanya interrupts my teasing Edward with the sign to move on to the next step.

I carefully, and always slowly, pull the wet swimsuit over my proud cock. It stands tall, glistening from the lights located just underneath the surface of the water in the hot tub. I waste no time in fisting it just over the head, and twist-pumping it. I do this from a couple different angles before I just wrap my hand around the full length and pump the base. The head swells, and throbs with the building pressure.

"Josh, is that you? Hey, watcha doing there?" Edward says, as he saunters toward me, looking gorgeous. The camera is watching his every move. He is wearing swim shorts, and a sexy as hell smirk, indicating for the camera that he knows exactly what I was doing.

I act surprised, and jump into the water, acting all sheepish. "Hey Ethan, long time no see. Are you here with your girlfriend?" The camera hones in on me attempting to, unsuccessfully, cover myself underneath the water.

"Oh, no man. I haven't been with Sarah for a long time now. I'm here on spring break with a couple of friends. Do you mind if I join you?"

"Sure, but why are you out here alone?" I ask, turning my head in a curious manner. Yeah, overacting…but that is just the way it is done.

"Oh, my buddies are at a club picking up chicks." He says, with his timely shrug.

"Why aren't you with them?"

"Because that isn't really my thing anymore."

"What do you mean?" I ask, but now instead of hiding my dick underneath the water I am stroking it.

"Well, umm…I like dicks now."

"Like this." I say, and stand up, exposing my hardened member for his view.

"Oh yeah." He drawls. "Especially like that."

"Well, come here then." I say seductively, crooking my finger in an obvious manner.

He slowly makes his way over to the edge, and is just about to descend into the water.

"CUT!" Tanya yells.

He looks disappointed that he wasn't allowed to get in, and Tanya must have noticed. "Go ahead and get in Edward. You can get wet."

He jumps in enthusiastically.

We stare at each other, both of us with a matching smirk on our faces. "Especially like that." I imitate the last words that Edward had said in an annoyingly shrill voice.

He pushes me back into the water and dives on top of me. We splash around while they adjust some of the lighting, spread some towels along the cement edge, and reposition the cameras and microphones.

"Okay guys. Time to get back to work."

I sit on the towels that were laid out, feet still in the water, and Edward is crouched in the water in between my legs.

And in three, two, one. Here we go.

Edward picks back up on the conversation that we were having. "And such a beautiful dick too." He envelopes my shaft in his large hand, and pumps a few times before he wraps his plump lips around it. I lean back on my arms again, to make room for the camera's close ups. Edward's green eyes look up at me while his lips surround my cock. He pulls it out, licking each side of it, like a melting ice cream cone, lapping it with his tongue before sucking it back into his mouth. He takes it deep, pushing his nose into my shortened pubes.

Oh, the camera rushes forward, always searching for a good shot of a deep-throater. Edward holds it in for several moments. He slowly slides back up my shaft and then repeats the action, swallowing around my cock when it is in to the hilt. My groan is authentic, and loud.

Once the cameraman shifts back, Edward resumes normal head. He hollows his cheeks and blows me superbly. I feel a tingling in my stomach, and I know I only have a few more minutes, at most.

"You are so good at that baby." I thrust my hips up into his eager mouth. "mmm…yeah…God, your mouth is perfect." He accepts my compliment with a moan around my cock, and moves faster.

He pulls my swollen dick out of his mouth, and jacks it, while he watches me fixedly. I am determined to get one kiss out of him before we are told to end the scene, so I grasp his face in both of my hands and kiss him with everything that I have.

He crawls forward, ready to take it upon himself to climb on top of me.

"CUT!"

Fucking sigh. I would have liked to see where Edward was going with that move at the end.

But I have to chuckle, because if I am frustrated, than according to the tight lipped expression on Edward's face, that would mean that he is beyond himself.

If he thinks this is bad…just wait.

"You guys ready for position one?"

"Sure." We both say in unison, and smile at each other.

I love Edward's smirks and grins, but I absolutely love those shy, sweet, genuine smiles he gives me every now and then. It shows the vulnerability that he still carries, and I adore that about him.

It sickens me to know that eventually those smiles won't exist anymore. It won't be much longer before his laughs are laced with discontent, and his smiles infected with cynicism.

Edward lies on his side along the towels. I ready myself by putting on a condom, smothering it with lube. I squirt some of the gel on my fingers, and position myself behind Edward. He pulls his leg up and rests his foot back on my calf.

"Alright!" Tanya claps. "Oh, I love this position and none of the other's chose it. Yay!" They position the cameras accordingly

Me and Edward mentally high-five each other. Being on our sides is one of my favorite positions. Especially to watch back on video. I think it is sexy, intimate, and rare. We take the time to kiss while we wait for the shoot to begin again.

We get the signal, and I immediately start with where we left off. Edward turns his neck so that we can kiss. Our tongues do a porn dance, sticking them out so that they can play without being concealed, but I reach around and angle his face further back so I can give him a proper kiss.

As we participate in some lust-laden tongue-twisting, my fingers prepare him for penetration. I massage the puckered entrance with my lubed fingers. As I massage his small passage, he pulses underneath my fingertips.

While I do this, Edward is jerking himself leisurely, thrusting his head through his forefinger and thumb repeatedly. His pace picks up as I push a finger into his opening, and then another. He is moaning and groaning into my mouth, and I know that I have to get this show on the road.

Reluctantly I pull away from Edward. I grip the base of my cock and push into him slowly. When I lay back down I snake my arm underneath him, and I grab his leg in the other, holding it up and out of the way.

I begin at a slow pace making sure Edward is comfortable with the position. Edward becomes verbal immediately. "Oh God…baby…uhhh…so fucking good."

I establish a good pace. My lips are at his neck and shoulder, biting and nipping at his flawless flesh. "I love your tight ass." I whisper in his ear, but loud enough for the mic's to pick it up.

I know this is going to look fucking fantastic on camera.

This shot is all about Edward…but I picked it for me, because when I watch this movie, this is what I want to see. Edward in front of the cameras, naked, illuminated by the "moonlight" surrounded by the greenery, and fake cricket noises.

I betcha he looks delectable right now.

I have this unsettling urge to touch him. That I need to touch him. My hand that is wedged beneath him is touching anything it can get to, but it isn't good enough. I lay his foot back on my calf so I can grasp his cock. His precum is drooling from the tip, and I catch the escaping liquid, rubbing it back over his throbbing shaft.

"Ohhh." He cries out.

I am in my own heaven, my dick is pulsating with a need for release, my head is swimming in a pool of rapture, and my body is vibrating with rabid electricity, so my hand lays dormant on his cock, but it does not matter, because with every one of my thrusts his dick bobs through one side of my fist and out the other.

"Edward?" I whisper brokenly into his ear, too low for the mic's to pick up. He groans in answer, and he tosses his head to one side. I can tell by the way he is hissing when he exhales that he is getting very close. "Are…are…" I breathe in a couple of labored breaths. "…are you going to cum darlin'?"

And just like that Edward lets the signal fly.

"CUT!" Tanya yells.

I pull out immediately, my cock bobs angrily in protest. "Umm…I was enjoying that y'know." I smile, at his forlorn expression.

"We can do it again later." I wink, and he smiles back.

He twists around, pushes me on my back and attacks my mouth. My legs spread to accommodate his thighs, and he immediately climbs in between them grinding his cock into mine.

I push him away, but only a fraction, grasping a fist of hair in both of my hands. "Ah fuck, darlin'. Do you know how much you turn me on? How much I fucking want you?"

His answer was to grind into me faster, and harder.

His lips went to the pulse point on my neck, sucking and nipping, while I moan ceaselessly. His knees come forward do that they are resting at my sides, sitting over top of me, he continues to mash our straining cocks together.

I massage his thighs, as we temporarily forget about the onlookers, and make out like there is no fucking tomorrow, which is too close to the truth. I had never lost myself on set before, but right now, I had no care who is watching our erotic display of open affection.

"CUT!"

_Huh?_

Tanya takes in our inquisitive looks, and shrugs. "I couldn't help myself. That was way too hot. Okay, the next position can't last that long, since you went on a little longer than we expected on the first one, which, I must say, was way too hot to stop you guys. And then we are going to try to fit in that little scene we just taped. So, great job! What's next?"

Edward and I are already in position for the next. "Umm…this." He says simply.

"Greeaat. I love it. Jas, do you need a new condom?"

It takes me a moment to find my bearings. Edward has me twisted in knots, and I fight through the haze. "um…" I go to check it, but Edward swipes my hand away and reaches behind him to check it himself. I feel his gentle hand working over my dick, and I shut my eyes letting that feeling wash over me.

"No, it's good." He says quietly, as if his mind is elsewhere. My eyes snap open to see him staring at me. I squeeze his thighs in silent answer to his own wordless communication.

_Yeah, I feel it too._

"Do you need more lube?" Felix asks, breaking us from our stare. Edward's hand which had already been at my cock, switches to his ass and fingers his hole gingerly. Felix notices Edward's expression, and rushes over to him, I hold out my hand, intending to do the task, but Edward has none of that, and Felix applies a generous amount to his hand.

He bends, so he is braced on one arm over me. His head is hanging over my chest, his hair tickling my skin, as he fingers himself. He moans softly, and turns his head slightly to lick my nipple, and then suck the bead into his mouth.

"Don't stop doing that Edward. The camera starts in three seconds. Okay?"

Neither one of us respond. He looks up at me, while he stretches himself. His eyes glaze over with pain and pleasure. I look down to see two only one finger extended, so that means he is taking in three right now.

_Fuckin' A._

I want to join in on the fun, so I take both of our cocks in my fist, and pump in a steady motion. Edward sighs, bites down on my nipple, and I cry out.

"Fuck me." He growls out his demand, and I have never been so happy to follow an order.

I hold my dick up, so Edward can slide onto it, slowly impaling himself on my rigid shaft. His muscle slides over each ridge of my engorged cock, sending a shiver of pure, unadulterated pleasure through me.

_No, this was not going to take long at all._

His legs are bent so that his feet are flat on the beach towels; one hand is also on the ground, keeping balance as he works over his cock. He jumps up and down enthusiastically over my dick, taking it almost completely out before diving back down. His head is thrown back, as his mouth spews incoherent words, leveled on hisses and groans.

He bends over me, folding his legs behind him. I take that opportunity to grab his ass in both my hands, holding it in place for my assault. I thrust from underneath him, rapid and agile. My breathing is coming out in quick pants, and my thrusts move from agile to erratic. I am burning up…everywhere. Edward has set a blaze in me that is all consuming; the white hot need, running feral through every inch of my body.

His soft utterances are driving me wild. He bends low, his breathing is heavy and strangled. He reaches for my mouth, and I accommodate him by lifting my hips higher, so his lips can reach mine. Our mouths devour each other.

He pulls away so that the tips of our noses are touching. "Jas…" He whispers. He shuts his eyes and opens them back up quickly, but in that split second they became ten times hotter…on fire. They are seriously, serious, and for that one second…I am afraid.

I am afraid of what is going to come out of those beautiful lips. Once I hear his small declaration I can sigh with relief…but just barely.

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me."

Cue the fucking signal.

I let it fly, because I am about two seconds away from blowing my load.

"CUT!" Tanya yells.

Edward stares at me, but my throat closes up and I can't say anything back. He appears to be appeased with my expression, because he smirks at me.

An arrogant, knowing smile. I push him off of me playfully, and we get ready for our final scene.

The release. Again, I sit on the ledge. Edward stands on the concrete seat in the hot tub which just so happens to make his magnificent cock stand proudly right in front of my face.

The production continues, as I lick and suck Edward's cock and balls.

He begins to fuck my mouth, and I recognize the signs. His thigh shakes under my palm, and his stomach jumps spasmodically. I release his dick from my mouth so the camera can get the desired conclusion. I pump it from base to tip, twisting when I reach the rim of his head. I lick and tug on his sac. I suck one of his balls into my mouth, rolling my tongue around it before letting it pop out of my mouth. "Oh God." He whispers brokenly.

"Cum on my face, beautiful." And with a heartfelt groan, his body jerks, and his creamy fluid spurts across my face. I lick my upper lip, gaining some of Edward's sweet essence on my tongue. I love the taste of Edward, and I savor it, while his climax runs its course.

The camera takes it's time pulling away, filming while Edward squeezes the remaining juices from his softening member.

I lie back on my elbow and begin to masturbate. I watch Edward kneel down in the tub, and run his hands up and down my thighs as he watches me reach for my fulfillment. He massages my perineum and my hips leave the ground, at his subtle but powerful touch.

I circle my hips into his hand insistently, loving the feeling of his hands and eyes on me while I get myself off. Too soon, my cock seizes in my hand, and I cease my hands movements while stream after stream of hot cum falls onto my slick skin. Edward rises over me to clean up my mess, after he licks all of the juices off of my chest, he takes my semi-hard cock in his mouth greedily, searching for any cum he may have missed.

Afterward, he pulls me into the hot tub with him, and we end the set with a passionate, tender, and very real kiss.

"CUT!" Tanya sighs heavily. "Oh. My. Fucking. God." Is all she can say. Her eyes are wide in surprise.

"That was ridiculously hot, guys." Felix manages to say for her.

Edward turns to me and smiles…smugly, knowing he had me back there.

"You just think you are all that," I tease.

He shakes his head adamantly. "…and a bag of chips too."

I laugh and roll my eyes at the old saying. "Well, c'mon Frito's. I think I promised you a nice big dinner."

XXXXX

I look in the mirror, one final time, straightening the collar of my red polo. Our date is tonight, and to say that I am nervous is a bit of an understatement. Edward has been acting a little strange all day. One minute he will look morose, and in the next I can see this bright light in his eyes.

I amble over to the window and peer outside; it is a little cloudy today. Apparently, there is supposed to be a huge storm sweeping through later on in the night, making tomorrow a little colder, and even darker than it is today.

A good day to leave the island…I suppose. This is our last night here and I definitely do not want to screw it up. I want to keep it light. I don't want to focus on the future, and I want to avoid letting Edward dwell on it, as well.

I have an eerie feeling about tonight though, due to Edward's strange mood. I had expected to see resignation and acceptance, but instead he seems even happier.

Maybe he is still riding the high from our awesome set last night…or what had come afterward.

But today he seems more…determined, than resigned.

I am unprepared to deal with a determined Edward. I don't know how much more I can endure his advances, only to turn them down. He doesn't realize that this is the only viable alternative.

I sincerely hope that he is given up trying to make something out of nothing.

He saunters into the room with a magnificent smile on his face. He looks gorgeous of course. He wears a simple light green polo shirt and white pants. The colors bring out his hair and eyes. Even though his new and improved attitude worries me, his smile is contagious and I can't help but smile back at his excitement about our date. I still have no idea where we are heading and I am anxious, to say the least, to find out what he has in store for us. "Are you ready to go love?" He asks tenderly.

We walk out onto the beach and I am perplexed, until we turn a corner, there in the water sits a pontoon-looking type boat illuminated with candles along a deck that wraps around a tented center. When we reach the boat the deck is littered with rose petals and champagne buckets. The pit of the boat is crowded with four small tables, two chairs are placed at each table.

There is a small buffet table with a variety of island favorite appetizers.

I turn to Edward with eyes and mouth wide, he has a shy smile on his face…and I had no words. No one has ever done anything remotely this intimate for me in all of my life.

I have never felt more…loved. Acid starts churning in my stomach, and I feel sick.

Two couples are already aboard the craft, and we are just waiting on the last.

The attendants begin pulling in ropes that had held the boat to the dock.

That is when I realize we will be drifting out.

I casually glance around the craft looking for the life preservers, or other life saving paraphernalia. Although I am not really sure what difference it will make to have the devices. If something happens to this boat we are all, literally, dead in the water.

_Fuck. _

I try to control my breathing, as a prominent fear of hyperventilation mounts, making the situation already worse than it already is.

Edward glances at me, and snickers. He circles his arm around my neck, and pulls me into his body. "Don't worry baby, nothing is going to happen to us." He lifts my chin with his finger. "Trust me." He whispers, searching my eyes for something deeper than what he is actually asking me to do.

God, I am such a chicken shit. This is the last night I have with Edward in possibly forever. I am not going to let my fear of becoming fish food ruin this experience.

_People did this everyday…right?_

"You're right," I concede.

As we wait for the last remaining couple to board the attendants stare at their watches intently, whispering words I can hardly hear or understand. They seem to have come to some sort of conclusion, because they clap their hands together to get everyone's attention.

But just as they do that, the other pair arrives, making their apologies.

We set out at once. We all hang out on the waterproof, cushioned seat that wraps around the perimeter of the boat. Edward is sitting with one leg bent underneath him, facing me, and I am doing the same. Our arms are stretched out on the rail, so that our fingers can play with each other as we make idle conversation. The other couples laugh and joke as we do, immersed in their own banter.

I enjoy the ambience even though I can see no land on any side of us anymore. We have been traveling for a little more than a half an hour and we have just settled into the middle of nowhere. I haven't seen any fins jutting out of the ocean yet, so I am still feeling okay.

Edward is in a kick ass mood, and I am so glad that we had our awkward and unpleasant discussion days ago. The result isn't what either of us wanted, but at least it took the guesswork out of tonight. We are free to enjoy each other's company without expectations, and the inevitable conversation looming ominously over our heads.

We return to the deck after we have snacks. He opens the champagne, and I grab the glasses. He fills them to the brim, and I am in the process of taking a sip.

"I won't do it," he blurts.

The glass pauses, pressed against my lips, as I stare at him over the rim. My eyes avert, and I continue sipping from my glass. I let the bubbly liquid burst on my tongue before I swallow it. "Won't do what?"

His eyes have that determined look that I have seen so many times earlier today, when it looked like he had been off in his own world.

"Porn. I would rather have you." My eyebrows shoot up and then that is when I see the other look that I had seen earlier. The moroseness. The emotion briefly makes an appearance in his eyes, before he is able to mask it.

_He doesn't want to stop._

I want to be selfish, my heart begs me to be…but I can't do it.

"No, Edward. I will not be responsible for you giving up a dream that has just become attainable to you. You would never forgive me for it, and I would never forgive myself."

"Jas…"

"Darlin', listen to me. You need to do it for yourself, and I need to move on from this. It isn't going to work. Please baby. I wish things could be different. I wish…" I am interrupted by the howling wind. Our hair is blowing all over the place, so we head back under the tent.

I want to continue our conversation, but a noise interrupts me. "Is…is that rain I hear?"

It is crowded, and we are in the center, under the tent's cover, so I can't see too much of what is going on beyond the small tent, but the pitter patter along the nylon surface is unmistakable.

Suddenly, the engine starts up, and one of the attendants yells out that we have to return early, and I happen to be in complete agreement.

But about ten minutes into our passage to get back to the island, the clouds which had only moments ago hinted at a slow brewing storm, have opened up and delivered on its threat - tenfold.

The last couple that still remained on the deck runs under the tent for cover from the now, heavy rain, but almost at once the boat begins to jolt us from side to side by the roughened waters, and we find we have nothing to hang onto. In fact, the tables slide back and forth making the area we had previously deemed as protection, now dangerous territory. We all scurry back onto the deck from the safety of the objects flying around the pit.

I had previously been hidden from the view, surrounded by individuals under the tent, but once we make it out onto the deck I have a chance to see what is really going on, and the scene before me is a living, breathing nightmare.

The rain is so thick and heavy. It pellets against the ocean with such a force that it bounces back up, causing a screen that is impossible to see through. Items are clanging and banging on the boat. Champagne bottles, and the ice buckets that held them, are sucked into the water. Some of the passengers and attendants, that don't have a problem maintaining their balance, start heaving things over the edge of the boat, to prevent someone from being harmed from one of the flying objects.

I want to scream, but I can't. My fear paralyzes me. I just hold on to the rail while the boat relentlessly jars, to and fro, from the harrowing weather. I watch in horror as one of the girls is tossed from one side of the boat to the other, like a ragdoll, before someone clamps their arms around her to keep her in place. It looks like she is screaming, but I can't be sure, the rain is torrential, I can't even see my hand clearly in front of my face, and the sound of it hitting the deck is deafening.

As the boat thrashes us about, I hold the railing with an iron grip, and watch a guy heave himself half over the edge. I thought he was going over, but his stomach lies against the railing as he vomits. Another man grips him firmly, anchoring him to the boat.

I can no longer stand to look at the chaotic scene unfolding in front of me anymore. The only other option is to stare out into the open water in front of us.

But that is a mistake…

Because the second I turn my head, deaths door opens and emits hell. I freeze in utter shock. The sight before us is one of complete and sheer terror.

We stand at the peak of a giant wave, getting ready to nose-dive into a blue torpedo of angry water.

We are about to be swallowed.

"Oh my God." I hear Edward whisper from close behind me.

The finality in his voice cannot be ignored.

This is not my overactive imagination. We are going to die.

Finally, my body takes pity on me, and I am allowed to shut my eyes for my final seconds. All I can feel and hear is the rapid beat of my heart as we plunge. The boat crashes down, and the sound of wood collapsing smashes any hope that remained that we would come out of this alive.

I wait for the inevitable; the feeling of the cold salty water as we all slowly submerge into our demise.

But it doesn't happen.

Is it over? Did we survive?

I open my eyes, just in time to see us climbing another wave, but it isn't the wave that takes the life's breath out of me.

_Holy motherfucking hell. _

We don't have to look up to see the black clouds…we are facing them. With the momentum from the last drop we are driving right toward the thundering sky.

"Jasper." I hear Edward's remorse and pain. He may have had more to say, but I know that no more words will be forthcoming. I want to turn around and grab a hold of him, but the boat is almost vertical, and we are already doing everything we can to stay where we are. We cling for our lives, letting a rusty steel railing decide our fate.

Surely the boat won't survive another hit like the last. Something had broken the first time, but who had the inclination to find out what it was? We will either sink or we won't.

We rise to the top of the wave, teetering for a split second, like a roller coaster waiting at the top of mountain, torturing us all, while it readies to make its descent.

And once again I stare down into the mouth of a monster.

White knuckles line the railing as we all instinctively stiffen our bodies for another crashing blow. As the boat plummets into the blackened ocean I squeeze my eyes shut, and hold my breath, waiting for the hit.

And just like the first, the boat slams into the water followed by more cracking of wood. My body is getting tired, and my strength is nearly depleted. My body protests, as I anticipate the next wave, not sure if that is the one that is going to send me over. I brace myself. Waiting…waiting…and then I feel it. Well, actually it is what I don't feel….

The rain. It has stopped, and besides the wind breezily whishing by us, it is eerily quiet.

I open my eyes, and remove the drenched tendrils from my vision to see the tattered boat gliding along calmer waters.

It isn't smooth by any means, the boat jerks back and forth, as it bobs up and down in the water, and on any other fucking day, being in water like this would have scared the shit out of me, but now I could just laugh, I could be relieved, I could have kissed Edward…and so I fucking do all three. With a laugh that is border line delirious I gather a soaked Edward in my arms and kiss the living daylights out of him.

I am confused when he abruptly pulls away. He stumbles over to the edge to hurl. While Edward continues to empty the contents of his stomach over the side of the boat, I check to make sure we hadn't lost anyone. I count bodies, and the count is true.

We are all fucking survivors.

Both of the attendants speak at a furious pace on the walkie-talkie as their breathing is still labored. I have a feeling, from some of their previous actions before and after we left, that they knew damn well that there may be a storm coming, and instead of refunding everyone's money, they risked our lives coming out here, thinking they had a chance to beat the storm.

I am sure whatever Edward, and the others, had paid for us to be here isn't going to be a fraction of the cost it will take to repair the damages the storm caused to the boat.

In several places the floorboards are cracked, and the tent lay in shreds, dangling half in and half out of the water. Two of the tables are now gone, as well as the entire buffet stand.

Three of the passengers are lying along the elongated seat, and the others are sprawled out on the floorboards, regaining their strength. As the adrenaline disintegrates, I feel exhausted and sick. Finding an open space on the small watercraft I drop to the deck as well. I let out another laugh, and I can feel eyes on me. I turn my head to see one of the other passengers that is lying next to me looking at me strangely, and then he laughs too.

He weakly holds out his hand, and I take it in mine, squeezing it, as we both smile at each other.

We actually lived to tell another person about this.

Edward returns and I make room for him next to me. We look at each other with so many mixed emotions. Before I tried to sort through them I look up at the sunset, the sole reason for us to be out here to begin with.

I had never seeing anything as beautiful in my life.

Because Edward and I are alive.

As we wade toward the island, we all sat along the floor, worn, and battered, finally able to find our humor. I lean into Edward and he wraps his arm around me, as we all try to make light of our very real brush with death.

When we arrive back to the resort a crowd has gathered along the shore. We can see people jumping up and down, when they recognize that it is our boat. It is dark now so they were all shadows, but as we draw closer, you can see the shocked expressions on their faces. Hands cover mouths, as wide eyes take in the remains of the boat.

I see Tanya, Felix, Marcus, James, and Emmett waiting anxiously to make sure we are still aboard.

I would have fallen to my knees as soon as I stepped off the boat if it isn't for James rushing up to me, and pulling me into his arms. He squeezes tightly, effectively holding me up. Edward is right behind me, and James doesn't hesitate to open an arm out to Edward who promptly falls into it.

Marcus claps us both on the back with a proud smile on his face. Tanya is in tears, but they are happy ones. Felix looks close to tears himself, but he holds them back with a series of ambiguous sniffles.

Emmett hangs back, and once everyone has come to greet us, Emmett steps through the small crowd that had gathered around us. His eyes are red-rimmed, and I know Edward and he don't get along, but Emmett and I have history, and that shit just doesn't disappear.

I pull him into a hug, and his strong arms wrap around me fiercely. He lets out a bark of laughter that sounds wrought with relief, and clutches me so tight my feet leave the ground momentarily. Edward remains behind me, waiting patiently.

Emmett lets me go and then looks at Edward. The silence stretches uncomfortably, and then, to the surprise of everyone, Emmett stretches out his arm in the form of a handshake. Edward stares blankly at his hand for a moment, but then gathers his wits and slowly extends his own arm, clasping Emmett's hand in his.

There is still animosity between the two, and they will never be friends, but Emmett isn't callous enough to wish death or serious harm to Edward.

Without a need for words, they nod, and let go of each other's hands.

Before me and Edward take off to recuperate from the confines of our own room, we decide to all meet for a late breakfast before we all head to the airport.

Except for Tanya and Felix who will be staying behind an extra week to make sure they had gotten all the shots, and then to get some much needed R and R after working with a bunch of spoiled brats.

We didn't eat dinner that night, opting for bed instead.

We crawl into bed, and I wrap my arm around Edward. We say our goodnights, and he lays his head on my chest, but I am so far from sleep. I am trapped by my torturous thoughts.

We actually defied death today, and the thought of that is surreal.

I almost died today…and so did Edward. It was easy to make light of it, after we had found safety, but lying here in the dark I can think of nothing else, except how short life is. I ponder this thought.

Did it change my mind about my predicament with Edward?

Sadly not. Well, at least not entirely.

"Edward?" I ask, not sure if he is still awake.

He looks up at me wide-eyed. Not even close to looking like he is tired. I am extremely surprised he is still awake after our disastrous evening. "How about you coming to visit me, or vice versa in about...three months, and we can re-evaluate everything." He looks disappointed for a moment.

"Three months?…How about two?" He tries his hand at bargaining, but it is non-negotiable. "You're going to be getting a lot of jobs in the next few weeks, and I think you're going to be pretty busy. Three months will fly by."

Edward looks sad for a second, and then contemplative. Eventually, he brings his eyes to mine. "Okay. I like that idea. You should come to my place." He says shyly.

I cup the cheek that isn't lying on my chest. "Okay. That sounds good." Three months is a long time, but it is a hellavu lot better than never.

I will try not to focus on what Edward will be doing in that time, and then we will be able to see where we stand. With some experience under his belt, maybe he will decide he doesn't like it, which seems pretty laughable, or maybe after going that long without him I will decide that it doesn't matter what he does for a living.

In my heart, I know that won't be the case, but I am willing to keep an open mind for now and we will deal with the rest three months from now.

I put all my misgivings aside because I want to make sure I get some sleep because I plan on waking Edward up very early in the morning for a little rendezvous before breakfast.

I kiss Edward ever so lightly on the head so I don't wake him up.

I shut my eyes, and immediately my insides feel like they are swaying back and forth. With a shocked gasp, my eyes pop open to visually confirm that I am no longer on the water. I steady my breathing, and attempt to shut my eyes again, but my equilibrium is all fucked up and I feel like I am moving from side to side again. I start to panic, my heart starts to beat wildly, and again, my eyes fly open.

"Yeah…that is why I haven't fallen asleep yet." He says out of the darkness.

I sigh heavily.

"Edward, you don't get to plan any more dates."

* * *

**AN: So, a little suspense with some boy porn. That date night was actually a true story. I added the additional wave, but other than that I had the same experience in Jamaica. We really all thought we were going to die. The next year, we went back and I almost died in another completely different incident. Needless to say, we found other islands to go to after that.**

**Although I am sure my ex, would have preferred to go once more…third time is a charm, and all that. ANYWAY,**

**Please let me know what you thought. I would really appreciate it. I will respond as soon as I can figure out what POV I am going to use for the next chapter.**


	10. Distractions

**AN: I hope you are enjoying the story so far. I'm thrilled with all of the new subscribers and reviewers. Keep 'em coming…please…**

**Thank you!**

**Cullen818 is my ace in the hole. Thanks bb.**

**Disclaimers: I do not own twilight or any of its characters. This story is intended for mature audiences only.**

* * *

**Chapter 10 – JPOV (Distractions)**

I must have finally fallen asleep at one point, because my eyes snap open, and I am blinded by the sun flowing in through our window. After that fucking disastrous date yesterday, we had both been so sick when we arrived back to the room that we had forgotten to pull the shade before falling into bed.

I don't think anyone will ever be able pay me enough to get on a goddamn boat again. My stomach churns at the thought. I roll over, and practically fall out of bed. I stretch my sore muscles, trying to loosen them up in vain. I lift my hands high over my head and tilt to the side, stretching my side. I groan from the shooting pain that runs up my back.

_Great, the plane ride home today is gonna be a blast. _

That thought reminds me that this is our last morning together, until I meet him at his place in Chicago in three months time.

It's going to feel like a lifetime…to me. I glance over at sleepy head, as I cross the room to head for the bathroom.

His head is buried in a pillow, his soft auburn locks positioned in a million different directions. The sheet lies along his hips, just displaying the ripe curve of his gorgeous ass.

I scamper quickly to the bathroom to take care of some morning activities, so I can quickly return to Edward without wasting much of the time we have left. I take a leak, brush my teeth, wash my face and am back in bed in less than five. I climb in slowly, and quietly, resisting the urge to pounce on him. While I was in the bathroom he had, at some point, turned to his side, with his back facing me. I gently pull on his shoulder, so that he is now lying on his back.

Every morning this week I had awakened before him, and every morning I stared at him until his tired green eyes opened, then I waited for that moment of recognition when he realized that I was in bed waiting for him. I loved watching his drowsy eyes come alive, and a slow, crooked grin spread across his face. Every time, he would pull me into a very chaste hug that had nothing to do with passion, but instead wrought with tenderness and genuine affection. These have been some of my favorite moments of the week. But I know from experience that it could take another hour before he opens those beautiful eyes, and we can't have that…not today, when our time is limited.

The sheet is wrapped around his waist, exposing his ivory chest and stomach to my hungry eyes. My hand hovers inches above him, trying to figure out where I should touch him first. Almost anywhere I am liable to caress him will elicit a response that will surely wake him up immediately.

Edward's body is so sensitive. Throughout the week, I had found several places on his body that would inevitably draw out a long moan, a frustrated growl, a hiss or gasp.

He loves to be touched and caressed. He also loves to be groped and man-handled. Edward is diverse in every sense of the word, and I love how open-minded he can be about everything.

I grab the edge of the sheet and pull it down over the bulge that lay just beneath. His morning wood lies thick and heavy over his belly, moving up and down minutely with his steady breaths.

And that is how I decide that I want to wake him up this morning. I crawl over him so that I am straddling his thighs, and with the slightest touch of my fingertips, I position his cock vertically, so I can wrap my tongue around his swollen head.

"Guh….Oh God," he whispers, but his eyes remain shut.

His hips move slowly in a sensual undulation, while he stretches his torso and arms, by reaching them high above his head, and arching his back lasciviously. I gaze at him, hypnotized by his simple but sinuous action. When he is done, his eyes are open, and he stares at me, as I take his head in my mouth, teasing it with my tongue and lips, switching from gentle suction, to flicking and nibbling, and then back to sucking.

"Come here baby." He motions with his arms for me to crawl up his chest, so I do. His hands are in my hair instantly, and his mouth devouring mine, but almost as fast as it starts – it ends. "No fair." He pouts, but in a sexy-as-fuck way, and not in an annoying girly way.

"What?"

"You've already brushed your teeth. Let me up." He pushes at my chest. I hesitate, not wanting to give up my advantageous position. I rub my cock on his belly, and then surrender, swinging one of my legs over him, so he can get out from underneath me, but when I had grinded my cock into his stomach a little precum had dribbled out and onto his skin. I decide to tease him some more, by picking up the small bead with my fingertip. Edward opens his mouth thinking I am going to deposit it there, but instead, I bring it up to my own lips and I suck the finger into my mouth.

"Fuck you Jas." He growls, and then clasps my cheeks in his hands roughly, holding me still for his invasion. His tongue plunges into my mouth, looking for a taste of any essence that may be left on my tongue.

I grip his hair, and pull his head back, so that his throat is exposed. Pure heat flashes in his eyes as he stares up at me. His head is slanted, and I bite his tantalizing jaw. "There is plenty more where that came from. Now go…and hurry." I add the last part as a warning.

He jumps off the bed to take care of his business. I lay back in bed, with my hands underneath my head, feeling pretty smug about the response I just drew out of him. Although, he could possibly argue that he has just as much to boast about, as I look at my throbbing dick.

He comes out of the bathroom, still fully aroused, and heaves himself on the bed and over me, but I quickly switch back to our original positions.

Lordy, I loved having Edward beneath me.

I place hot wet kisses along his chest. I tease and pinch his nipple, as I suck and lick the other one until it puckers up. He squirms and moans out his pleasure, and it is so fucking hot. He seems to be quite a bit more vocal when we are in private, as opposed to being onset. The camera would eat this up, but I am secretly pleased that he has reserved this piece of himself for just me to witness.

I start moving lower, trailing hot tongue kisses down the planes of his stomach. "What are you doing? Come back up here."

"I want to suck you Edward." I mumble, as I continue to eat up his abdomen.

"Well, turn around then, because I want to suck you too."

I am not one to turn down a sixty-nine, and Edward had to be the best blowers I have ever come across. So yeah, to say that I am up for that would be a massive understatement.

_Let's get it the fuck on._

I turn around so Edward's head is between my thighs below me. He suckles on my balls for a moment, before angling my cock for his mouth. I do the same thing, taking his dick deep down my throat and bobbing my head up and down.

Between sucking him, and the sensations from whatever the fuck he is doing to me down there, I can hardly keep a coherent thought, but suddenly he stops, and I feel a tapping on my back, and it registers that he is trying to get my attention.

"Let's not make this a contest okay?" He pants.

I slow down immediately, understanding that I am bringing him a little too close to the edge, a little too soon. I reach forward to lap at his balls. I suckle one of his nuts into my mouth, and roll it along my tongue.

When I had leaned forward, I had taken some of Edward's access away, so he makes due with teasing my balls, and licking the area located just underneath them. He sucks at the sensitive skin for a moment, and then trails his tongue to my ass, circling my entrance.

Involuntarily, all movements on my part halt, as I feel the sensations of his tongue swirling around my opening. The shock of his touch makes me want to pull away, and grind my ass into his face, all at the same time.

His hands spread my cheeks as he licks the puckered skin over and over, flapping his tongue and then giving it sharp, delicious jabs. I strain for composure, forcing myself not to push my ass into his face. It had been so fucking long since I had been rimmed. Goddamn, so fucking long, and I had forgotten what this had felt like. I had forgotten that it could feel so damn amazing. I take my aggression out on his thigh, biting, licking and rubbing my face into his skin while he has his way with me.

I grab his cock and I stroke it with fervor. I am too afraid to put it into my mouth, since I have been clenching my teeth in the sweet fucking agony of a long forgotten pleasure.

It feels like heaven.

Knowing the reaction he is getting from me makes him relentless in his torment. He presses his lips against my hole and hums. And my heaven has suddenly lit up, and is now a blazing holy fire. The vibrations from his action cause me to scream out. My dick bobs heavily on his chest begging for a release from this everlasting torture.

"Edwa…darlin'…please…" I don't know what I am begging for. I don't want him to stop, but I know he can't go on.

He, regretfully or thankfully, removes his tongue, but he starts probing with one of his fingers. His hips are gyrating, imitating what he would be doing if that wasn't just his finger inside of me. "Please Jas?"

I know what he is asking.

Since we have known each other, he has, grudgingly, complied with all of my stupid demands, because he just wants to be with me, _fuck_. He was making me feel so fucking good right now, and this is when he is just probing lightly. I want to feel him inside of me. All of him. It seems stupid now that I would have declined the offer. It makes no difference; the next three months are going to be hell, regardless.

I sit up and move away from him slightly. I sit with my legs crossed, "Indian style", on the bed, and he is on his knees directly in front of me, making him quite a bit taller. He looks down, and I can see a series of emotions crossing in his eyes…the most prominent being rejection. He thinks I am turning him down, and it makes my heart hurt.

"It's been a long time," I warn, as I smile at him shyly…and he understands.

He cups my face, and crashes his lips to mine. "Me too, Jazz. But I want to with you…so bad."

"Me too." I grab the lube, and Edward watches as I squeeze some of the gel on my fingertips. I drop to all fours – well…three, since one hand is reaching behind me to slide my slippery fingers between my ass cheeks.

I spread my legs, so I can give Edward the best view as my fingertips glide across the wrinkled cavity. I can feel my hole contracting, as the muscle tightens in anticipation. I watch Edward, sitting back on heels, watching me. He sits, mesmerized, watching me prepare myself for him.

So, I do what I do best, and make a show out of it, although it doesn't take much effort, because watching Edward with his mouth gaping open, his eyes half-lidded, and his hands tightly clenched on his thighs, is the biggest fucking turn-on, making everything I do completely natural, and authentic.

I moan as I slip a finger in, and then gradually another. I circle my hips around them, widening and stretching myself for the intrusion. Edward's eyes shine with profound passion, and his hand flies up to his hair unconsciously running it through the soft mass, before grabbing the ends in a white-knuckled fist. His other hand switches from cupping his balls in his hand, and rolling them around, to fast strokes on his dick.

It seems to me we are both ready, so I stretch my torso across the bed to reach the packet on the nightstand. I crawl over to Edward, rip the condom open, and place it on his shaft. He already had the lube, ready and waiting, in his hand, so he squirts some directly on the tip of his dick.

I coat the rubber, by smearing the gel along it. Edward throws the lube aside, and grabs my neck to pull me in for a searing kiss.

Our tongues duel, and our hands bump, as we jerk each other off. We are both groaning and moaning, ready for more, but can't seem to pull our lips away from each other. Again, I try to back off, but he drags me back for yet another go. His mouth is hot and tasty. Our teeth clang; lips get scraped and abraded, as passion supersedes caution, and gentleness.

He rips his mouth away. With his chest heaving he positions himself behind me. I drop back down on all fours, and Edward immediately drapes himself over me. He attacks the back of my neck, and bites down hard, as his dick slides up and down in the fissure of my ass.

"Does that feel good baby?" Edward whispers, as he fucks my cheeks.

"S-So good. Please put it in now." I know it is going to hurt, and I don't want to agonize about it, opting just to get the painful part over with.

"What do you want me to do?" He says, sitting up and spanking me with his engorged cock.

I growl. "I want you to fuck me darlin'."

I groan, as I feel the head of his dick enter me. That doesn't hurt so much, but he starts to push in further, and yep, there's the pressure. My breath is raspy, and as he continues to bury himself inside of me, the heaviness becomes too much for me to hold in any longer, and I whimper. Edward stops instantaneously. "It's okay Jas, I am almost there," he consoles.

I can't speak, but I reach back, and grasp his thigh, rubbing it a few times, telling him without words that it is all good.

He forges ahead, rubbing my back in soothing circles, until he is fully seated inside of me. As I expand to accommodate him, I relax beneath him. He lays himself over my back again. "Jas…" His forehead drops to my shoulder, taking in several gulping breaths. "You feel so fantastic. I…I…"

I twist myself around to put my scalding mouth against his. Our tongues strain to give and receive, in our awkward position.

He pulls away. "Tell me what feels good, okay?" He begins thrusting in all directions, but stops when I cry out. "Right there, baby…right fucking there." He answers for me. He pushes against my prostate again; my vision escapes me, and is replaced with a kaleidoscope of patterns and colors.

"Oh fuck…" I groan. I blindly reach for my throbbing cock. I spread the dampness that had accumulated on my head around the base of my dick, and then I start jacking in earnest. I rock my hips back and forth against him. I can hear moaning, and the slapping of skin…and my insides roll. On the top of one long, ragged breath, I moan a litany of expletives and prayers, which cause his hands to grip tighter on my ass, and his motions to gain velocity.

Sweat pours down from my face, as a blistering heat ransacks my body. The one arm that I hold myself up with is quaking, and about to give way. My hand is pumping like a madman on my cock, as I try to keep pace with Edward.

My stomach clenches, sparks of sensations begin in the pit of stomach and spiral outward, inducing a heart stopping, tumultuous climax. There is no time for a warning, and I couldn't have given one, even if there had been time. My release shudders through me, sending tremors throughout my body. Edward cries out above me, jerking with his own spasms of ecstasy.

Still trembling, I collapse on the bed. His shrinking cock falls out on my way down, and he rips the condom off, throwing it into the waste bin next to the bed. I turn over on my back, and we share a few chaste kisses before he lies tiredly along my chest.

"Is there anything you can't do perfectly?" I question.

He just laughs lightly, but then he looks up at me, completely serious. "I _don't_ ask to do that Jas. I have _never_ asked _anyone_ to do that. The only reason I have done it in the past is because they had done the asking."

"Well, it felt amazing. You are a natural."

"Jas…" He starts out nervously, which always makes me anxious, as well. "I don't expect us to be exclusive during our separation, but maybe we could both avoid doing what we just did until we figure what this is three months from now."

Stupidly, it hurt that he isn't asking for us to remain faithful to each other, but it is a fool's wish. Impossible, for what he has plans for. But I don't hesitate to agree to his suggestion; because even after that experience, there is still no one else I will want do that with. I tip his chin higher, when his eyes had fallen to my chest.

"I think that is a great idea darlin'."

XXXXX

We try to keep breakfast light, but the tension is lying just underneath the surface of our placid smiles, and meaningless conversation. We speak, but hardly talk. We listen, but don't hear a thing at all.

After the farce is over, Tanya and Felix stand in the large reception area of the hotel; Tanya supplies us with well wishes and hugs, while Felix issues a friendly handshake. "Is this it Jas?" Tanya asks, as she hugs me.

"Yep." I say half-heartedly, but trying to sound happy about it. I mean, I am happy. It's just hard, when you are changing all you have ever known for your whole adult life. I had no idea what I am planning to do with the rest of my life, which inspires even more trepidation, but I know I am doing the right thing for me. "But stay in touch, okay?"

She smiles, and nods, with tears in her eyes.

I look at Edward who is waiting for me solemnly. I don't hesitate to grab his hand, and squeeze it lightly in reassurance, and comfort, but the pain is gnawing away at my insides, which I know will soon infect my façade, and be visible to everyone around me. I just want to find a corner by myself to lick my wounds.

"Edward…" I beseech, almost desperately, and the look in his eyes makes the ache intensify. I drag him into a secluded corner, as we wait for the van to take us to the airport. "Can…Can we just say goodbye here…now….and not at the airport." I remember, all too well, the last time I left him at the airport and I didn't want a repeat.

He looks at me in horror. "Noooo Jas…" he pleads. "Nooo…that is like three more hours before we take off. Noooo."

"Okay, okay…just promise me something then."

He shakes his head, waiting.

"No tears," I say simply.

He stares…for a long time. "Okay. No tears."

And we didn't…we hung onto each other for dear life in the van on the way to the airport. We didn't do a lot of talking, but we did a lot of staring, a lot of kissing and subtle touches, like a brushing of a hand over arms and necks.

When we got to the airport we hugged for a good five minutes, and only then, did we reluctantly separate. He punched in all of his personal info into my phone, and I did the same. And then keeping to his promise, we said our goodbyes with dry eyes.

I had barely gotten off the plane when my phone buzzes.

It's a text from Edward. _"I made it home. How bout u?"_

"_I just landed. :)"_

"_Call u later?"_

"_Please."_

XXXXX

"Hey you. How are ya?" I say cheerily into the phone, when I see Edward's number on the display. It has been two weeks since we had last saw each other, and I looked forward to the few times a week when we talked.

"Great Jas. How are you?" His tone sounds off, but I ignore it, because it is probably just my overactive imagination.

"Good. I was just getting ready to watch some football." I am a big Longhorn fan, and we are playing the Cornhuskers in a serious conference showdown.

"Yeah. That sounds fun." He still sounds forlorn to me.

"You okay?"

"Yeah…"

I wait because it seems he has more to say, so I keep silent.

All I can hear was a faint buzz of the line, and I know something is up. Edward is definitely a chatterbox. For him to go this long without saying something is scary.

"What's wrong darlin'? Talk to me."

"I…I… _Twinkdom_ wants me to do a video for their website next week," he blurts out.

The knife is cruelly accurate, targeting the sensitive organ under my breastbone.

"Oh yeah? Who with?" I try not to sound jealous. I try to sound happy for him.

I hate how I feel.

"Jared Jenks." I haven't heard of the guy. _Fuck_. This is hard.

What the hell do I say?

"_Have a great time getting your brains fucked by a guy named Jenks. I'll be sitting home, crying for the next three months." _Somehow doesn't sound appropriate.

"Oh. Haven't heard of him," I mutter instead.

"I think he is new, too," he says quietly.

"Oh."

Is that all I can fucking manage? C'mon man…come up with something that will not make you sound like a hopeless, pathetic piece of shit.

_You are bringing him down. Suck it up…for him._

I muster up all my strength to lie convincingly. "I bet you are really excited. Wow, that's great. I knew you were going to be a hit." I say with false happiness. _Kill me now_. I just want this conversation to be over already. I knew this was coming, I just thought I was more prepared.

"Can I call you afterward? Y'know to tell you about it?"

_Why? _

_Why the fuck would he want to do that to me?_

Because he's nervous, asshole. Cause you were his mentor, you selfish prick.

"Yeah…umm, if you need to." I hope he hears the hesitance in my voice, so that he will only call me if there is a problem, and not just to tell me what a great time he had.

"Thanks," he whispers, relieved. "I miss you already." His voice barely audible through the receiver by the time he finishes his short confession.

"Miss you too, darlin'." I say thickly.

We usually talk for an hour or so each time we call, but I just can't find it in me to keep up pretenses right now, so that is how the call ends.

XXXXX

The football game is doing nothing for me. My body fidgets with agitation. I pace my living room like a caged animal, looking for an outlet from the distressing thoughts consuming me.

Edward kissing a guy named Jenks.

Edward touching a guy named Jenks.

Edward rolling around naked with a douche named Jenks.

I quickly realize - I need a distraction.

I check my email, but that is a mistake because there is another email from Rosalie. I pull my hands through my hair, and scrub my face with my hands in acute frustration.

_What the fuck does she want now?_

She disowned me, along with my parent's, years ago, but the last couple of months she has been emailing me every other week. I read her first couple of emails, just in case something had happened to her or my parent's, but Charlie and Renee are fine. Her emails were just light hearted attempts at friendliness, like I was some sort of best friend that had just simply moved away, and she just wanted to keep contact.

Except I am not her best friend – I am her fucking twin.

We had been so fucking close. _What the hell happened to us?_ Stupid question. I became a disgusting faggot – that's what happened.

Instead of reading her email, and not responding, like I normally do, I just delete it right away. If she continues to spam me than I am just going to have to get a new email address and move on from the one that I opened when I had only been a freshman in high school.

Still looking for an activity that will take my mind off of the issues plaguing me, I comb the house for any maintenance or repair that needs to be done.

Once I replaced the two burned out light bulbs in the laundry room, rearranged the pantry, and fixed the track on the closet door in my bedroom, I collapsed on the sofa in aggravation because my mind is still reeling from with thoughts of Edward, the message from Rosalie, and a guy named Jared fucking Jenks.

It takes all of my restraint to not get on the internet and hunt down the fucker. I know it is only a matter of time until I lose the battle on that one, but I am nowhere near ready to look at him today.

I absently glanced outside and my eyes light up as I survey my small front yard. It has been hotter than hell outside, and that is why my yard work had gone slack, but today, I don't give a shit.

XXXXX

_Let's make this complicated  
Thinking is overrated  
We're busting out  
Of this shitty little town_

_Green grass and colored lenses  
Tear down these picket fences  
Burn in our beds  
While the city lies sleeping..._

I hum to the tune of Offspring's _Nothingtown, _as it blares through the portable radio on the porch. I stop to wipe the sweat pouring down my body, and down a bottled water.

I came out here on a mission. I have pulled weeds, trimmed back bushes, raked the grass, and edged. The lighthouse shaped thermometer that dangles from the porch rail shows that it is ninety-one degrees, which is an abnormally hot day for the first week in November. My shirt had been discarded long ago, as I had worked steadfast, in the sweltering heat.

I take a quick break. I pull out the water hose and spray the icy water along my chest and stomach. I bend at the waist to soak my neck and hair. I flip my hair back, and feel a jolt when I am met with most gorgeous pair of azure eyes.

"I am so sorry,"I say, as he swipes at the beads of wetness on his skin and t-shirt.

He chuckles. His laugh is throaty and thick, but his smirk is light and friendly. "That's alright. It felt good."

I can't mistake the journey his beautiful eyes make down my damp chest. I can still fell rivulets of water slide down my neck and abs. The top of my low cut jeans are soaked, and probably hanging lower than propriety allows. His tongue darts across his full top lip nervously, and his eyes jump back up to mine, guiltily.

_He is so checking me out._

I can't help but form my own smirk, noticing his body for the first time. He stands about 6'2"; he has light brown, shoulder length hair that gleams and flows freely, with the light late afternoon breeze, indicating that it's probably as soft and healthy as it looks. He appears to be slim in his dark green t-shirt, and dark jeans that fit him perfectly. He has a small tattoo on the inside of his forearm, and I wonder if that is his only one. I look up at a smile, full of perfectly straight, white teeth. His lazuline eyes are surrounded by long thick black lashes.

Now _this_ is a distraction.

"I…I just came over to introduce myself. I just moved in two doors down and…well, I just wanted to say hi." He finishes lamely, his hands rub along the side of his thighs, up and down, in a nervous action.

"Well, I'm Jasper." I hold out my hand, because I just have to touch this guy.

"Hi…I'm Garrett." He hesitates for a brief second, and then clasps my hand in a solid grip.

_Very nice. _

I start thinking of the many things he can grip on my body, and unwillingly, an image of the last time Edward and I were together floats through my mind. Edward was gripping my sides, in an effort to control his movements while he drove into my ass.

_Fuck_.

I am _not_ going to do this.

He is doing his thing, and I have to do mine. I can't put my life on hold, while he goes about his business. He was the one to suggest that we don't remain exclusive. In fact, I am one hundred and ten percent sure that he isn't going to be, and if we can't come up with an arrangement that suits the both of us than we don't have a future. I don't want to depend on Edward and I coming up with a compromise, when after three months, he could easily say that he can live without me.

"So very nice to meet you Garrett." I offer him a slow sensual smile.

He translates it appropriately. His smile deepens. "Can I give you a hand here?"

I take only a second to think about it, because I know what will happen if I think about it any longer. In only the matter of a second it already seems like a thousand questions flit through my mind.

I tamp them down stubbornly. "Only if you stay for dinner afterward."

I think he growls a little bit. "Well, come on then Jasper." He removes his t-shirt in one fell swoop, revealing a sculpted, tanned chest and abdomen. "Let's get to work."

He bends low to grab one of the trash bags off of the ground, and his nicely shaped ass is in the air. His jeans drop an inch displaying a pair of gray and yellow stripped Calvin Klein's.

This time it is me that has to suppress a growl. And when only moments ago my mind had been filled with thousands of questions, at this moment my brain could only focus one…

Are those boxers or briefs?

* * *

**AN: So, what do you think? Was it selfish of Edward to want to call Jasper after his first shoot? Do you think that Jasper should have a little of fun while Edward is exploring porn without him? And most importantly, are those sexy boy panties Garrett (who is NOT the person in the pic I posted on my profile - that's Peter and he comes later)is wearing boxers or briefs? **

**This story will have some twists and turns, so I hope you guys will just hang in there.**

**Thanks everyone! I really appreciate you taking the time to read. Please review if possible.**


	11. Decisions

**AN: FYI – I finally got around to updating Burnt Marshmallows. So, check it out if you are so inclined. I am supplying reviewers with a little something from next chapter in that reply to tie you over until next chapter. **

**Thanks to Racejunkie for pimping this story on JaspersDarlin's Facebook page. If you have the hots for Jasper, like I do, go and check out the JaspersDarlin's blogspot or Facebook page.**

**I got all bought up on the FGB auction, so updates might be slightly infrequent in the next month until I can satisfy those obligations.**

**My lovely beta is on vacation – so, don't be pointing out all my mistakes. She'll get to them when she gets back.**

**Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

* * *

**Chapter 3 - Decisions (JPOV)**

"Don't worry, I can do these later."

"I want to help. Please." Garrett insists.

He sets the pile of dirty dishes on the counter, as I relent, and fill one side of the sink with soapy water. I start to reach into the cabinet underneath the sink, but change my mind. Normally, I use kitchen gloves to wash the dishes, since it was commonplace to find the camera's zooming in on my hands during filming, but since that doesn't really matter anymore, and I don't want to seem like a sissy wimp, I forgo the gloves.

It is freeing actually, letting go of some of the limitations imparted on me due to my past employment. As the restrictions lift, it becomes a reality that I have left that part of me behind me for good.

Apparently, however, this particular transition is a little more complicated than I thought, and it is going to take some getting used to, because the freedom of abandoning the latex loses its luster as soon as I bring the first dish under the scalding water. I scrub the dirty plate, and the feeling of my hands in, and on the mushy leftovers make my face curl up in disgust. Evidently, I don't like to touch food that's been left for the garbage disposal.

Garrett notices my discomfort, and his hand automatically reaches for the faucet. "The water too hot?"

"No…I usually wear gloves." I admit, sullenly, as I look at my hands that already look like they have second degree burns on them from the temperature of the water. I visualize my hands a couple of months down the road; hands that are rough, calloused and wrinkled. My imagination overflows, and takes it a step further, by adding warts and age spots for the perfect effect. I smother the whimper in my throat, but can't prevent the shiver that runs uncontrollably down my spine.

Who am I kidding? I am a sissy wimp.

"Then why aren't you wearing them now?" Garrett inquires, hiding a smile behind his lush, shapely lips. His eyes are light and playful.

I just shrug. I turn my head to the side, attempting to hide my shame. What guy really wears gloves to wash dishes? Gay or not?

"Don't be embarrassed." Garrett grasps my wet hand, turns it over, and presses his lips to the inside of my wrist. "I happen to like soft hands." I feel the heated breath of his whispered utterance on my kissed skin, while his eyes search mine. He moves closer to me, and I automatically turn my body into his. "And I like soft lips." Each word brings his mouth closer. By the time he murmurs the last word his lips are on mine…and it feels in-fucking-credible.

We are both hesitant, our hands hover…itching with the desire to touch, but we don't dare, and minimal pressure is applied, as our lips move over one another's. It isn't a chaste kiss, the opposite, in fact. It's purely erotic. Our mouths barely touch, as our lips open and close over each other, dancing together, as breaths mingle.

Garrett finally decides he needs more contact because he snatches my hips in a firm grip, and backs me into the counter. His hands move from my waist to find purchase on the ceramic surface behind me, caging me in. "Dammit Jasper." He declares, as his tongue licks the seam of my lips, demanding to be let in. I surrender without hesitation and his tongue plunges, meeting mine in a passionate, tongue-twisting kiss. Our tongues greet each other, and then move around to explore the new terrain. My hands cup both sides of his neck, and my thumbs brush back and forth along his jaw, as our kiss deepens.

We are almost perfectly aligned, so our erections make contact, and that's all it takes…the dam of desire is broken wide open. He pushes my ass into the counter, as his hips make slow circles over mine, pressing firmly at the end of each rotation.

_God, he's so fucking hard._ I can feel the size and shape of his cock, and my mouth waters.

Exquisite torture, it what it is – because I know I should stop him…because I _will_ stop him, but I just want one more minute, another kiss, maybe two more swirls…and then maybe, just maybe I can stop.

I have to. I need to tell him about my previous employment first…about Edward.

I rip my lips away. "Fuck." My breathless oath awakens Garrett from his lustful haze.

His breathing is rapid. His toned chest rises and falls with each labored breath. His blue/green eyes are darker and more intense. "What?" He whispers, feverishly. His eyes plead for a quick resolution to whatever is bothering me, so we can quickly get back to what we've started here.

"I have to tell you something first."

I don't know how to start. Should I just blurt it out? I watch him, as I try to come up with the right words. I can see the confusion, and then something that looks alot like understanding.

"I know who you are." He says, quietly. His head is down, but his sharp azure eyes peek up through his lashes.

"Great." I huff. I push him away, and try to leave the kitchen, but his hands grab my shoulders. He twists me around, and shoves me against the wall lightly. He's in my face, and I refuse to meet his gaze, staring at anything and everything except him.

"Jasper, stop!" He says sternly. He grips my biceps and shakes me softly. "Yes, I am a single gay man that stopped looking for hook-up's years ago. So, yeah…I know a thing or two about porn. I can't apologize for that. But I can tell you that I did not know who you were when I approached you. It wasn't until you finished soaking your hair and stood up straight that I recognized you."

"If you're not into hook-ups what are you doing here?" I hiss, mad at him for no apparent reason. "We did just meet today, and we're already...you know." I say, waving my hand in the direction of where we were making out just a moment ago; when we had our tongues down each other's throats…

And our hands were…

And our dicks were…

Oh Jesus fuck…

I groan in frustration, and my hands come up to my face, scrubbing roughly.

He flinches at my tone. "If I was looking for a one-night stand I _wouldn't_ be looking for it two doors down. Give me some fucking credit. I just wanted to introduce myself, but after a great day together I _was_ thinking there could be something here…some real potential."

The use of the word "was" isn't lost on me.

I sigh, feeling like a complete fool. Is it too late to suggest we just go back to kissing and forget this conversation happened?

"Dammit, I am sorry for lashing out at you, I-I haven't had a whole lot of success with guys who recognize me."

"Listen, that isn't the reason I am here. I don't care about Jasper Whitlock, porn star. Sure, I want to get to know this part of you." He grabs my crotch through my denim, and massages my semi-erection, earning a moan from me. "But I want to get to know this Jasper." He places the hand that was massaging my dick over my heart. "And I want to get to know this Jasper." He says quietly, as he knocks my forehead with his knuckles lightly. "We can take this slow Jasper. I can wait for this." His hand brushes my fly again. "Just don't shut me out because I know who you are."

He stares into my eyes with a hopeful expression, and I just want to hug him, but if he is going to get involved with me, in any capacity, I have to tell him everything. I take his hands and direct him over to the sofa. "Well, I have to tell you the rest."

So, I went into the whole story of how I was retiring but met Edward on my last gig, leaving him in Vegas and coming home with Emmett, my uncomfortable and unfortunate relationship with him, going back to Jamaica, finding Edward again, and then our little agreement, including seeing other people in the meantime.

When I finish, the room is filled with silence. It's not awkward, but I really wish he would say something.

Garrett looks thoughtful, but he turns his head to the side and stares at me for a moment. "So, pretty much I have three months to convince you to stay." He summarizes.

I can't stop the frown that I feel forming on my face, and I tell him honestly, "if there is any way that Edward and I can come up with a compromise, there will be _no way_ you can get me to stay." I grab his hands and squeeze them tightly. "I really like you already, and that is why I want to be truthful with you." I look down at our joined hands. "I am falling for him hard."

"But it sounds like you guys are moving in different directions, and if he likes what he is doing now...there will be no compromise?" He asks the last part as a question.

"I don't think it's possible. Regardless, I will be visiting him in three months as I promised. You've already said that you don't do casual sex, so I don't know where that leaves this, but I still want to be your friend."

He pulls me closer, and I go freely into his embrace. He feels so comfortable; my head fits perfectly into his hard chest.

"I might have to make an exception for you Jasper." He says in a barely audible whisper.

XXXXX

After Garrett leaves, I sit on the couch reveling in my new and easy friendship with him. It does worry me that he seems hopeful that something can come out of this, when I can only offer him, at best, something physical besides a friendship.

And I definitely can see myself getting physical with him. Garrett is sex on legs. Fucking gorgeous. He's no Edward, but he is hot in his own right. He oozes sex appeal, and has the ability to exude self- confidence without being arrogant.

I felt the saliva pool in my mouth when he removed his shirt to help me work outside. His body is lean and sinewy, he's strong, but doesn't have the bulging muscles to prove it. I could have been hypnotized by the way he moved, all grace and lithe. I could have stared in awe as each of his muscles corded when he helped me do various tasks around the yard. But I forced myself to focus on the tasks and not this amazing creature that basically fell in my lap, today - of all days.

My less than desirable mood brightened considerably after that boy had walked onto my property. It says something that he was able to drag my thoughts away from my problems with Edward and my family for the entire afternoon and into the evening.

After he had come back from showering and changing for dinner, his hair had still been slightly wet at the tips, and he smelled better than the chicken casserole that I had in the oven, and I was hungry, so that was quite an accomplishment. As we worked side by side cohesively to make the salad I couldn't help but inhale deeply through my nose several times to catch his wonderful fragrance.

I heard him chuckle, and that's when I realized that I was leaning into him, my head bent, so that my nose was practically touching his shoulder. I glanced up at him, hoping he hadn't noticed, but as luck would have it, he had a sexy smirk on his face, indicating that he knew exactly what I was doing.

"It's just Irish Spring Jasper." He noticed my blush, and put down the knife that was in his hand. He inclined in, brushed his nose against my hair, and whispered thickly, "You smell delectable too." My cheeks got even more heated, and he chuckled that throaty way again. "I like this too Jasper." He said as he brushed his fingertips over my reddened cheek, and then went back to chopping cukes.

Conversation over dinner was effortless, I genuinely enjoyed being with him, and I felt that he liked me too. We like the same sports and share an interest in certain hobbies. He loves to smile, and I found extreme pleasure in watching him when he did. He had perfectly straight white teeth, surrounded by plush ruby lips, and whenever they formed into a smile, I found myself grinning in return. We refrained from talking about anything deep, instead just being satisfied with getting to know each other on the surface.

When talk had lapsed, and silence ensued, it was anything but uncomfortable. The only awkward moment came after the kiss at the sink.

After I had explained my predicament we watched some re-runs of _House_, while we continued to get to know one another.

He hadn't tried to touch me after that, which was what I had wanted_, I guess_, but there was still this nagging feeling that I did want him to kiss me, and the urge had been there to have his hands on me again, but what could have I expected after what I had told him? Did I expect him to tell me it was okay that my heart belonged to another? Then bend himself over the back of the sofa so I could drive into the luscious ass that had been tempting me all day?

Of course not. He was better than that.

In any case, I am happy that I decided to be truthful with him. He knows everything now. I have done my due diligence, so if he makes an advance than I have nothing to feel guilty about. But it also leaves me no choice but to let him make the initial overture. I can't make a move on him, when he knows that my heart just won't be in it, that the only thing I can offer is corporeal pleasures.

I jump at the sound of my phone ringing, and automatically I feel guilty about what I had just been thinking since I know who it is that's calling, but I have done nothing wrong.

It's the deal that was made.

Per his suggestion, and choice.

"Hey baby." Edward whispers, when I pick up.

"Hey yourself, darlin'." My voice comes out thick and seductive without even trying.

"Were you thinking about me?" _Shit_.

"Kinda. So, what is going on?" I change the subject before he can respond to my lackluster, but honest response.

He sighs heavily. "My mom planned a picnic out on the lake for our family next week."

I know by our past conversations that Edward has a very good relationship with his mom and dad, and older sister, Charlotte. He talks about them a lot, even though I had evaded talking about my own family whenever the subject of our discussion veered in that direction. Edward is always polite enough to back off, and not pursue the topic even though I can tell that he is extremely curious about why I refuse to talk about them.

He cares deeply for his parents and sister, but he makes their picnic get-together seem like a burden.

He doesn't know how lucky he is, or maybe he just doesn't want to rub it in my face…I don't know.

I yearn for that_. A loving family._

The idea of my family reuniting, and having a healthy relationship, ranks right up there with the possibility of pigs flying.

"I'm sure you're gonna have a great time."

"I don't know." He sounds leery. "I am going to tell them what I have been up to the last couple months."

"Really? Everything?" I ask in shock.

He chuckles. ""Yep."

His parents, unlike my own, completely accept Edward's homosexuality, but doing porn? Well, that is another whole beast.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I ask skeptically.

"Yeah…" He sighs. "They won't understand, but they believe I need to make my own decisions, and they will accept it."

A little wave of jealousy hits, but it is quickly squashed by my happiness for him and his ability for him, and his family to find a common ground for understanding and familial support.

"Hey Jas…I wanted to ask you if you wouldn't mind if I tell them about us…I mean, you?

Exactly. What are _we_? What am I to him? He even has a problem saying "_us"_.

Two more months before we figure all this out.

"Of course. Tell them whatever you feel comfortable with." The words come out before I can retract them. I inwardly groan, knowing Edward has no filter whatsoever.

He laughs. "Are you sure about that? Because I would feel more than comfortable telling them how hard you make my dick by just merely looking at me. How even thinking about you makes me fucking leak."

Now I groan in earnest, and he laughs hysterically.

He calms down, and the airwaves have a serious buzz to them. His deep voice breaks the silence. "Jasper, before I called I was thinking about you, and I got so hard I ached for your touch." Another unwanted rush of guilt flows through me when I think about the erection that I had before he called, and that it had nothing at all to do with him. "Please help me." He sounds desperate, as his voice pleads with me.

"What do you want me to darlin'? You want me to tell you how much I miss you? How much I want you to be right here, next to me? How I wish we could figure things out now?"

"Yes," he gasps.

All of questions are impossible to define with words adequately. I won't even try.

"I can't darlin'. It's…too difficult. How about I tell you what I would do if you were here next to me."

"Yes," he hisses.

I chuckle darkly. "Darlin' if you were here right now, it would take me all of about two seconds to be all over you. Licking you, smelling you, sucking, fucking you, Edward." My dick starts to harden again, but this time it is for him.

Just him.

I balance the phone between my shoulder and ear, so I can unbutton and unzip my jeans to make room for my hard-on, but I am still uncomfortable. I look down, and I notice it's because I am wearing my orange Calvin Klein boy shorts, I pull my cock out of the tight skivvies, trying _reeeeaaally_ hard not to focus on the reason I had put on this particular pair in the first place.

"I want you to fuck me." He says quietly.

"You are standing at my door, and your all kinds of fucking hot, standing there, waiting for me to invite you in. I pull you into my house, and rip off your shirt immediately. Edward…you're not even able to breathe, my tongue…oh, my god…I can't get enough. I'm like an animal, my hands wander along every plane of your beautiful body, while my mouth devours yours. My tongue…it's all over you…swirling deep in your mouth, running across your teeth, rubbing against your tongue. Damn, we can't fucking breathe, but I can't let go, so our kisses get rougher, almost as desperate as the need to get air into our lungs. Choking, I finally relent. My cheek falls into the crook or your neck, and you do the same. I feel you gasping for air against my pulse point, each hot breath makes my body shake with unleashed desire. Can you feel it Edward? Can you feel how hot I am for you?"

I stroke my dick with long, slow strokes, not wanting to give it up too quickly.

"God, yes Jas…" his words come out in a lusty voice, all thick and creamy like. "Touch me baby."

So, I continue where I left off. "You feel so fucking good against me Edward. The heat radiating off of our naked chests mingle between us, making the air almost suffocating. But somehow my breathing has returned to normal and I attack your neck, biting at the dew already accumulating on the thick vein. God…you fucking whimper and start nipping at my shoulder as your hands cover every inch of skin on my back. I want you to touch my ass with those hot groping, molesting hands, but you don't, and it drives fucking out of mind each time you get close. I stand on my tip-toes, in desperation, seeing if that will get the job done, but you don't take the hint, as you trail back up my sides, and the short, but resplendent relief is eluded once again. I want to scream out in keen frustration. Your hands move to the front, running over my aching nipples, down my rib cage to my stomach, stopping at the hem of my jeans. You play with the edge of the fabric before making your way back up, heading in the opposite direction of my throbbing cock. Fuck darlin', why are you teasing me when I am ready to explode? "

"Oh Jas." Edward mumbles in between a series of moans, and I can tell that I am now on speaker phone.

I fist my thick shaft, unmoving, watching my purple head glisten with droplets of milky liquid. I am getting close and I am in no mood to deny myself. So, to speed this up I skip ahead.

Edward and I seem to be on the same page because he yells a desperate, "just fuck me already."

"Are you close Edward? Do you want to cum all over your pretty little stomach for me?"

"Yes." He hisses.

"I grab your hand and take you into my bedroom, and I strip you down to your sexy green boxer briefs." My first instinct is to take him right there in the living room, but instead, I opt for the only room that Garrett hasn't been in yet. "I throw you on my bed, and you immediately position yourself on all fours. I reach underneath you and palm your balls and cock while I reach into my nightstand. I feel that wet spot on your shorts and I go a little crazy. I apply the condom in lightning speed, cover it with lube and pull those shorts down your legs, but I leave them on, because I want them hanging around your knees, so I can look at them when I fuck you."

"Oh. My. God. Noooowww!" he groans.

My hand is moving at a furious pace on my cock. I know what it will take to lose my load right here and now…a few flicks over the rim of my head, and I will be done, so I avoid the area for now, keeping my fist working just underneath, so I can save my climax for when Edward is ready.

"You look so inviting like that Edward. Your ass up in the air, and your cheeks spread wide for me darlin'. I have to stand back and revel. I stroke my cock, as I stare at you. You're such a turn on. I don't think I have ever…" I get a little choked up on that part, the words stumbling out of my mouth, broken and breathless, so I discontinue that thought, and move on. "Are you on all fours for me Edward? Can you feel my fingers inside of you?"

"Ung…yeah Jas. I feel them."

"Are they making you feel good darlin'?"

"mmm…yes…" Edward moans.

"Do you want more?"

"Please." He whines.

"Oh fuck Edward. I try to penetrate you slowly, but you feel so fucking good and I just dive in, but I wait, giving us both time to adjust. I start slowly, but it doesn't last long, maybe about four or five thrusts before I am pounding you. Your body is shaking with the force, but you have enough stability to stroke that long, thick, beautiful cock of yours. And Jesus…" My breathing becomes shallow making speech difficult. "Ed…I am not…_fucking hell_…"

My dick has control of my hand now, moving it in exactly the way it needs to find its release.

"Jaaasss…" He moans.

I can't talk anymore. So, I grunt into the phone and he understands. Only heavy breathing and small whimpers are being transmitted over the line.

"Jas…are…you…r-ready?"

More than ready.

My stomach bobs, as a fountain of cum shoots out of my slit, splattering against my chest and stomach. I am vocal with my release, not containing any of my moans and groans for his benefit. He does the same, and I hear him cry out with his orgasm.

I wait for him to come down from his high, rubbing my essence into my skin lazily, as Edward had in Jamaica; at a time when things seemed far less complicated than they do now. I close my eyes and pretend that it is his hand stroking my skin now; stroking away all the questions, misgivings, insecurities and confusion that continue to haunt me.

"Done this much?" He asks sleepily.

I chuckle. "Naw. You just inspire me."

XXXXX

That week, Garrett and I spend a lot of time with each other. We hang out at my house when we want to watch a movie because my television is bigger, or when we want to cook something because I have a larger kitchen and a nicer stove. We go to his house when we want to barbeque, because he has a huge gas grill, or to play pool because he has a table in his basement. But no matter where we end up we always have a great time.

"Five in the side pocket." He declares before he bends over the pool table. I can't take my eyes off of his ass - yet again. His jeans stretch taut over his backside, as he shoots the ball into the intended target.

_I want to be the one to bend him over that table. _That realization does not astound me. I've had that thought in my head since he showed me the table for the first time.

I try to avert my gaze, and wipe the drool off my chin for the umpteenth time before he turns around with that snarky smile, because he is winning again.

He grinds the cube of blue chalk into the end of his cue stick as he surveys the table, studying his options. He saunters to each corner absently, with a natural, slight swagger to his gait that I find extremely hot.

_Is he trying to tease me? _

I honestly don't think he is trying to turn me on. He isn't doing anything different than any other guy playing pool would, but goddamn it's getting to me…he's getting to me. I've been with some hot guys in the span of my career, but with the exception of Edward, Garrett had them all beat by a mile.

The way he laughs, the way he tosses his head to the side to move his bangs out of his face, the way he unconsciously sinks his teeth into his bottom lip when he is concentrating, and the way he peers up at me through those long black lashes drives me bat shit crazy…and that was all just in the last ten minutes.

But what is really frustrating is that he hasn't so much as said or touched me in a way that can be construed as inappropriate for two friends hanging out. He slapped me on the back after I won a game of pool a couple of days ago, and he grabbed my arm the first time I was at his place, when I was dashing down the wrong hall to locate his bathroom, but that has been it.

Our flirting, if you want to even call it that, is subtle at best. I'd even hasten to say it is pretty close to non-existent. Whatever the hell he felt for me in the beginning doesn't seem to be there anymore.

And it saddens me. I don't know why I care. It's supposed to be easier this way…right?

I don't know what is going on or why I feel like I _need_ to explore these feelings that I have for him, but I can't ignore it anymore. I find myself constantly searching for any excuse to touch Garrett, or say something flirty, but so far I have managed to stop myself.

I made a promise that nothing will happen between us unless he makes the first move, but he's not and it's killing me. I _know_ that he deserves better than what I can give him. He is boyfriend material, not a nail and bail.

I know being with Garrett would never just be a one-time thing, and I can't offer him anything except a large dose of mutual sexual gratification over the next two months.

Sexual gratification…

I am more than fucking positive being balls deep in Garrett would definitely be gratifying, but he isn't just a lay, and I won't use him just to get my rocks off. Even though, I am not quite sure if that's really the only reason that I want to have him anymore.

Whatever the case may be, this "look but don't touch" rule I forced on myself is getting pretty fucking old, pretty fucking fast.

He has his stereo on, so as he moves to my side of the table, he sings along to _Street of Dreams_ by Rainbow. He squeezes by me, looking directly into my eyes while he sings. It takes all of my restraint not to slam him back into the table.

Add one more thing to the ever-growing list of Garrett's expert mindfucks.

"Two in right corner." He bends low over the table again, and sets himself up, and this time I have to lean a little to the left to get the view. His eyes are watching the shot ahead of him, but before he shoots he asks, "So, how many videos have you been in?"

This is the first question that he's asked me about my porn career, and it shocks me. My eyes shoot to his, and I am glad that he isn't looking at me because I am sure that my face is beet red. I don't normally talk to people that aren't in the business about work, and I find myself embarrassed by the topic. "I don't know…maybe twenty."

Twenty is a lot, especially for my age. The first year I pretty much lived on a plane, traveling from studio to studio, but after that I only did about three or four per year. I study Garrett while he aims for his next shot. He wants to make it seem like this is just idle chit chat, but his arms are stiff, and his eyes seem different…more intense.

He hesitates after I answer…longer than normal.

Takes the shot and misses.

The first miss in nine shots.

When he pulls up his face shows no expression, but his body is tense. "Twenty?" He asks casually, as he stares down at the table.

The air has shifted in the room, and it feels stuffy. So, in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere I decide a little flirting is finally in order.

"Yeah, how many of them have you seen?" I say in a sultry voice, and with a wicked smile.

His head pops up, and now it is his turn to blush, but he has a quick rebuttal at the tip of his tongue, and he smirks in what I am assuming is in anticipation of my coming reaction. "I don't know Jasper, would that be _before_ or _after_ we met?"

He chuckles at my softly whispered "fuck", and resumes kicking my ass at pool.

I was assuming that any vids that he watched of mine had been before we met. Knowing that he may have watched some of my performances after we met makes goose bumps rise along my arms, and my gut to twist.

Maybe he is still attracted.

How many times had he jerked off while watching me?

Which videos got him off?

When, where and how did he do it?

And why do I want to know so fucking bad?

XXXXX

Edward calls me at his usual time later that evening. It's a little awkward tonight.

I have a lot on my mind with Garrett, and Edward's gig with _Twinkdom_ is in two days; his appointment with Jared Jenks is on schedule. He doesn't mention it, but reminds me that he may not be able to call me the next few days, since he will be _out of town_.

It hasn't escaped my attention that I have yet to mention Garrett to him, and I am not really sure why.

That's a lie.

I know exactly why.

If Garrett was just a friend it would be easy to explain him to Edward, but the feeling still nags at me that this still could potentially become more, and I don't want to throw Garrett in Edward's face should that become the case.

It is one thing to keep our options open, but another to flaunt them.

He wants to have phone sex and I don't feel like it, but I participate for him. He finds his release, and when he becomes coherent again, he thankfully doesn't ask me about mine, because there wasn't one.

That night I lay in bed with a heavy heart, and a queasy feeling in my stomach.

I am starting to recognize that I have feelings for Garrett. _How can that happen if I am in love with Edward?_

Every time I think about Edward all the emotions he evokes come rushing forward.

Love, desire, caring, lust, passion, excitement, nervousness.

But I am beginning to feel those same things for Garrett too. They are just a muted, or a watered-down version, they aren't as strong as how I feel for Edward…but they are still there.

I am so terrified that I am going to jeopardize what I have with Edward by exploring these feelings that I have for Garrett, but I should have no reason to be worried.

Edward doesn't _expect_ monogamy.

He doesn't _want_ to be faithful.

Edward doesn't _know_ how to be exclusive.

He made it pretty clear that he got around, and that he doesn't want any type of commitment from me during the next three months.

And whether he feels something…anything at all…for the guys he sleeps with will be deemed perfectly acceptable, because there are no rules or stipulations to our agreement. There is no law that states we can't have feelings for the guys we have sex with. The only rule we made is no switching, which doesn't even seem like a rule since I have no urge or intention to bottom for anyone other than Edward.

Exactly. So why the fuck am I so confused?

People say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I think that's bullshit. Absence makes the heart forget. I feel like I am forgetting pieces of him already. I still want to believe that I love Edward wholeheartedly, but how can I possibly be feeling these things for Garrett, and still say that I am unequivocally in love with Edward?

Every time I hear his voice on the phone I feel that familiar ache in my chest, and all the love I feel for him is exposed, but when I hang up I stare hopelessly infatuated into turquoise eyes, and Garrett always makes me forget. When I am around him, it is just me and him hanging out, and the yearning for Edward that suffocates me relents for a time.

I have an eerie feeling that something is going to be changing soon. Too many factors are starting to present themselves.

Edward in his internet debut.

Edward telling his parents.

Garrett and I growing ever so close.

Something is about to upset the balance of our precarious relationship, and one wrong move will cause it to all topple over.

I screwed up tonight. I should have asked Edward if he is ready for his shoot…if he is nervous…maybe give him some tips, and I should have told him about my budding relationship with Garrett, but my lips remained sealed.

How can this relationship possibly go anywhere if I can't even talk to him?

I can't help but turn into a girl, and cry a little over it. It hurt, knowing that he is probably starting to feel the same way…that when I go to him in two months time all of the feelings that we had toward each other will all have disappeared, with only traces of awkward hugs and meaningless conversation to get us through the useless visit.

My dreams leave me restless this night, consisting of a pair of eyes, conflicted with whirls of emerald and turquoise, and a mane mixed with vibrant rust and soft brown.

XXXXX

"What's up Jasper?" Garrett looks at me with raised eyebrows.

I look away from the television to a discerning Garrett. He can read me so well in the short amount of time that we have known each other.

I have always been honest with him, and I feel like I owe it to him to continue to do so.

"Something up with Edward?" He asks. _Way too perceptive_.

"Yeah…he has his first shoot today." I say, astonishingly calm, considering the rioting emotions filling every vein, fueling my heart to beat at a steady, but quick pace.

"With who?"

"_Twinkdom_. You ever go on there?"

"No. That site is too young for me. I like my men a little older." He winks.

"Really?" I ask, surprised. "Cause last I checked you are still a couple of years older than me."

Okay, so that was pretty blatant. Garrett looks equally as stunned, but recovers quickly, as usual.

"Who says I am still into you?" He retorts, with a slight challenge to his voice.

I am lying along the length of the couch, and he is sitting on the end, so I give him a swift kick in the leg. He grasps his thigh in his hands and lets out a yelp, but his smile is bright, and his turquoise eyes shine with humor.

Damn, he is beautiful. I shake myself from those thoughts and my eyes are drawn back to the television. We lapse into a comfortable silence, and it amazes me again how easy our relationship is.

"So…are you going to watch it?" He asks the inevitable.

"I don't know." I whisper without looking away from the television, even though I don't even know what we are watching anymore, but when he doesn't say anything I turn to him. "What do you think?"

He sighs, and swivels so that he is facing me. He folds one leg on the couch, and sits on it. "If I wanted to be selfish Jasper I would tell you to watch it." He says quietly, looking down at his hands, but he lifts his eyes, and I see the sadness in them. "But I am your _friend_, so I have to tell you not to do it. Nothing good can come out of it."

I gaze back at the TV, and I finally notice that we are watching _The Munster's_. Wanting to change the subject I ask him about something that I have been wondering about. "Where is your family, if you don't mind me asking?"

He takes a quick glance at me before his eyes return to the show. "No, umm…my parents both died in a car accident five years ago. I have one sister. Her name is Maggie, she's sixteen. She's living with our aunt in Wisconsin. I talk to her once a week. She loves high school, and my aunt and uncle are really good to her."

I learned from our past conversations that Garrett is from Wisconsin, and moved to Texas for work as a Literary Arts teacher for tenth graders. He also works every other weekend at the youth center, as a helper, and acts as a substitute basketball coach when needed.

I sit up and I brush my hand against his arm. "I am so sorry about your parents. That must have been devastating."

"It was…but it was a long time ago, and I have had a lot of time to deal with it, and move on. I was just getting ready to leave for college at the time. I wanted to take Maggie, but I was so young, y'know? By the time I was able to take care of her properly, she was immersed in her life in Wisconsin and a happy, stable kid." He shrugs. "How about you? Do you have any siblings?"

"One. A twin." I try to keep the disgust out of my voice.

His eyes widen, and he chuckles. "Is he as hot as you?"

"It's a she. Her name is Rosalie, and I have no idea if she is as hot as me or not, because it's been years since I saw her."

The silence is deafening.

"Are you going to elaborate on that, or are you waiting for me to ask you twenty questions?"

And without any other nudging I begin my sordid tale. "I came out when I was fifteen. Actually, I was forced out. I had a secret boyfriend that year. I had other sexual experiences before him, but he was the closest thing to a relationship I had up to that point. I knew Charlie and Renee would not approve of my being gay, so I didn't want to come out until I was ready to leave for college."

He interrupts, trying to keep up with the story. "Charlie and Renee?"

"Oh yeah, Charlie and Renee are my parents. I stopped calling them mom and dad when they stopped being them. Anyway, thankfully, my boyfriend lived with exactly the same fears from his parents, so there was no pressure to come out. He had even gone so far as to finding a pseudo girlfriend to fake out his parents. Things had been going great for about eight months. In the second half of our sophomore year our worlds exploded. We had gym class together, so one day, when we were alone in the showers, we kissed…"

"Fuck!" He hisses.

Yeah, he knows what is coming.

I concede to his comment with a knowing nod of my head, and utter the words he already knows, "but we weren't alone. One of our classmates had seen us making out and ran to tell the others. It was that afternoon that we were accosted by three guys from the high school football team. We were on our way home…I was just a few houses from my own…I had almost made it." I stop and close my eyes as the pain of that day assails me. _When will it stop feeling like it just happened?_

He edges closer, and clasps my hand in his. His bright turquoise eyes are sad, and understanding.

_Has every gay man heard this story? Lived this story?_

"Needless to say we got beaten to a pulp. Bad enough to put us both in the emergency room with open cuts, and broken bones. My boyfriend had been kicked in the stomach so many times he had three broken ribs. Another kid from school had been walking home, saw what was happening, and ran to my house for help. My mom and dad came running out and scared the kids away, but not before they called us several defamatory names associated with our orientation. While we waited for the ambulance my dad asked me if it was true…what they had said. I didn't say anything, but he saw the answer in my eyes."

I try to shrug it off, but the tears are forming in my eyes. Garrett sees through my pretense of impassiveness, and his free hand comes up to stroke my hair, and the side of my face.

"He never came to the hospital to see me, neither did my mom. Rosalie came once, but mainly just to tell me that dad didn't want a fag in his house, and that he instructed mom she wasn't allowed to come see me. When I was recovering in the hospital I made several calls to some different family members. The only one that would take me in was my uncle. He traveled for work, so he was barely there. I stayed at his place until I graduated. I had already started doing porn by that point."

"You haven't seen any of them since then?" He asks in a hoarse whisper.

"I haven't spoken with my parents, but Rosalie has been trying to contact me by email the past couple of months."

"Wow. Well, what does she have to say all of a sudden?" He huffs, and then quickly adds, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." He moves over to the other side of the couch to grab the box of Kleenex and he hands it to me. I hadn't realized I had been crying.

"That's just it. I read the first couple and she is trying to pretend like nothing ever happened. I haven't read any recently. I just delete them now."

"Jasper, goddamn, that is so fucked up." He shakes his head, unbelievingly.

The only one I had ever told about my separation from my family was James, and it was only a brief rendering at that. I had avoided the subject completely with Edward, and here I was telling Garrett everything, and even without coercion or duress.

_Why does he make it so easy? What is it about him?_

I scoot down the couch, and I pull his face to mine. I kiss him lightly by just brushing my lips against his. He sits awkwardly; tense and afraid to make this into anything more than what it is.

I am sick of waiting for him to make a first move. He knows what he is getting into, he can take it or leave it, but I want…no, I _need_ to try.

I climb on top of him, and straddle his thighs. "Goddammit, _touch_ me Garrett."

He doesn't waste any time in doing so. He clutches on to my sides and raises the hem of my t-shirt just enough that he can rest his hands on my bare midriff.

Just like our first kiss, our lips touch softly, barely moving against each other. He applies a little more pressure, and I can feel his warm breath wash over me, beckoning me to explore further. He tastes like cinnamon, but that might have something to do with the stick of _Big Red _he popped into his mouth after dinner.

His hands roam up my sides and settle over each of my pecs, palming my pebbled nipples. His fingertips flirt with my collarbone, as the kiss becomes intense. I break away and raise my arms over my head.

Garrett stares at me hard, trying to see into my soul. There is a flicker of skepticism, but he removes my shirt swiftly, and throws it to the floor. I celebrate his acquiesce by cupping his gorgeous cheeks in my hands, and kissing him thoroughly.

I sit back on his legs, bringing his mouth with me. I fist his shirt, tugging it in a silent request. He pushes his back away from the sofa, and I pull away from the kiss, just so I can yank the shirt over his head, and throw it to the floor on top of mine. Immediately, I resume my previous position. Our hands slide across torsos, learning each other slowly and languidly. I watch my hands as they travel over his heated skin.

He is absolutely beautiful…everything about him.

Our hips start to move in an unhurried rocking motion. His hips thrust up and down, while mine sway from side to side, his steel erection grinds together with mine. My head falls back with the pleasure of our erotic dance.

"I have wanted to do this since the day I met you." He admits gutturally.

His words cause my eyes flutter closed, and my lips to find his blindly.

We are relishing each other…enjoying this for all it is worth.

This isn't an all-consuming, raging inferno…just a slow, delicious burn, and I love it. Sometimes, the emotions and intensity that come with Edward are overwhelming. This is intense and we are both in _need_, but we aren't trying to crawl into each other's skin.

I palm his cock through his jeans. He hisses as I mold my hand to his throbbing shaft, running along the length back and forth. It twitches endlessly, and I know then, that it's not going to take long.

For either of us.

Because my throbbing cock is straining against my jeans.

No. This first time, it will be short and painful, but after that…

After that, we can take our time. We'll stay up all night, and we can savor each other.

I rise and grab his hand. "Let's take this to the bedroom."

He hesitates. "I-I should go."

_Noooo._

My mind scrambles for…anything to make him stay, but honesty with Garrett has always been a priority, and that isn't going to change because I have a desperate ache to finish what we've started here. "I know I can't offer you much of anything. Can we just have this – for now?" I say desperately, my eyes beseech him to see my meaning.

He weaves both of his hands through his hair roughly. "Let me get this straight. You want me to be your fuck buddy for the next couple of months? Until you go back to Edward? Answer me something - do you want to fuck me now because Edward is having sex with somebody else today?"

"God, no." I whisper fervently to the last question, and I am shocked to realize that it's not a lie.

It's not even close to a lie.

I want _him_. Garrett.

This has nothing to do with Edward.

His expression gives away nothing, so as I pull him up from the sofa, I back off and hold my breath, letting him lead the way.

It will either be to the front door, or it will be to the bedroom.

* * *

**AN: So, does he stay or does he go? What do ya think? **

**Just keep in mind that we have NO idea what Edward is doing during this time yet.**

**I am off to write my FGB auction items. I will try to fit another chap in between that, but we will see. Since I am giving something from the next chapter to Burnt Marshmallow reviewers I will do the same here, so let me know what you think so far and I will give you something from next chapter.**

**Thanks for reading! This is fun…right?**


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